


Alone Together

by ChiekoFics



Category: Red Dead Redemption
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blow Jobs, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Kieran Duffy - Freeform, Oral Sex, Original Character(s), Porn with Feelings, Slow Burn, Vaginal Sex
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-13
Updated: 2019-04-05
Packaged: 2019-09-17 18:18:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 24
Words: 46,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16979460
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChiekoFics/pseuds/ChiekoFics
Summary: Anne is the unofficial doctor for the van der Linde gang. She meets the gang's newest prisoner and becomes absolutely smitten.





	1. Alone Together

**Author's Note:**

> I've been sitting on this fic for a while and trying to muster up the courage to post it. Please excuse any grammatical errors. Will update regularly!

The sun was beating down hard on Anne as she made her way to the new van der Linde camp. She received word from them that they pitched a new camp outside of Valentine and she was riding over there to see it for the first time. As the unofficial doctor for the van der Linde gang, Dutch gave her a lot of leeway with how often she could come and go from camp. Doctors in most towns did not recognize her as a medical professional, which made finding work close to the gang difficult. For the time being, she could only find reliable work in San Denis, whose town doctor managed to look past her gender. The steady work that the town doctor provided for her forced Anne to stay in San Denis for months, where she stayed during the gang’s brief stint in the snowy mountains. But now, the gang was back in civilization and she was anxious to see everyone again.

When she arrived at camp she greeted a lot of old faces and made a beeline for the medical wagon. It was empty, so she was grateful that she managed to bring with her a bag full of supplies for the gang. While restocking the wagon, she couldn’t help but notice a new person in camp, a guy she didn’t recognize tied to a tree. He looked like he was slipping in between consciousness and nobody in camp seemed to care. She walked over to Dutch to inquire about the stranger. 

“Dutch? Can I have a word with you?” Anne asked as she approached the gang leader’s tent.

 Dutch was in his tent smoking a cigar. “Yes, Miss Anne. What is it?”

“Who is that?” she asked, pointing over at the poor soul tied to the tree.

“Ah. That is our new friend. He’s an O’Driscoll that we picked up when we were the mountains. We’re hoping we can get some information from him. I figured if we starve him enough, he’ll eventually talk.” 

“Then what will you do with him?”

Dutch looked at Anne slightly perplexed. “He’s an O’Driscoll. What do you think we’re gonna do to him?”

 Anne felt pity rise in her stomach. She never took much stock in the whole rivalry between the gangs. If she was being perfectly honest, he didn’t look like much of an outlaw. He just looked scared. “How long has he been without food, Dutch? The starvation will kill him eventually. You might be running out of time to question him.”

“Is that so? Well then. If that’s the case, then we best intensify our methods. I’ll get Bill” Dutch was about to call for Bill before Anne quickly interrupted him.

“Not necessarily.” She uttered quickly. “I can give him something. A health tonic, maybe? Something to give him some nutrients to prolong his life. It won’t take away his hunger pains, but it will keep him alive a bit longer for you to starve him out.”

Dutch seemed pleased with the suggestion. “I leave it in your capable hands, Miss Anne.”

Anne sighed in relief. She made her way towards the tied-up O’Driscoll, who seemed to be either asleep or passed out. He looked surprisingly well for someone who has been denied food for so long. She put her hands on his mouth to examine his gums but, as soon as she touched him, he jolted awake. His eyes widened in fear but he seemed too weak to scream. Anne jumped back in surprise. Who knew an outlaw would be so skittish? Anne knelt before him and put her hands on his shoulders in an attempt to calm him.

“I’m sorry. I was just trying to examine you. I’m Anne.”

He calmed slightly, but he still seemed terrified. “Miss, p-please. I need help.” He whispered softly.

“I can see that. Look, I’m sort of the doctor around here. I just want to take a look at you. That’s all. Make sure you aren’t dying”

She looked closer at his eyes and skin. He was dehydrated and needing food, but he wasn’t nearly as sick as someone in his situation should be.

“Has someone been giving you water or food? You wouldn’t be alive right now if someone hasn’t.” Anne took her hands off his shoulders and started looking for something in her bag.

The O’Driscoll’s eyes clenched shut, worried about what she was going to pull from her bag. “No. N-not exactly. I…I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

Anne took out two medium sized bottles from her bag and set them on the ground in front of her. She tried to meet the O’Driscoll’s eye line but his eyes remained shut. Anne put her hand on his cheek. “Hey. It’s okay. It’s okay. Look at me, look at me.”

The O’Driscoll reluctantly opened his eyes and looked back at Anne.

“I want to help you.” Anne whispered to him.

He seemed genuinely surprised. His face quickly perked up. “You do? Really?”

“Do you want to die?” Anne asked softly.

This was clearly not what he was expecting to hear. “W-what?”

“Do you want to die?” Anne asked again. She leaned closer to him and pretended to examine the side of his cheek. She pushed her lips close to his ear and began to whisper. “I don’t know what they have planned for you, but we both know it won’t be good. If you don’t tell them what they want to hear, they will hurt you. Badly. I’m asking you if you want a way out. A way to avoid all that pain.”

The O’Driscoll looked at Anne as if she was insane. “What are you talking about? You wanna kill me?”

“No! Of course, not!” Anne moved her face so that she was looking him in the eyes again. “I want to help you. If you want to live, I’ll help you do that.” Anne picked up the two bottles that she took out of her bag and held them both in front of him. “This one is poison, used for crafting weapons and what not. If you drink the whole thing, you’ll die. No pain. Nothing. This other one here is a health cure, it will help to hydrate you and give you some vitamins. Which one do you want?”

The O’Driscoll gestured his head toward the health cure. She unscrewed the cap and put the bottle to his lips. Despite his obvious thirst he seemed reluctant to drink it.

“What’s wrong?” Anne asked. She looked at the bottle in her hand, wondering if he was afraid to drink it. Or afraid of her. “It’s not going to kill you. It’s just a health cure. I promise.”

He didn’t look convinced. She took a swig from the bottle and showed him the inside of her mouth to prove to him that she swallowed it. “See?”

This seemed to calm his nerves a bit and when Anne put the bottle to his lips again, he drank it without hesitation.

“T-thank you, miss.” He said quietly. 

“You’re welcome.” Anne gave him a small smile. “Do you have a name?”

“Kieran. My name’s Kieran”

************************

Anne wasn’t planning on staying in camp for more than a few days, but she decided that she was going to stick around a bit longer to make sure that Dutch’s O’Driscoll prisoner was going to be okay. She planned on sneaking him water and maybe some food, but found it difficult to find an opportunity to do so. There were always people around him either watching him, or taunting him as they walked past. She felt sorry for him, but didn’t do much about it. She couldn’t exactly stand up for an O’Driscoll.

Anne planned on waiting until nighttime when everyone would be sleeping to try and feed him then. When night came, Anne was hiding in the shadows near the tree that Kieran was tied to. She had a cup of water for him and an apple she bought from town. It didn’t feel right sneaking him food from the camp, since it was clear that nobody in the camp would approve of their food going to feed an O’Driscoll.

Anne was about to approach Kieran when the sound of footsteps stopped her in her tracks. She froze in place, hoping she wouldn’t be spotted. The footsteps belonged to Mary-Beth, who was walking towards Kieran with a cup in her hand.

“Here ya go” She whispered as she guided the cup into his mouth. He quickly emptied the contents of the cup and sighed in relief. 

“Thank you, miss” He said gratefully.

Mary-Beth didn’t reply and instead just walked back toward the heart of the camp without saying a word. _Well, at least we know how he managed to stay alive for so long._

Anne slowly started to creep back to her tent. She put the cup and apple aside as she began to lie down for bed. She felt a strange feeling inside of her. Was it jealousy? It couldn’t be. Jealous of what? Mary-Beth? Why would she care who’s the one feeding Kieran, as long as he’s being taken care of, why does it matter? But it did matter. A part of her wanted to be the one to care for him.

She tossed and turned in bed for a while, unable to sleep. Thoughts of Kieran raced around in her mind. She began to regret offering him the poison to drink. Anne wondered if that scared him more than she realized. If she were in his position, she would rather have a quick death rather than a slow torturous one. But he isn’t her, and he was clearly rattled by her suggestion. She decided to take the apple to him after all and apologize.

 


	2. Dead on Arrival

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hope this is the last time, 'cause I'd never say no to you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's so nerve-wracking uploading my work. I hope I kept grammatical errors to a minimum.

It was still the dead of night, but Kieran was still wide awake. “Hey, Kieran. Are you okay?” Anne whispered to him as she got close to his tree. She instantly felt stupid for asking. He was tied to a tree in the middle of enemy territory, of course he wasn’t okay. 

“Huh?” He whispered back. 

“It’s me, from earlier. I gave you that health cure.” Anne replied sitting down near him. “I wanted to apologize for earlier. It seems like I scared you, didn’t I?”

“A bit, yeah”

“I didn’t mean to, I’m sorry. I just wanted to help. So I brought you this apple. An apology apple.” Anne held out the apple to Kieran before taking out her knife to cut it into slices for him.

“Apology apple? Don’t think I ever heard of that.” Kieran replied awkwardly. 

Anne wasn’t sure how to respond, so she just cut into the apple and began slowly feeding Kieran slices of it. When the apple was finished, Anne chucked the apple core towards the trees in the forest. “You want anything else? Something to drink, maybe?”

 “I…” Kieran stopped his words, and tried to collect his thoughts before responding. “You want to help me? Then, m-maybe...can you do something for me?”

“Sure, anything” Anne replied.

“Will you put in a good word for me with the gang?” Kieran asked desperately. “Tell ‘em I mean no harm.”

Anne winced at his suggestion. She knew that there would be nothing she could do to save his life if the gang intended to kill him. “I-I don’t know, Kieran. I want to help you, I really do. But everyone here hates the O’Driscolls- “

“I ain’t an O’Driscoll!” He pleaded loudly.

Anne quickly put her hands over his mouth and looked around to make sure he didn’t wake anyone with his loud remark. “Shh…” she said before taking her hands off him. “It doesn’t matter what you say. Nobody here will ever believe that, and Dutch’s hate for Colm O’Driscoll is fierce. I don’t think I’ll be able to save you from his wrath.”

Kieran’s expression shifted. He seemed disappointed with her answer. All of sudden, tears started to stream from his eyes. He began to sob quietly in front of Anne. She wasn’t sure what to do, but it hurt her heart to see him look so hopeless.

She couldn’t control herself. She reflexively reached out and put her arms around him. He didn’t seem to mind the embrace and started to cry into her shoulder. Anne whispered into his ear. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry this is happening to you. I can’t make any promises, but I will try my best to intervene for you if I can.” 

Anne broke the embrace to look at him in his eyes. “I’ll try, okay?” she said softly.

Her words seemed to calm him down a bit, and he nodded slightly at her. She stroked his hair a bit before getting up to leave.

“Miss?” Kieran called to Anne as she was walking away. “Thank you. For bein’ so nice to me.”

Anne smiled warmly at him before walking away.

It was almost morning by the time Anne got into her tent. She was more tired than she realized. Satisfied with how her night turned out, she fell asleep rather quickly.

It was midafternoon when Anne was jolted awake by the sounds of Kieran begging and screaming. She rushed out of her bedroll and headed towards the sound of his screams. Dutch, Bill and Arthur were standing around him laughing. She tried to say something, but before words could come out of her mouth, Arthur was in the process of uniting him. Arthur began leading Kieran towards the horses as Bill and Dutch remained amused. 

“Geld him!” Dutch said to himself with a laugh as he walked over to his tent. Anne quickly followed him to find out what’s happening with Kieran.

“Hi Dutch” Anne asked quickly, trying to hide the panic from her voice. “Where’s the O’Driscoll going?”

“He’s taking Arthur and some of the others over to Six Point Cabin. Apparently, Colm O’Driscoll is holed up there. With any luck, we can kill that son of a bitch and end this feud once and for all.”

Anne started fidgeting with her hands nervously. “Then what? What will you do to the O’Driscoll?”

Dutch looked back at Anne. He didn’t seem to notice that she was taking a great deal of interest in his prisoner. Dutch casually remarked, “Not sure. If his information’s good, then I’ll probably cut him loose.” 

“What if it isn’t?”

Dutch’s expression hardened. “You mean if he’s setting us up? Then I’ll kill him myself. In the worst way, imaginable.”

Anne’s face turned white.

***************************

Anne had to continue with her duties around camp despite her worry about Kieran. She took stock of everything that the camp was lacking in terms of medical supplies. She brought some stuff for the camp when she first arrived, but it wasn’t nearly enough to keep twenty people healthy. She made plans to take a quick trip to Valentine soon to get their stock up. The doctor in Valentine wasn’t willing to give her work or consult with her if she needed advice, but he was always more than willing to take her money. 

Later in the day, she was treating Molly O’Shea who had a bit of rash developing on her forearm. As she was applying some cream to her arm, two horses were riding into camp. One horse had Bill Williamson on it, and the other had John Marston and…

“Kieran…” Anne said softly. 

“What?” Molly asked

“Nothing, sorry. I was talking to myself.” Anne cleared her throat and finished what she was doing. “Okay, all done. Take this cream and apply it daily until the rash is clear, okay?”

“Alright. Thanks doc.” Said Molly before taking the cream from Anne.

Bill and John were taking Kieran over to Dutch’s tent. Anne grew worried. She wondered if something went wrong and Kieran was about to get his throat slit right in front of her. He didn’t look that scared though, quite the opposite. He looked comfortable, confident even. Anne went to stand near Dutch’s tent while trying to make eye contact with Kieran. When he met her gaze, she cocked an eyebrow at him as if to ask him what’s happening.  He shrugged slightly before Dutch emerged from his tent.

“Everyone, can I have your attention please? This is Kieran, he helped us kill some O’Driscolls and saved Arthur’s life. He is going to stay in camp for the time being to-” Dutch stopped himself and put an arm on Kieran’s shoulder. “What is it that you did in the O’Driscoll gang? What role did you fill?”

“M-Mostly, I cared for the horses. Sir.” Kieran replied shakily.

Dutch resumed his announcement. “He will care for the horses, and do any other work that you see fit. Try your best to not shoot the kid.”

Anne sighed in relief over the news.

Dutch called Mary-Beth over. “Miss Gaskill, will you and Miss Grimshaw arrange for somewhere for the boy to sleep? And get him something to wear suitable for work.”

“Of course, Dutch” Mary-Beth replied cheerfully. She grabbed Kieran by the arm and led him towards Susan. 

Anne inhaled deeply. The familiar feeling of jealously started to creep back into her stomach. She ignored it and continued with her work for the day.

Kieran got set up with a tent near the horses. Mary-Beth got him some new clothes and a hat before she gave him the grand tour of the camp. Anne was so engrossed in reading a new medical book that she didn’t even notice Kieran and Mary-Beth approaching her.

“This is Anne, she’s sorta our doctor around here. She’s not always around, but if you ever get sick or anything, she’ll be the one to patch you up.” Mary-Beth said as she gestured towards Anne.  

Anne looked up at the two of them and got up from her seat a bit quicker than she intended. She smoothed out her shirt before speaking. “It’s you. How are you liking the camp?”

“It’s nice. Sure, beats being tied to a tree and starved.” Kieran said, rubbing his neck.

“Right, you haven’t had food in a while. Have you had something to eat yet?” Anne asked plainly.

“I gave him food” Mary-Beth replied, before nervously correcting herself. “I mean, just now. I gave him something to eat just a bit ago.”

Anne leaned closer to Kieran’s face to examine him further. “How do you feel? Are you holding it down okay?”

Kieran thought for a moment before answering. “I think so. I’m not too sure.”

Anne gestured to an open seat at her table. “Why don’t you have a seat and I can make sure you’re okay. Being starved for so long isn’t exactly good for your body.”

Kieran sat at the table and Anne sat down next to him. She turned to Mary-Beth “I’ll just be a few minutes with him, then I’ll send him back to you.”

Mary-Beth nodded in agreement before walking off. Anne made sure she was no longer in earshot before speaking.

“You told them where your gang was holed up? Why did you do that? Did they hurt you? Is that why you told them?” Anne asked quietly.

“Sorta. One of them got some tongs and threated to cut off my parts if I didn’t speak. I didn’t know what else to do. So... I led them to the O’Driscolls.” Kieran replied nervously.

“Jesus. I don’t blame you. I’m sorry that happened.”

“It’s funny. In that moment when that guy was holding them tongs to me, the first thing that came to mind was…you. And how I should have accepted your poison.” Kieran said with a small smile.

Anne wasn’t expected him to say that. She put a hand to his arm. “Are you kidding me? I’m _so_ glad that you didn’t. If you did, you wouldn’t be here right now. Which would’ve been tragic. I would have been devastated if anything happened to you”

Kieran’s face flushed red in embarrassment. He broke eye contact with her and instead stared at the ground. Anne removed her hand from him, fearing that she offended him with her touch. An air of awkwardness remained between the two of them. Anne inhaled deeply before trying to change the subject.

“Anyways, since your body is still recovering from the starvation and all, I want you to take meals slowly. Eat smaller portions than you’re used to until you start feeling more like yourself.”

“I’ll do that. T-thanks. For everything.”

Anne smirked a bit. “What do you mean?”

“For being so nice to me, and everything. When I was a prisoner and stuff” Kieran was still unable to make eye contact with her.

Anne smiled to herself before getting up from her seat. She put a hand under his chin and pushed it upwards so that he was forced to look at her. His cheeks were burning red with embarrassment, but he held her gaze. “You’re welcome” Anne said coolly before walking away from him.

He couldn’t keep his eyes off of her for the rest of day.

 


	3. The Carpal Tunnel of Love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're so miserable and stunning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read so far! I'm really new at all this, so it means a lot!

It has been a few days since Kieran had been freed from his post as prisoner in camp. Anne was surprised with how hard he has been working. He wakes up earlier than anyone else in the gang and works late most nights. While the others in camp spend their free time drinking or playing cards, Kieran usually keeps to himself, opting to remain near the little scout fire by the horses. Despite all the hard work Kieran has been putting into the camp, everyone still lays into him whenever they get a chance, mercilessly taunting him and calling him O’Driscoll instead of addressing him by his name.  Anne hated the way everyone treated him and she wanted to do something nice for him.

Kieran was taking a break from his work and was sitting on a log near the horses. Anne walked over and sat next to him. Kieran shifted awkwardly in his seat at Anne’s closeness. This was the first time that they spoke to each other since the day that he was set free in camp.

“How are you liking life in Dutch’s gang?” Anne asked, trying to ease his nerves.

“F-fine. I’m working hard, tryin’ to prove myself and all.” Kieran said as his body relaxed a bit more.

“You already proved yourself. You work hard, harder than a lot of the others here do.”

Kieran took his hat off and started to run his fingers through his hair. “Nobody here seems to think so, they still call me O’Driscoll.”

“I don’t see you that way. I trust you. They’ll see it too, just give them time.” Anne put her hand on Kieran’s arm, which caused him tense back up. “Hey, Kieran?”

Kieran was unable to look at Anne in the eye. “Yeah?” 

“I’m going to town today. I have to get some things and I wanted to know if you wanted me to buy you anything, my treat?”

Kieran seemed surprised at her question. “M-me? You want to get somethin’ for me?”

“Yeah, whenever I head to town, I like to bring back frivolous stuff for the rest of camp. People usually ask me for stuff like cigars or liquor. I can get some for you if you want. Do you like those kinds of things?”

“N-not really. I don’t wanna put you out or anythin’ like that. I don’t need anything.”

“I want to get you something. Please? It would make me happy.”

Kieran finally made eye contact with Anne, he looked at her deeply and was touched by her kindness.

“Maybe some sugar cubes, then? I think the horses would really like ‘em.”

“The horses? Sure, I mean, I can get some of that but I was thinking more of something for you. What sorts of things do you like?”

“Miss, really. I don’t need anything. I wouldn’t want you to go through all that trouble for me.”

Anne sighed a bit before getting up from the log. “It isn’t any trouble. I swear. But if you _really_ don’t want anything, then okay. Sugar cubes. I’ll make sure to get some for you.” Anne smiled at Kieran before heading off.

************************ 

It was late at night when Kieran was done with his work for the day. He worked well into the night before he finally let himself get into his bedroll. He laid there for a while looking up at the stars when he suddenly jolted up. He remembered how late it was and he realized that Anne hasn’t made it back to camp yet. Valentine wasn’t much of a ride from where they were and she mentioned that she was only going to pick up some things from the store. What could be taking her so long to get back? Kieran quickly got out of his bedroll and started to pace around a bit.

He checked to see if she was in her tent. He thought that maybe she slipped into camp at some point and he just hadn’t noticed. Her tent was empty. He started to wonder if she was sleeping in someone else’s tent. He wasn’t sure why he cared so much, if she was. The O’Driscoll camp sometimes had women brought in for the night and the women would go from tent to tent until every feller had a taste. The women in this camp were different though, and they didn’t seem like the type to do that sort of thing. He couldn’t help but feel jealous at the idea of Anne slipping into bed with one of the guys from camp, or any guy really.

There was also a possibility that something could’ve happened to her. Something bad. He grew more and more concerned as the night went on. He usually liked to wake up early to get a head start on work before anyone else was up, but he found himself unable to sleep. He played scenarios in his head of Anne in danger or lying in a ditch somewhere as he struggled to relax. Despite his effort to try his hardest to stay awake to wait up for Anne, he couldn’t keep his eyes open any longer and he fell asleep.

 ************************  

Anne made it back to camp in the early morning, and everyone was either just waking up or still asleep. On her way to Valentine, Anne saw some plants growing near the entrance of the town and stopped to pick every single one that she saw. She then sold the plants to the doctor and was pleased that she made some money to put into the gang’s tithing box. Foraging for the plants took a considerable amount of time and set her schedule back quite a bit. By the time she was done with her shopping, it was dark out and she didn’t want to risk riding back at night. She decided to play it safe and booked a hotel in town and opted to sleep there.

When she arrived at camp, the first thing she did was drop off some liquor and cigarettes for the rest of the gang at Pearson’s wagon and then went to see Kieran. He was normally awake by now, so she was surprised to see him still sleeping. He looked so peaceful in his sleep and Anne had to resist the urge to plant a kiss on his forehead.

 ************************ 

Kieran woke up with the hot afternoon sun beating down on his face. He didn’t realize he slept for so long. He rubbed his eyes and was surprised that nobody bothered to wake him up. He thought sleeping in this late would cause at least one of the gang members to kick him awake and yell at him to get to work. Nobody seemed to care or even notice that he wasn’t around. Kieran was unsure how to feel about that.

He remembered why he was up so late the previous night. Anne didn’t make it back to camp the night before and he quickly got up to look for her. He walked for a bit before he was stopped in his tracks by the sound of her laughter. He followed the noise and saw Anne laughing with Mary-Beth. He felt a feeling of relief rush through his body and he instinctively started making his way toward her. Unfortunately, each step he took toward her made him more and more nervous. He changed his mind about greeting her and started walking the other way.

************************  

Later in the day he was working on repairing a saddle near the horses when Anne approached him.

“Hi there,” Anne said with a smile. “I never usually see you sleep in for so long, I’m glad you were able to get some rest.”

At least someone noticed that he wasn’t around.

“Yeah, I normally don’t like to do that, but I was up so late last night. I was worried about you. You said that you was just goin’ to the store, but you didn’t make it camp last night.” Said Kieran with concern in his voice.

“I’m sorry I worried you. I ended up picking up a bunch of plants on my way to Valentine and it made me lose track of time. I spent the night at the hotel so I didn’t have to travel in the dark.” 

“Oh” said Kieran, relieved that she didn’t spend the night in the arms of some other feller. “You took that long picking plants? What for?”

“To craft medicine and tonics. The doctor in Valentine bought some of them and I kept a few for myself, to make some medicine for the gang.”

“So you really are some kind of a doctor then?” Kieran said admiring her, “I ain’t really heard of a lady doctor before.”

“Neither have I. I’m not really a doctor though, women aren’t exactly allowed to call themselves doctors, but my father is a physician and my mother was a combat nurse in the war. So, it’s in my blood. They taught me almost everything I know.” 

“Why are you so far away from your parents then? Don’t you miss ‘em?”

“Of course I do, but I wanted to get some real world experiences in treating people, so I travel around trying to find people willing to let a woman help them. Usually my patients are people who can’t afford the regular doctor and have to settle with me.”

“You seem to be good at what you do, I would rather have you than anyone else.” Kieran cheeks flushed when he realized what he said. “I mean with doctoring and stuff. I’d trust you to patch me up.”

Anne laughed at Kieran’s nervousness and started to take some things out of her bag. “I have a surprise for you.” She put the sugar cubes that Kieran asked for into his hand.

“Oh, you actually…” Kieran cleared his throat. “I mean, thank you. I think the horses will really like this”

“Oh, that’s not the surprise.” Anne took out a bag that was filled with fruit, candy, canned food and a few other things she could find at the general store. “Since you didn’t tell me what you wanted from town, you forced me to get a bit of everything for you. Here you go.” Anne handed Kieran the bag. 

Kieran looked inside and his eyes widened in surprise. “All this is for m-me? Please Miss, I can’t accept this.”

“You didn’t really give me a choice. I didn’t know what you liked, so you forced me to guess. Next time, tell me what you want so I don’t have to buy so much, okay?”

“Miss, really, I can’t take all this. It wouldn’t be right.”

“I wanted to get it for you, please take it. Please?”

Kieran was touched by the gesture. Nobody in his life has ever done anything like this for him before and he felt overwhelmed with emotion.  

“Hey Kieran, before I forget, can you do me a favor?”

Kieran wiped a small tear from his eye. “Yes, Miss. Anything.”

“You don’t have to call me Miss all the time. I have a name. Can you start calling me Anne?”

“Course. Thank you, Miss Anne.”

Anne smirked, “Close enough” 


	4. XO

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Love never wanted me, but I took it anyway.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut begins from this chapter onwards. I'll put a smut warning before each chapter just in case you want to avoid that kind of thing. 
> 
> This chapter contains light smut towards the end.

Anne mentioned that she wanted to craft some medicine with the plants that she picked up the other day and Kieran offered her the scout fire to use. He relished in any alone time he could spend with Anne.  He sat close to her and watched her carefully measure ingredients and turn a bunch nonsense plants into a substance that could cure ailments. He could watch her do this all day, if she let him. He thought about telling her how pretty she looked today, but he struggled to find the words.

His palms started to get sweaty and he kept wiping them against his pants in nervous habit. She was always kind to him, but he didn’t want to mistake her kindness for attraction. After all, she was smart, talented and not to mention pretty, so why would she like someone like him? She wore clean clothes and always smelled nice, so he figured her parents much be the rich type and would likely arrange for her to marry some other rich guy. 

His curiosity got the best of him and he couldn’t stop himself from asking, “So…do you got a feller?” Kieran instantly felt embarrassed at his question, but he couldn’t take it back.

The question didn’t seem to bother Anne. “No, why? Do you? Have a lady, I mean?”

“N-no. No lady.”

“Good.” Anne said casually. 

Kieran’s chest tightened. “W-why is that good?” he said with a nervous laugh.

Anne stopped what she was doing and looked at Kieran in the eyes. He fought the urge to look away and instead he held her gaze. “I think you know why.” She said with no expression on her face.

“I... I really don’t.” Kieran said nervously.

Anne chucked a bit to herself before resuming her task. Now it was her turn to be nervous. She avoided eye contact with him as she spoke. “Cause…that would make me jealous. The idea of someone else having you.”

Kieran’s face flushed red, he wanted to reciprocate his feelings, but he also didn’t want to push his luck and say the wrong thing, so he just decided to keep his mouth shut and watch her work quietly. Anne noticed his fixation on what she was doing. 

“You want me to teach you? It’s pretty easy once you do it a few times.” Anne asked

“Oh no, I wouldn’t be any good at that.” Kieran replied with a shrug. 

“It’s not too hard, I taught Arthur how to follow recipes, I think I could teach you. You ever make stuff like this before?”

“Not for people. Never.”

“Not for people?”

“I’ve made stuff for horses before, mostly stimulants.”

“Really? That’s impressive. Even I don’t know how to do that.”

 Kieran perked up, “Really? I can show you how to make some. Do you have any Burdock Root?”

“No I don’t… but I know where I can get some. The river near here usually has a bunch growing by the water.” Anne stood up and slung her bag around her shoulder. “You want to come with me and collect some?”

Kieran stood up with her. “Is-is that a good idea? Me…leaving camp?” 

“We’re not leaving camp. Not really. The river isn’t too far from here. If anyone calls for you, we’ll be able to hear it.”

Kieran was reluctant to leave, but his desire to spend more time with Anne won out and he followed her.

 ********************

It took them less than five minutes to make their way towards the river. When they got there Anne sat on the edge of riverbank and started to soak up the sun. Kieran remained focused on his task and started picking every bit of Burdock Root he could find. When his arms were full, he walked over to Anne and started placing the roots into her bag. Anne quickly grabbed him by the arm.

“Hey, come take a break with me for minute. I think you got plenty.” 

Kieran sat next to Anne and his muscles started to loosen in the peaceful surrounding.

“This is nice” Kieran said as he rolled up his sleeves a bit, letting the sun’s rays make more contact with his skin.

Anne couldn’t help but stare at Kieran’s arms before she casually eyed every bit of his body. He wasn’t conventionally attractive, but Anne couldn’t help but think that he was. She enjoyed every bit of time she got to spent with him, but part of her was craving more. She suspected that he might feel the same way, but he never made his feelings plain to her. She had been waiting for him to do something, anything, to show her that he had romantic intentions, but so far she was only met with embarrassed looks and flustered speech.

In her experience, men usually made the first move when it came to courtship, and women who took the initiative were seen as women of ill repute. She decided to pay that stigma no mind. She lived her whole life trying to subvert gender expectations in her field of study, so why not do it in romance as well?  Plus, she would be an old maid by the time Kieran would get around to making the first move.

“Hey Kieran?” Kieran turned to look at Anne as she worked up the courage to say what was on her mind. “Do you like this? Spending time with me?”

Kieran looked surprised by her question. “Course, I do. Are you kidding me? W-why do you ask?”

“Just making sure. Cause, I like spending time with you a lot.” Anne put her hand on his “I just want you to know that.”

Kieran’s expression became flustered as he struggled to form words. Anne figured this would happen and realized she would need to be more forward with him if she was ever going to get what she wanted. Anne sighed and put a hand on Kieran’s shoulder.

“Can I kiss you?” She asked bluntly.

Kieran’s eyes widened in surprised as a small smile began to form on his face. “Really? Y-you want that?”

_Yes. Clearly I do. Why else would I be asking you?_ Anne thought to herself.

Out of nowhere Kieran quickly put his mouth on hers. She was shocked by the sudden contact but was pleased nevertheless. She moved to put her arms around his neck to deepen the kiss. He was clumsy and slightly awkward with his kisses, so Anne figured it would be best for her to take the lead.

She moved from her spot on the ground and opted to get onto his lap to straddle him. Kieran moaned deeply as she got on top of him. She could feel that he had an erection growing in his pants, so Anne instinctively started to grind against it. Kieran moaned louder into her mouth, which gave her the courage to grab his hand and put it onto her breast. Kieran’s skin lit up at the contact and he started breathing heavily.

Anne wanted to take her shirt off so he could touch her underneath the fabric, but she wasn’t ready to break the kiss yet, plus his enthusiasm only encouraged her to keep grinding harder onto his erection. Just as she was about to move her hands down to his lap to free his cock from his pants, Kieran broke the kiss. Anne tried to put her mouth back onto his, but stopped when she saw that his eyes were screwed shut and he was moaning deeply under his breath.

“Kieran? You okay?”

Kieran slowly opened his eyes as he worked to catch his breath. “I’m fine. I’m s-sorry. I’m really sorry.”

“Sorry for what?” Just as Anne asked her question she realized that Kieran’s erection was gone and there was a wet spot in its place. Coupled with that, and the embarrassment growing on Kieran’s face, she concluded that he came in his pants.

Kieran looked mortified at what he had done and couldn’t make eye contact with Anne. She sensed his shame and put her hand onto his chin to force him to look at her. “Hey, what’s wrong? It’s okay.” 

“I-I didn’t mean to do that Miss Anne, I’m sorry.”

Anne shot him a confused look. “Why are you apologizing? It’s not a big deal” She said as she started to stroke his hair. “Don’t be sorry”

Kieran looked like he wanted to cry. He quickly put his arms around her and tucked his head into her neck. “I’m real embarrassed. Honestly, I haven’t done this a whole lot. So…I just… you know?”

“Hey…it happens to the best of us, don’t worry about it. Okay?” Anne placed a kiss onto Kieran’s forehead before getting up from his lap. She grabbed him by the hand and helped him onto his feet. “We should head back.”

Kieran looked down at the stain on his pants. “You go ahead. I think I better clean up a bit before I walk into camp." 

Anne gave Kieran a sly look. “You want some help with that?” 

Kieran let out a nervous laugh. “I mean, yes. But we’ve been gone a while and I don’t want anyone to get the wrong idea.”

“That’s probably a good idea.” Anne put her hand onto Kieran’s cheek. “But I do want to try this again sometime. Would you be interested in that sort of thing?”

Kieran’s heart skipped a beat. “Yes. I… I would. I-if you want.” 

“Okay good,” Anne put a kiss on his lips before walking off.

  ******************** 

Anne had a huge smile on her face the entire walk back. She wanted to give Kieran some privacy to clean up after their encounter, so she went ahead and told him to meet her back at the camp. Despite his quick finish, Anne was still grateful for the experience. Even though they never explicitly defined what their relationship was, the intimacy they just shared left Anne feeling much closer to him than before. Anne went to her tent to try and privately straighten out her clothes. While she was there, she took stock of her funds that she hid in her bedroll. She was running low on money. It made sense, considering she wasn’t planning on staying with the gang for longer than a few days.

The gang didn’t pay her for her services so she would have to go back to San Denis if she wanted to continue to make a living. In a perfect world, she could ask Kieran to come with her and he could stay with her in her apartment in the city. But they didn’t live in that world. In this world, Kieran needed the gang for protection. His life would forever be in danger as long as Colm O’Driscoll continued to draw breath. 

Anne wondered how long that would last. Dutch swore on his life that he would eventually kill Colm and she believed him. If Colm were dead, Kieran could safely leave the gang and possibly settle down with her if he wanted to. Even if Kieran didn’t want a future with her, she still wanted to set aside enough money so that he would be financially able to leave the gang and make it out on his own, when the time came.

Regardless of what he ends up choosing, he would need money, and to make money for him, Anne would have to go back to San Denis. As much as the idea of leaving Kieran hurt her, ensuring that he will have a good life after this was all over was more important.


	5. The (Shipped) Gold Standard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I want to scream "I love you" from the top of my lungs, but I'm afraid that someone else will hear me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning! There will be some light smut at the end of this chapter!

Kieran finished cleaning up in the river and made it back to camp just as the sun was setting. On the walk back to camp, he tried to shake off the embarrassment of what happened earlier. Anne was very gracious in handling the situation but regardless, he didn’t want it to happen again. He was determined to do better next time, but if he was being honest, he really didn’t know the first thing about pleasing a woman.

The idea of getting intimate again with Anne started to worry him. What if he makes a fool of himself, again? She was very understanding…this time around. If he keeps failing to satisfy her, would she get frustrated with him and want to stop trying? The thought was too much for him and he was starting to feel very stressed. Anne was a good person, and he felt like she deserved a feller who could please her, not someone who can’t be touched without finishing in his pants like a schoolboy. 

He was still deep in thought when he made his way over to Anne, who was sitting by the scout fire and eating a peach. Her face lit up when she saw him. “Hey, I was getting worried about you. You took a while getting back.”

“Sorry about that, I was just doin’ some thinking.”

“That’s okay,” Anne said with a smile “You want a peach? I have extra.” She took the fruit out of her bag and handed one to Kieran. 

“Thank you.” Kieran sat next to her and bit into the fruit, which instantly sprayed juice onto his shirt. He tried to wipe away the liquid quickly to save himself further embarrassment.

Anne didn’t seem to notice or care. She seemed too preoccupied with her own thoughts to notice Kieran’s feeble attempts to clean up his shirt. Kieran saw that she was deep in thought and he grew concerned that something was wrong. “Hey, is everythin’ alright?”

Anne snapped back to reality. “Oh yeah, sorry. I kind of lost myself for a second. Everything’s fine. It’s just…we should talk.”

Kieran’s froze. Those words terrified him.

“T-talk? Talk about what?”

Anne struggled to find her words. “It’s just that…I wasn’t planning on staying in camp for so long. Normally I just stop by to drop off supplies and make sure everyone’s healthy before leaving again. This has been longest I’ve ever stayed at camp before.”

“How come? Why do you have to leave so much?” 

“I have a somewhat permanent posting over in San Denis. I usually spend most of my time there for work.”

“Don’t you work for the gang?” 

“They don’t give me money. I treat people in camp for the experience. In San Denis, I almost never see things like gunshot wounds or a chance to practice my suturing skills. But in the gang, those things are plentiful. They provide me with a steady source of injuries, but not pay.”

“Couldn’t they afford to pay you though? Don’t they have enough money to share?”

“Maybe? Honestly, I don’t know. But, I wouldn’t accept it even if they offered.”

“Why not?” 

“I’m not an outlaw. I’m not meant for gang life. I couldn’t do it full time. I’m happy to help everyone here, but I need to make my living honestly.”

What she was saying made sense, he didn’t feel cut out for gang life either so he understood her desire to make an honest living, but Kieran still felt unhappy with the idea of her being away. 

“How long will you be gone?” Kieran replied as casually as he could. 

“Last time I was gone for a few months, but- “

“A few months?” Kieran interjected with a small amount of panic in his voice. He couldn’t bear the thought of not seeing her for that long.

“It won’t be that long. I was only gone for so long the last time cause the gang was holed in that snowy mountain camp, Colter... Sorry. I know that’s where they kidnapped you.”

Colter felt like ages ago. Kieran thought he was going to freeze to death out there. He’s so glad that he didn’t or else he never would have met Anne. But now she was leaving. “I don’t think I’ll survive a few months without you.”

“It won’t be that long, I promise. I’ll stay just long enough so I can make enough money to last me for a while. Then I’ll come back.” 

Kieran still felt unsure about all of this. He already was feeling anxious over his sexual prowess and the last thing he wanted was for Anne to leave on a note of sexual disappointment. Kieran sighed hard. Anne seemed to sense his reluctance. She got up from the ground and extended her hand out to him. 

“Want to take a walk with me?” she asked gently.

 *********************

Anne led Kieran to a secluded spot in the forest not too far from camp. The sun had set a while ago and the pitch-black darkness made gauging Kieran’s facial expressions virtually impossible. She knew how disappointed he was by her news and she wanted to ease any of his concerns. Anne leaned against a tree and soaked up the cool night air. It was a beautiful night and Anne wanted Kieran to enjoy it with her.

“I’m going to miss you, you know?” Anne said as she took Kieran’s hands into hers. 

“I’m gonna miss you too. But that’s not what I’m most worried about.” Kieran said quietly. 

“What are you worried about?”

“We ain’t really known each other that long, and only time we really got to be intimate, I ruined it. I just don’t want that to be your last memory of me.”

“Last memory? Don’t say that, we’re going to make more.”

“I mean last memory for a while.” Kieran said lacking confidence in his voice.

Anne had no idea that Kieran felt this way. She wanted to reassure him that there was very little he could do to change her feelings about him. She had already started falling for him since the day she offered to poison him. But if he was truly concerned with her leaving on a high note, she knew exactly how to do that.

She quickly closed the gap between her and Kieran. She put her arms around his neck and pushed her mouth onto his. Kieran put his arms around her in return and deepened the kiss. Anne put her tongue into his mouth and Kieran moaned in response. Kieran’s growing erection was already starting to prod her leg.

Anne didn’t want to waste any time. She didn’t care if he came within seconds of entering her, she wanted to feel him inside her before she left. She quickly unbuttoned his pants to free his cock. She could feel Kieran’s heartbeat increase as she put her hand on it. He gasped at her touch and instinctively started pumping his cock into her hand. Anne quickly released her grip on him in an attempt to keep his orgasm at bay while she worked on lifting her skirt. 

Kieran grabbed Anne’s face and looked into her eyes. “I-I just want you to know…I’m so glad it’s with you.” 

Anne’s face was flushed with need. “So glad what’s with me?”

Kieran had embarrassment in his voice. “I… ain’t really done this before. S-so, I’m just glad that the first time that I’m doin’ this is with you, that-that’s all.”

Anne was surprised with Kieran’s remark. “Wait, so are you saying that…you’ve never been with a woman before?”

“N-not really. It just never happened for me.” Kieran said nervously. “Is that bad?”

“No…of course not.” Anne said quietly. There wasn’t anything wrong with it, in fact she would be honored to be his first, but she wasn’t too sure about the setting they were in. Kieran was a good guy, he deserved better than to have his first time within earshot of people who have relentlessly tortured him while leaning up against a dirty tree. 

Kieran noticed how quiet she had gotten. “Are you mad?”

“Absolutely not, it’s just, maybe we should wait. I want you so badly, but I just think we should do this right. We should be doing this somewhere more private. Does that make sense?” 

Kieran seemed slightly disappointed. “I guess. Whatever you think is best.” 

Anne was happy that Kieran agreed, but she could still sense his arousal. His cock was still rock hard and it was starting to throb with need. A coy grin formed on Anne’s face. She put her hand onto his shaft and started stroking it lightly.

Kieran was fighting back moans. “What are you doin’? I thought you was wanting to wait.”

Anne put her lips to Kieran’s ear. “I do... But I need something tonight.” Anne tightened her grip on his cock. “Can I put my mouth on you?”

Anne got on her knees and placed her face right in front of his throbbing head. Precum was starting to leak out of the tip, Anne wanted to lick it off, but Kieran hadn’t given her an answer yet. 

“Y-you sure? You-you really want to do that?” 

“I’ve been wanting this for a while now.”

“If-f you’re sure. Then-then…yes”

That’s all she needed to hear. Anne immediately put her mouth onto his cock and started sucking up every bit of precum that was leaking from his head. Kieran loudly cried out at the sensation but thankfully he had enough common sense to put his hand over his mouth to muffle the sounds of his pleasure.

Kieran wasn’t particularly well endowed, which made placing his entire cock into her mouth an easy task. Kieran fought for breath as she slid her mouth down to the base and back up to the tip with ease. 

He wasn’t going to last long at this rate and he wanted to warn her of his impending orgasm. “I-I’m so…close.”

He pulled back to try and take his cock out of her mouth before he finished but Anne grabbed his hips tightly so he couldn’t pull out in time. He shot his hot loads of cum straight into her mouth. He tightened his grip over his mouth to try and stifle the desperate sounds he was making. He didn’t know it was possible to feel that good.

Anne got up from her knees and pulled his pants up for him. She put her arms around his neck and whispered into his ear “How was that? Did you like it?”

“You’re kiddin’ me, right?” Kieran put his arms around her and placed a kiss on the top of her head. “That was amazin’”

“Yeah? Let’s do it more often then. When I get back.”

Kieran’s mood deflated slightly at the reminder that she was leaving. Anne didn’t want to tell him that her trip to San Denis was all for him. He would probably object to the idea of her going through so much effort for his sake and she didn’t want him to fight the issue.

“You okay?” Anne asked gently.

Kieran tried to hide his sadness in his voice. “Just goin’ to miss you. That’s all.” 

“I’m going to miss you, too.” She replied gently. Anne kissed him on the cheek and tightened her embrace around him before looking up at the sky. “So many stars tonight.”

“It’s pretty…” said Kieran. He wasn’t looking at the sky, though. He was only looking at her.

 

 

 


	6. 20 Dollar Nose Bleed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Singing vows before we exchange smoke rings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has stuck with the story so far!

Kieran and Anne decided to say goodbye to each other that night in the forest near camp. They weren’t entirely comfortable with the rest of the gang knowing about what was going on between the two of them. Anne valued her privacy and Kieran wanted to keep their relationship a secret out of fear for her safety. He knew the gang didn’t fully trust him and there was always a possibility that they may one day decide to turn on him. He didn’t want Anne to appear guilty by association, so they decided it would be best to keep their budding romance a secret.

They embraced one last time and shared a tender kiss before making their way back to camp. The rest of the camp was mostly asleep, which made slipping into their separate bedrolls an easy task. Sleeping would prove to be more challenging as they both were craving each other’s company as the night went on. 

Anne woke up early to pack up her things and to prepare for the long day of traveling ahead of her. Just as she was ready to head out, Kieran emerged from his tent. They were both the first ones awake. Anne looked at Kieran without expression in her face. Even though no one was awake to catch them sharing a tender moment, they decided not to risk it. Kieran nodded causally at Anne before she turned to leave. Watching her leave was more painful than all the weeks of starvation he faced in Colter.

*********************

Anne made it back to San Denis before the day was over. She forgot how congested the city was and she struggled to acclimate back to city living. She planned on working intensely for a week or so before returning to the camp. It wouldn’t be possible for her to reach her savings goal in a week, but she would much rather take a few short trips away from Kieran than to be gone for months at a time.

Anne rolled up her sleeves and tied back her hair in a symbolic way to remind herself of her task ahead.

*********************

Kieran survived his first day without Anne surprisingly well. He focused on his work and kept to himself. As the sun was about set, he heard riders coming into the camp. Charles and Javier had left earlier that day for a mission and returned victorious. They brought with them an Irish guy that Kieran had never seen before. All the gang members seemed overjoyed to see him and Kieran concluded that he was a missing member finally reunited with the rest. 

The gang remained in high spirits for the entire evening and they started to celebrate. Dutch and Molly danced to their record player while the other members drank copious amounts of alcohol. Kieran didn’t feel comfortable joining in the festivities, so he remained away from the action and kept to himself. 

He noticed Arthur and Mary-Beth join Dutch and Molly in dancing to the music. Kieran never danced with a woman before and he wondered if Anne would ever want to do that with him.

*********************

Anne was only planning on staying in San Denis for a week, but that one week quickly turned to two. She was getting anxious to leave but the promise of more work kept her around longer than she anticipated. She was making decent money, but not enough to satisfy her savings goal. She considered staying for longer, but a visit from John Marston derailed her plans.

John was waiting for her outside the doctor’s office in San Denis. He told her that the gang was involved in a shootout in Valentine and that Herr Strauss had been shot. Anne almost collapsed at the news. Strauss was not involved in the gang’s gunslinging ways and he mostly stayed in camp to manage the gang’s finances, because of this, Anne was convinced that something bad had happened to camp.

“John, I don’t understand. How did something happen to Strauss? Was the camp attacked?” Anne asked with panic in her voice.

“No. No, Anne. Nothing like that. The camp is fine. Strauss just so happened to be in Valentine with us when he caught the bullet. To be honest, I’m not even sure if we need your help, but Strauss won’t stop moaning about needing medical attention.”

Anne relaxed a bit, she was grateful that nothing happened to the camp and Kieran wasn’t in danger. “Is he in bad shape?" 

“Not really. It ain’t even a scratch, but with the way he’s moaning, you’d think he’s dying. Everyone thought it’d best if you came back to take a look at him before we try to move him.” 

“Move him?”

“Oh yeah, I guess no one told you. We’re leaving. After all that mess in Valentine? There’s no way we can stay. We’re looking for a new place to set up camp. Hopefully somewhere far enough from Valentine and them Pinkertons." 

“Pinkertons? What Pinkertons?”

*********************

Kieran was trying to make these two weeks without Anne go as fast as possible. It didn’t help that the recently rescued gang member, who Kieran learned was named Sean, did not like him very much. He frequently taunted him, more so than the other gang members and even head-butted him once for no reason. Kieran missed Anne greatly and he wondered when she would be coming back.

The gang seemed busier than usual. Dutch announced to the group that they were moving soon and they were looking for a new place to set up camp. Kieran was relieved that they were leaving the heart of O’Driscoll territory and wondered if they would settle somewhere safer for him. He couldn’t help but be worried about reconnecting with Anne. If the gang was planning on leaving to a new location, he worried how she would find them. Kieran was dismayed at the idea that moving could delay Anne’s return to him.

*********************

Anne made John wait for her as she packed up almost everything she had. She wasn’t planning on returning to San Denis for a long time. Her plans had to be changed, since her priority was no long making money, but instead staying in camp full time. The idea that Pinkertons were hot on the gang’s trail made Anne more than concerned. What would be the point of making money for Kieran if he just ends up captured and hanged as an outlaw?

Anne didn’t know what she could do to protect him from such a fate, but getting back to him seemed like the logical first step. Before they left, Anne made her intention to remain in camp known to John. He seemed suspicious about her motivations for wanting to staying with the camp full-time and he kept badgering her with questions about her decision on the entire ride back to camp.

“Since when are you such a big fan of Leopold Strauss?” John asked almost sarcastically.

“I’m not. What do you mean?” Anne could barely focus on what John was saying. She just wanted to get back to Kieran.

“I mean he suddenly gets shot and now you got your mind set on staying with us full time? I thought you _valued your independence_ or whatever you said the first time Dutch asked you to join us?”

“I still do.” Anne said flatly. “It’s just…things have changed.”

“In what way?” John asked curiously

Anne didn’t mean for those words to slip out. She tried to correct herself. “I only meant that people have been dying. You guys have lost people in my absence. Now more people are getting shot…Pinkertons are closer than ever. It’s just different, you know?”

“Makes sense.” Her answer seemed to satisfy John’s curiosity. “Anyways, it’ll be good to have you around more often. People in our line of work can always use a doctor on call.”

Anne sighed. She was relieved that John didn’t suspect that she had other reasons for wanting to stay. But now it was her turn to get curious. John had a wife and son, wasn’t he worried about their futures?

“Hey John?” Anne asked gently.

“Yeah?”

“What are you planning on doing now? If you feel like things are getting dangerous, do you ever think about taking your family elsewhere? Somewhere safer?”

John seemed to dislike Anne’s question. “Not really. Where would I go? There isn’t anywhere much safer than with Dutch. He takes care of me and my family. Why do you ask?”

“No reason, I was just curious.” Anne replied casually. 

John’s answer surprised her. He seemed dead set on staying with Dutch for the long haul, and Anne wondered if Kieran felt similarly. She always thought the safest thing for Kieran would be for him to leave the gang eventually. Then again, they never really talked about the future at length and Anne was forced to speculate. But if John was willing to bet his family’s safety on Dutch’s plan, then Anne figured she should at least remain open to the possibility of doing the same.

*********************

She and John had been riding for what felt like ages. It was dark out when they finally saw the camp in the distance. Anne heart raced at the anticipation of seeing Kieran again. When they arrived back at camp, everyone was hard at work packing up their things for the move. Anne saw Kieran at the corner of her eye and it took every ounce of willpower for her to not run directly into his arms. But she couldn’t resist smiling at him and he returned her warmness with a smile of his own. 

Their moment was quickly interrupted by the moans of Leopold Strass. John was right, he was over exaggerating his symptoms greatly. Anne rushed over to him and examined his gunshot wound. The bullet missed all the major arteries in his leg, but it was still lodged in his thigh pretty deep. Anne knew she had to take it out. She called for Kieran to help her. 

“Hey O’Driscoll! Get over here and make yourself useful!” Anne demanded.

Kieran seemed slightly hurt at Anne’s tone, but he made his way to her anyways. When he got there, Anne was injecting a sedative into Strauss’s thigh, which slowly started to knock him out. Anne gestured for Kieran to sit next to her. She waited until Strauss was unconscious before she spoke to him.

“I’m sorry for the way I called you over. I just wanted to talk to you. I missed you so much.” Anne whispered to Kieran. 

“It’s okay. I missed you too.” he whispered back.

Anne worked to remove the bullet from Strauss before expertly cleaning the wound and bandaging it up. Strauss was still unconscious from the heavy dose of sedative she gave him and everyone else was still distracted with packing up.

Anne made sure nobody was looking before discreetly putting a kiss on Kieran’s forehead. Anne felt so much better to be by Kieran’s side again. It didn’t matter that she was sitting in the dirt, covered in the blood from a gunshot wound, with the law breathing down everyone’s neck. As long as she was next to Kieran, she felt at home.


	7. The Take Over, the Breaks Over

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We do it in the dark with smiles on our faces. We're dropped and well concealed in secret places.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has been reading it so far! I hope everyone is continuing to like it! Thank you again to everyone who has left kudos and comments, they really mean a lot to me!

Arthur and Charles went scouting for somewhere new to set up camp. They found a place called Clemens Point that was suitable for the gang to take residence in near the town of Rhodes. Anne hated to move somewhere so deep in the South. She couldn’t stand the hot climate and she worried about how the humidity would start to affect her hair.

Setting up a new camp took a lot of work. Anne had never been around long enough to be with the gang through a move and she struggled with all the required manual labor. She felt slightly out of place in camp, since Miss Grimshaw made it clear to her that she didn’t hold Anne to the same standards as she did for the other ladies. She respected Anne’s talents for medicine and wanted her to focus healing folks rather than doing camp chores. This didn’t sit right with Anne since she wouldn’t have patients every day and there was plenty of work to go around. She did as much chores as she could to help the gang settle into their new home quicker.

The increased workload made having alone time with Kieran virtually impossible. He was working a mile a minute trying to help everyone unpack their belongings. She thought it was sweet that he was willing to work so hard, but part of her wished he could take a moment to spend some time with her. Not to mention, the forests near their new camp weren’t as dense as the forest surrounding Horseshoe Overlook, which would make having intimate moments with him more difficult as well.

It had been days before everyone was finally settled. Kieran had set up another scout fire in this new camp and Anne spent most of her time there. She was crafting some medicine when Kieran finally came up to her. It had been a while since they last spoke, which created some awkwardness between them.

“Hey” he said almost nervously. “W-what are you up to?”

“Just crafting some medicine. The closest town to here is Rhodes and it doesn’t even have a doctor.” Anne said frustrated. “I would hate if I have to go all the way to San Denis every time I need supplies”

“Plus, y-you just got back from there.” Kieran said with concern in his voice. “You ain’t leavin’ again, are you?" 

“Nope. I’m staying put a while. I can’t be away from you that long, again.” 

Kieran’s face perked up at Anne comment. 

“You mean it?”

“Yes. But the problem is, my supply runs are going to take longer than usual. Since I’m going to have to travel further for everything I need.”

“Speakin’ of which…”

“What?”

Kieran looked around awkwardly. “I hate to even ask. But it’s the horses. They’ve been through so much and I’m worried. I think they’re bound to get real sick unless I get them some medicine. Do you think you could get some for me?”

“I think the doctor in San Denis could help you. He makes medicine for horses, but I wouldn’t know what to look for. I don’t know the first thing about treating horses. Do you know the name of the medicine you need?”

“N-not really. I was hoping I could describe to you their symptoms and you can tell that to the doctor.”

“I mean I can try, but I may end up bringing back the wrong thing. I wouldn’t want to accidently make them sicker.”

“That-that’s okay. I’m sure I can make somethin’ for them with the herbs you find.” Kieran clearly looked disappointed at Anne’s response. He cared deeply for the horses and Anne could see how worried he was. She knew that he wouldn’t be satisfied until they were given the best care possible.

“It would be nice if you could just go with me and talk to the doctor yourself. That way you can better describe the symptoms that are plaguing the horses and he can get you exactly what you need.”

“Yeah that would be nice…” Kieran said thoughtfully 

“Maybe we should.”

“Should what? Leave c-camp?”

“Yeah. Obviously not for a long time. Just a quick trip to San Denis. We could leave in the morning and take the train from Rhodes. Plus, we aren’t really in O’Driscoll territory anymore, we’re in Lemoyne now.”

“That’s true…C-colm don’t usually put men this far East. Since, this is Lemoyne raider territory and all.”

“Also, I have an apartment in San Denis. Right above the doctor’s office. We could stay there for the night so we wouldn’t have to travel in the dark. It would be safer that way.” 

Kieran looked like he was thinking about Anne’s proposition seriously. Anne could tell that he was nervous at the idea of being away from the protection of the gang, but he seemed to be rationalizing the idea in his head.

“Okay. Let’s do it.” Kieran said nervously. 

Anne was overjoyed.

***************

Kieran was nervous telling Dutch his intention of leaving camp for a day. He was worried that Dutch would say no, but Anne convinced him, by vouching for Kieran and promising to hold him accountable. He couldn’t help but think that the only reason Dutch agreed to let them go was out of concern for his horse, The Count. Dutch loved that horse and Anne was aware of that. She made it seem like The Count’s life could potentially be in danger if Kieran didn’t get medicine, which wasn’t exactly the truth, but he didn’t bother correcting her.

As a form of extra precaution, Anne asked Arthur to escort them to the train station. Anne offered to pay him for his trouble, which he initially refused. When Anne showed him the necklace she was willing to give to him in exchange for her services, he quickly changed his tune. Arthur then took Anne aside and spoke to her privately. They were out of earshot, so Kieran couldn’t hear what he was telling her. Anne didn’t share any details of the conversation and Kieran didn’t want to pry, so he didn’t bother asking about it.   

Kieran was excited about the idea of spending some alone time Anne, but he couldn’t help but be nervous at the same time. He worried that he would somehow run into the O’Driscolls and they would kill him and hurt Anne in the process. But Anne seemed so excited about going that he couldn’t say no. She had done so much for him already and he wanted to work on repaying the favor. 

They woke up bright and early the next day to catch the first train to San Denis. Kieran had almost no reason to be concerned on their ride to the train station.  There was hardly anyone around this early in the morning let alone O’Driscolls. Arthur’s presence was hardly necessary, but Anne seemed insistent on playing it safe. Arthur dropped them off at the train station and reminded them what time he would be picking them up tomorrow.

Before leaving Arthur shouted at the Anne, “Miss Anne. You best remember what we talked about yesterday.”

“Got it!” Anne said casually before walking into the station.

They were a bit early for the train, so Anne took a seat in the waiting area and Kieran sat next to her. He couldn’t hold his curiosity back any longer. “So, what was that about? W-what did you and Arthur talk about the other day?” 

“Nothing, Arthur was just wondering why we would be risking so much for some horse medicine.”

“And…? What did you tell him?”

“I told him…that I felt bad that you were stuck in camp for so long and how the horses do really need supplies, and I figured it was a good opportunity to let you leave camp for a bit. He seemed to believe me.”

“He didn’t suspect nothing?”

“He did at first. He accused me of being sweet on you, which I denied. He started talking to me about the dangers of getting romantically involved with outlaws, but then he started laughing in my face. He told me he realized how ridiculous it was to accuse me of something like that.”

“Why did he say that?”

Anne looked away from him. “I don’t want to say.”

“Tell me!” Kieran insisted.

Anne sighed. “He told me that I was too smart to get romantic with an outlaw, and how there would be no way that I would risk so much for a guy like you.”

Kieran grew upset at what Arthur said about him, but he couldn’t argue with what he was saying. Anne came from a respectable family and was talented in her own right. She could leave the gang behind at any time and be able to continue life with ease. Unlike him, who grew up with nothing and got caught up with the outlaw life for survival. He wondered what kind of future a guy like him could ever offer a girl like Anne.

“See? This is why I didn’t want to tell you. It was really mean, and totally untrue.” Anne said breaking the silence. “I would risk everything for a guy like you.”

Anne's words comforted him. He was happy that she felt that way, but he secretly wondered if she would ever change her mind.  

When they got on the train, Anne sat close to him and she put her head on his shoulder. The bit of insecurity that Kieran faced back at the station started to fade. They missed each other a lot and it had been stressful for them to not be able to show it. Having Anne be so affectionate in front of other people felt strange, but Kieran enjoyed every second of it.

Kieran had never been to San Denis before and he was taken aback by the size of the buildings. The city was crowded and smelled strange, but this was Anne’s home, so he refrained from saying anything negative. Anne took them to the doctor’s office where Kieran was able to get what he needed for the horses. The trip to the doctor took a lot shorter than they had anticipated, and Kieran worried that Anne would want to take the train back to Rhodes while it was still bright out.

Anne seemed just as eager to stay in town as he was. She took him to her apartment above the doctor’s office and shut the door behind her. It was a decently sized place with a plush looking bed in the middle of the room. Kieran hasn’t slept in a bed since he was a boy, and he grew excited at the idea of lying in one again. Anne noticed him eyeing her bed and a sly look formed on her face. 

“What do you think of my apartment?” Anne asked

“It’s nice. Real nice.” Kieran said as he looked around the room. He walked over to her bed and put his hands onto the sheets. The material felt expensive and soft to the touch. 

“You like the bed?” Anne asked casually.

“Sure. I ain’t been in a bed in a long time.” Kieran said, totally oblivious to what Anne was hinting at.

Anne sighed. She got close to Kieran and put her hands on his shoulders. “Want to try it out?”


	8. America's Suitehearts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You could have knocked me out with a feather

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Smut warning! This chapter is basically entirely smut, with a bit of fluff at the end!

Kieran looked at Anne blankly.

“Do you want to try it out?” Anne asked again.

“What-what do you mean?” Kieran asked. He had a sense of what she was hinting at, but he didn’t want to make assumptions.

Anne started kissing his neck. “Remember the night before I left camp? We were about to do something…but I stopped us, because I wanted it to be special?”

Kieran’s chest tightened with anticipation. “Y-yeah?”

“I was thinking we could pick up where we left off. What do you think?”

Kieran felt his mouth go dry. “I…w-would like that. If y-you want that…” 

Anne put her mouth onto his and kissed him hard. Kieran still wasn’t used to being so physical with a woman and he tried kissing her back the best her could. He had a little bit of experience in kissing, but he still didn’t consider himself to be an expert. He just tried his best to mimic what she was doing.

He could feel himself get hard at Anne’s touch and he hoped that he would be able to last longer this time around. Who was he kidding? The anticipation of finally being with a woman made his cock much more sensitive than usual. He felt like he could cum at just the idea of being inside of her. Anne seemed to sense how worked up he was getting, which made her pull away from him.

“I have an idea.” Anne said while eyeing the very obvious tent in his pants. “I think we should take the edge off a bit before we do this.”

“What do you m-mean?” Kieran said with desperation in his voice. He had dreamed of this moment ever since the night in the forest. 

Anne reached into Kieran’s pants and started to palm his erection in her hand. Kieran groaned loudly at the sensation. She put her lips to his ear. “I’m going to make you cum, okay? After that, I’m going to put you on the bed and then I’m going to teach you how to make _me_ cum. Got it?”

Kieran’s eyes screwed shut at the pleasure of Anne’s touch. Her hand felt so good against his cock and her words were only turning him on more. “Yes. I-I want to m-make you feel good…too.” Kieran managed to stutter out between moans. He was close.

Anne pushed Kieran’s pants down around his ankles and got on her knees. She put her mouth onto his cock and started sucking him rapidly. That was all Kieran needed to push him over the edge. He spilled his cum deep into her mouth as he groaned with pleasure. Anne sucked up every last bit from his cock. She got up from her knees and looked at Kieran in the eyes. 

“Bed. Now.” She demanded. “It’s my turn”

***********************

Kieran got onto Anne’s bed as quickly as he could. Anne worked to remove her clothing from her body. She turned her back to Kieran and asked him to help her unlace her corset. Kieran seemed eager, yet unsure how to do so. He worked with shaking fingers to remove the laces from the grommets. Kieran was breathing so deeply that Anne could feel his breath on the back of her neck.

“How’s it going?” Anne asked.

“Almost…d-done” Kieran’s voice was filled with anticipation. 

It had just occurred to Anne that he had never really seen her body before. She started to get a bit nervous about undressing in front of him. She worried that he had built his expectations too high and that he would be ultimately disappointed with her body. Anne fought her shyness and turned around to face him. She put her lips onto his and worked to remove her corset without breaking their kiss. When Kieran noticed that she was slipping off the garment, he immediately pulled away from her so he could see her exposed breasts.

Kieran eyed her chest greedily. He was staring at them so intently, that Anne started to grow uncomfortable with the attention.

“You can touch me, you know?” Anne remarked shyly.

Kieran hesitantly put his hands over her breasts. His breathing stuttered when his hands made contact with her skin. He held them there, unmoving, unsure what to do next. Anne worked to remove her skirt and the last bits of her clothing. She was completely naked now, and she guided Kieran to lay down on the bed with her.

“Give me your hand” Anne said softly.

Kieran put his hand into hers before she guided him between her legs. She was already wet and she started stroking his fingers into her folds. Kieran moaned at the sensation of touching her.

“You’re…s-so wet.” Kieran said breathlessly.

“That’s cause of you.” Anne said with gasp, “You’re making me wet”

“R-really?” Kieran said unsure of himself.

Anne started guiding his fingers into her slick entrance. She slipped two of his fingers inside of her and moved his hand to a rhythm that felt good for her.

“That feels so good.” Anne said between moans. Anne took her hand off Kieran’s and let him touch her freely. “Just like that. Keep doing that.”

Kieran was very good at following directions and kept the rhythm that Anne established with her hand. Anne knew that he would make an excellent lover with enough practice. He was making her feel amazing and with no time, she was getting close. She noticed that Kieran’s cock was starting to get hard again, so she pulled his hand away from her.

“W-what’s wrong? Was I not doing…it r-right?” Kieran asked with concern.

Anne kissed him tenderly. “You were doing really well. I was just so close to finishing. I would rather cum with you inside of me, that’s all.” 

Kieran’s eyes widened with anticipation. “Y-you mean…you’re ready to…? You want me-me to…" 

Anne put her hands on his shoulders. “If you want to. Only if you feel ready” 

Kieran cleared his throat. “I’ve wanted this-this for a real…long time. I’m just glad I’m doing this w-with you.”

Anne removed the last bit of Kieran’s clothing before laying down on her back. Kieran nervously got on top her. Anne lined up his cock with her entrance. She was soaking wet after all the pleasure Kieran gave her with his hand, which made sliding himself into her an easy task. Kieran’s breath stopped as he plunged into her for the first time. His eyes were screwed shut at the sensation. He seemed so overwhelmed by the simple act of entering her that he stayed still for a second just to bring himself back to reality.  

“Oh…” Kieran said as he worked to catch his breath. “That f-feels so…good”

“Keep going. Don’t worry about lasting long. I don’t care how quickly you finish. I just want to feel you spill inside of me” Anne said breathlessly.

They had both been wanting this for a while now, and the feeling of finally connecting in this way was incredible. Kieran slowly started thrusting inside of Anne. She was already about to cum before he even put his cock in her and his slow movements were enough to take her over the edge. She grabbed the back of his head and pushed it down to hers, connecting their lips together. She started moaning into his mouth and she tightened her grip on him as she felt herself come undone.

She pulled back from the kiss and looked at him in the eye. “Don’t stop. Oh my god, don’t stop” she cried out. 

“Are you…?” Kieran asked between gasps.

“Yes! You’re making me cum” Anne cried out.

That was all it took for Kieran to cum too. He was already worked up from seeing Anne’s body for the first time and seeing her face in pure ecstasy was too much for him to handle. He spilled deep inside of her with a loud moan. He put his forehead on hers as he worked to catch his breath.

“Thank y-you…for l-letting me do that-that.” 

Anne couldn’t help but laugh. “Don’t thank me! I wanted it just as much as you.”

“Still…I-I never thought it would b-be so good”

Kieran pulled his cock out of Anne and moved to lay beside her. She pulled her sheets over the two of them. It was still pretty early in the day, and Anne was hoping she didn’t tire him out too much. They weren’t going to get a lot of chances for alone time, so Anne wanted to make the most out of the trip. She turned so that she was facing him. He looked very satisfied with how everything turned out. Anne couldn’t help but smile at him. Kieran turned to look at her and he smiled back.

“I…l love you.” He said softly.

“What?” Anne asked.

***********************

Kieran’s face flushed red with embarrassment. Why did he say that? He was so caught up in the emotion of losing his virginity that it just slipped out. He definitely meant it, but he knew that it was the wrong time to say it. They haven’t known each other for that long and he worried that he was being too forward. Kieran wanted to take it back, but it was too late. He had no choice but to let his words linger in the air.

Anne looked at him without much expression in her face. He couldn’t get a read on what she was thinking and it made shake with nervousness.

“I’m sorry.” Kieran said quickly. 

“Sorry for what?” Anne asked without emotion in her voice. “Did you not mean it?”

Kieran wasn’t sure how to answer. He didn’t want to lie, he meant what he said, but he wished he hadn’t said it so soon to her. They technically weren’t even a couple or anything, which made his statement feel all the more inappropriate.  

“I…I meant it. But I d-didn’t mean to say it just now…I’m-I’m real…sorry.”

Kieran felt like an idiot. He had a really good thing going with Anne and he worried that he just messed it all up. Anne thought for a moment before making eye contact with him again. A small smile grew on her face.

“I love you, too.” Anne said quietly.

Kieran was positive that he misheard her. There was absolutely no way in his mind that someone like her could ever be in love with him.

“What did you say?”

“I said that I love you back.”

Kieran was in shock. “Y-you mean it?” 

Anne looked at Kieran seriously. “Ever since you came to camp, I couldn’t help but be drawn to you. I’ve felt strongly about you for a while now and maybe…we said it a bit earlier than I was hoping…but…I still mean it. I love you Kieran Duffy.”

Kieran felt his soul leave his body. A small tear formed in his eye. He never thought that something like this would ever happen for him. Kieran wasn’t sure what to say. He didn’t bother trying to form words at this point and instead he just let himself enjoy the moment.


	9. Hum Hallelujah

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are the dreamer, and we are the dream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has read the story so far! 
> 
> There isn't much information on Kieran's backstory, but there was a random camp encounter that I saw in my playthrough that had him talking to Sean by the campfire. He went into a bit of detail about his past and that's where I got most of my info from and everything else was just speculation from me. If I can find a clip of the encounter, I'll add it in the notes. 
> 
> Also, smut warning! There will be smut at the end of the chapter!

Anne reminded Kieran how early in the day it still was. She told him about all the fun things to do in San Denis, but neither of them desired to leave the bed. Anne felt slightly strange about everything that happened between the two of them so far. She took his virginity and established they loved each other, but not much else. They have yet to talk about what they were intending to do in the future. Was Kieran planning on staying with Dutch forever? Or did he have ambitions outside of the gang?

Anne pulled her bedsheets up over herself in an attempt to cover her naked body. She wanted to have a serious conversation with Kieran and thought it would be best to minimize distractions. Anne was curious about what Kieran thought about all of this, and she wondered if he was intending on making an honest woman out of her someday. Anne cringed at the idea of asking that question plainly, so she opted for a more indirect route. 

“So…how long are you planning on staying with Dutch?”

Kieran looked like he was lost in thought “Hm? Oh, I don’t really know. Forever…I guess. I can’t exactly leave, not without fear of gettin’ killed.” 

“Colm O’Driscoll won’t be alive forever. Dutch plans on killing him…eventually. Have you ever thought about what you would want to do after Colm dies?”

“I haven’t gave it much thought.” Kieran said looking up at the ceiling. “It would depend on what you plan on doing.”

“Me? What do you mean?”

“I want to go wherever you go. If...you l-let me.” Kieran said shyly. “What about you? You ain’t exactly a part of the gang. Not really. You plan on ‘coming an outlaw?”

Anne thought for a moment. She never really considered her place in the gang. She wasn’t an official member or anything despite how long she’s known them. She never took her role in the gang too seriously and she never gave much thought to how things would end up for her. Anne always figured that the gang would either disband someday or end up settling down somewhere she couldn’t follow.

“I don’t know. I always thought that I would stay with them until I couldn’t anymore. But now that I met you…I don’t know. Things have changed.” Anne said with a smile. 

Kieran looked happy that Anne was considering him when it came to planning for her future. “So if Colm’s dies…you’d want to leave with me? Then what? Where would we go?” 

“ _When_ Colm dies…we can go…wherever we want. Though, it would be nice if I could still visit the gang from time to time. I do care about them. I couldn’t leave forever without checking in from time to time. Just to make sure they’re okay.”

“I understand. We can stay close to ‘em if you want.”

“Really, that’s surprising. I would’ve thought you would want to get as far away from them as possible.”

“How come?”

“I don’t know, just cause of all the grief they give you sometimes.”

“They ain’t all bad. I think some of them may be starting to warm to me.”

“Really? That’s good. Like who?” 

“I think… Arthur? He likes to taunt me, but I do think he’s grateful that I saved his life and all. Also, Mary-Beth has always been nice to me. She even started teaching me to read when you was away.”

Anne held back a scoff. Mary-Beth was always nice to Kieran, and she was grateful for that. But she also sensed that Mary-Beth might have feelings for him, which couldn’t help but make Anne a bit jealous. 

“I’m glad to hear it.” Anne managed to choke out. Kieran didn’t seem to notice the jealousy in Anne’s voice. 

Anne cleared her throat before trying to get their conversation back on track. “So…have you ever thought about what you’d like to do…once you leave the outlaw life behind?” 

Kieran thought for a moment. “I’m not sure…I don’t know if I’d be much good at anythin’.” Kieran said with insecurity in his voice. “I ain’t talented like you.”

Anne looked at Kieran. “That’s not true. You’re good with horses. Have you ever thought about working for a stable someday?”

“I worked for a stable once, when I was a boy. When they threw me out, I was left with nowhere to go. I was all alone, and I didn’t know what to do. I wouldn’t want to go through all that again.” Kieran said with shame on his face. 

Anne felt bad for making the suggestion. She wasn’t intending on bringing up painful memories, but she couldn’t help but get curious. There was still a lot about him that she didn’t know. She put her body close to Kieran’s. He put his arm around her and held her tightly.

“Where were your parents?” Anne asked softly.

“They got sick and…died. I was real young when it happened.” Kieran’s eyes got moist when he talked about his parents, but he didn’t shed any tears.

“I’m so sorry.” Anne said in almost a whisper.

“I was on my own for a long time, and I got caught up with some outlaws. They were decent fellers, but they were killed by Colm’s boys. That’s when I fell in with the O’Driscolls. I didn’t really have a choice but to join ‘em.”

“That must have been so difficult.” Anne said with empathy in her voice. “I’m sorry you went through all of that.” 

“It was real lonely…but I’m here with you now…so…” Kieran face was red. 

Anne was surprised that Kieran still got nervous sharing his feelings with her. After everything they had done together, she assumed he would start getting more comfortable around her. Instead, he still stammered around her like it was first day they met. She couldn’t help but love it, though. It was adorable to see him so worked up over nothing.

Anne got on top of Kieran and put her face close to his. “I love you…” Anne said with confidence. Kieran’s body felt tense at her sudden movement.

“I-I…love you too.” The words still sounded awkward coming of Kieran’s mouth.

Anne pushed her lips onto his. Kieran kissed her back with slightly more confidence than before. Anne started trailing her hands down his body. She pulled away from the kiss. “Do you want me?” Anne asked seductively.

“A-always…” Kieran said breathlessly.

**********************

Anne started putting her hands around Kieran’s cock. He already came twice today, so it took a bit longer for him to get hard. Kieran felt his breath stop when Anne’s hands made contact on his skin. He felt like he was in a dream. He loved this girl, and the idea that she could ever love him back still seemed farfetched.

He had fallen in love with women in the past, but they never reciprocated his feelings. Quite the opposite, actually. Most women seemed repulsed by his advances. Anne was different. She genuinely cared about him in a way that no one else had before and he would do anything to keep her in his life.

Kieran felt his heartbeat quicken. Overwhelmed with emotion, he quickly pushed Anne down and got on top of her. She seemed surprised by how dominating he was being. Kieran passionately grabbed Anne’s wrists and pinned them down against the bed so she couldn’t move her arms. He pushed the full weight of his body over hers and trapped her between him and the mattress. He kissed her roughly, which caused Anne to moan into his mouth. Kieran pulled away from the kiss to look at her. He stared at her intensely. 

Anne had a huge grin on her face. “What are you doing?” she whispered.

Kieran didn’t realize how forceful he was being. She didn’t seem bothered by his actions, but he was still convinced that he scared her. He released his grip on her wrists and pulled back a bit. “I-I’m sorry. I don’t know why I-I did that. Did I…hurt you?” 

“No, not at all. I’ve never seen you take charge like that before. I like it. Keep doing that.” 

“I-I shouldn’t…it don’t feel right holding you down…while we…do…that.” Kieran said embarrassed.

“I’d like to try sometime, but if you don’t feel comfortable with it, then I don’t want you to do it.” She said gently before resuming her position on top of him. She pushed him on his back and straddled his erection. “You like this better?” Anne asked coyly. 

“Much b-better” Kieran said with sigh.

Anne put her fingers between her legs and started rubbing herself shamelessly. She held Kieran’s gaze, but he couldn’t help but be drawn to what she was doing with her hands. Anne moaned at the pleasure she was giving herself. Kieran tried to put his hand between her legs to try and touch her as well, but she slapped it away. 

“You have to wait.” She said with a gasp.

Kieran whined in disappointment. He wanted to touch her so badly and only being able to watch was driving him crazy. He reached down to his cock and started stroking himself to try and relieve some of his arousal.

“I said to wait…” Anne demanded. 

Kieran didn’t protest and he took his hand off, but his cock was starting to throb with need. He fought to urge to touch himself and instead just watched her patiently. Anne noticed how obedient he was being, so she moved her slick entrance right above his length.

Without warning, Anne slid down onto his cock. Kieran gasped in a mix of surprise and pleasure. Anne whispered in his ear. “You give up so easily.”

“I’m just doin’ what I’m told.” Kieran said between moans. 

Anne started riding him at an unforgiving pace. Kieran couldn’t help but stare at the way that her breasts bounced as she pumped up and down on his cock. Anne noticed the way Kieran was staring at her, so she moved her chest down over his face. 

“Put your mouth on me” Anne said softly.

Kieran wasn’t sure what to do, so he shyly kissed her breasts while Anne rolled her eyes in amusement.

“Close enough” Anne said with a laugh.

Kieran was getting close. He felt like he could explode at any moment, but he fought to urge to cum for Anne’s sake. “You g-gettin’ close?” 

“Almost…” Anne said as she shut her eyes in concentration. “Hold on for me…”

It took everything that he had to prevent himself from spilling into her right then and there. Kieran screwed his eyes shut and gripped the bedsheets in an attempt to keep his orgasm at bay. It was too late. Anne looked too beautiful on top of him and he was already too far gone.

Kieran felt his orgasm rush out and he spilled his hot load into Anne. “I…I’m so s-sorry” He said with a loud moan. 

His cock was still hard, so Anne kept riding him. She finished not a second later, but Kieran’s cock was oversensitive from him his own orgasm that the stimulation started to make him see stars. Anne quickly got off of him the second she was done, and laid down beside him. The intense pleasure mixed with slight pain made Kieran feel a bit lightheaded. He worked to catch his breath as Anne leaned into him.

“You okay?” Anne asked gently. 

Kieran kissed Anne on the cheek before nodding. “When I’m with you? Always.”

 


	10. 7 Minutes in Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sitting out dances on the wall, trying to forget everything that isn't you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! I'm still undecided on whether or not I'm going to end the story based on the canon of the game or if I'm going to change it. I'm leaning towards changing the canon, because it would kill me to do my boy Kieran so dirty.

Kieran and Anne ended up falling asleep in the late afternoon. Anne wanted them to stay awake as much as possible, but it was hard to resist the soft bed and the comfort of being in each other’s arms. They woke up in the very early morning, just a little after midnight. Their sleep schedules were thrown off by their early bedtime and they weren’t sure what to do. It was too late for them to try and go back to sleep and it was too early for them to make their way to the train station. 

They eventually concluded that it would be best for them to stay in bed until they had to head back. Anne knew that this trip was a luxury and they would most likely never get a chance to do it again for a very long time. Anne sighed at the idea of having to go back to camp. 

She loved the gang, but the way that they treated Kieran started to put a strain on her affection for them. She found herself weirdly protective of him, and she knew that she would have to fight the urge to stand up for him against the gang’s taunts. Kieran was still pretty adamant about keeping their relationship a secret from the rest of the gang, and she was determined to honor his wishes.

Anne pulled Kieran closer to her and squeezed him tighter than usual. Kieran noticed Anne’s firmer grip on him, so he turned to look at her.

“Hey…not so tight. You’re gonna leave a mark.” Kieran said in a joking manner. 

“Can’t help it. I just love you too much.” Anne said playfully. 

Kieran blushed and turned away. “Wish we didn’t have to go back so soon” he sighed.

“I was just thinking the same thing.”

“I’m just gonna miss bein’ alone with you. So many eyes back at camp.”

“It doesn’t have to be like that. Maybe we should tell people? I feel like someone will find out eventually.”

“Maybe…but I ain’t sure now’s the time. The gang still don’t trust me, and I don’t want them to start distrusting you cause of your association to me and all.”

“I’m not sure the gang will ever fully trust you.” Anne said without thinking.

Kieran looked upset at what Anne said. She realized how harsh her words sounded, so she tried to correct what she meant. “I only mean that it might be easier for them to trust you if they knew how much you mean to me.” 

Kieran nodded in agreement, but his brow was still furrowed in thought. “I know. But I think it would be safer if we keep it a secret. Just for now.”

“Sure, whatever want. I’ll do whatever makes you comfortable. I know it can’t be easy, being in your position and all.”

“Thank you…for bein’ so understanding and all.” Kieran said affectionately. 

“Of course. It’s my job.” Anne said with a wink.

*****************

Kieran and Anne reluctantly got out of bed and packed up their things to leave the apartment. Their mood was different on the way back to the train station compared to when they first arrived. Anne wasn’t affectionate like she was on the train ride up and she kept her distance from him as they walked. Anne wasn’t talking much either. She only spoke to Kieran when she had to, and she kept her conversations formal. During the train ride, Kieran tried to put his hand on hers. She gently removed it and put it back into his lap. 

Anne looked at Kieran sadly. “I’m sorry, my love. We’ll be at camp soon and I don’t want there to be any lingering romance between us when we arrive. The gang isn’t stupid, if we aren’t careful, they’re bound to notice something.”

“Oh…okay.” Kieran said with disappointment in his voice. He wasn’t ready to give up the physical contact with Anne, but he knew that it was better to play it safe than to be sorry.

Arthur was already waiting for them by the time the train reached the Rhodes Station. Anne greeted Arthur warmly, while Kieran avoided making eye contact with him.

“How was the trip? You two enjoy each other’s company?” Arthur said with a sly tone in his voice.

Kieran froze _. Oh, God…he knows. Arthur knows. He knew all this time, and all this sneaking around was for nothing. What now?_ Kieran thought to himself as he eyed Anne nervously. Her face was unfazed by Arthur’s remark. 

Anne barely even glanced at Arthur as she began to mount her horse. “I guess. Not sure how fun a shopping trip can be, but it was nice.”

Kieran wished he had Anne’s grace under pressure. He kept his mouth shut out of fear that he would say the wrong thing.

Arthur seemed to notice Kieran’s nervousness. “What about you, O’Driscoll?” He said with a grin, “You have a good time?”

Kieran gulped. He was about to speak, but Anne quickly interrupted.

“Can we talk about this on the road? I’m exhausted. Let’s go…” Anne said with slight annoyance in her voice.

Kieran looked at Anne gratefully and quickly got on his horse, which made Arthur follow suit. Kieran was glad that Anne was so good at keeping their secret, since he was apparently terrible at it. He had such a nervous disposition, that it was no wonder he was so terrible at lying.

The three of them were only riding for about a minute before Arthur started teasing them again. “Anyways…what was it that you were saying back at the station? Somethin’ about having a good time?” 

“I-I didn’t say that-that” Kieran stammered.

“Leave him alone, Arthur” Anne said indifferently, “What are you trying to get at?” 

“I’m just asking…” Arthur responded innocently, “It just seemed to me that O’Driscoll here, was glad to spend time with you.”

“Why is that?” Anne asked calmly.

“Not sure. Maybe he’s sweet on you.” 

Anne scoffed. “We all know that’s not true.”

 “What do you mean?” Arthur asked.

“Everyone knows that Kieran only has eyes for Mary-Beth” Anne replied plainly. 

“That so?” Arthur said with amusement in his voice. “I hate to break it to you, O’Driscoll, but so do a lot of fellers back at camp. I don’t think she’ll be fallin’ for you anytime soon.” 

Kieran just shrugged back at Arthur. He didn’t really know how to respond. Arthur seemed satisfied with Anne’s answer, since he remained quiet for the rest of the ride back to camp. Kieran was relieved that Arthur no longer suspected anything, but he couldn’t help but wonder why Anne chose Mary-Beth to lie about.

They made it back to camp shortly afterwards. It was still morning when they arrived, which made camp quieter than usual. Anne quickly got off her horse and started restocking the medicine wagon. Kieran wanted to get started on his work for the day, but found it difficult to do so. His urge to talk to Anne privately was strong and it made concentrating on his tasks virtually impossible.

*****************

The sun was starting to set by the time Anne was done with her work. She was only gone for a day, but it seems like everyone had aliments waiting for her upon her arrival. By the time Anne was done treating her last patient, she was exhausted. She noticed that Kieran’s spirits have been down ever since they got back to camp. Despite her lack of energy, she was wanted to make sure he was doing okay.

Kieran was sitting near his tent taking a break when Anne managed to make eye contact with him from a distance. She gestured her head towards the river located just outside of camp. He took the hint and started making his way to where she was pointing at.

The river near camp was wide and was partially covered by trees. The riverbank was well covered from view and offered privacy for the two of them. Anne remembered the riverbank near Horseshoe Overlook and remembered that’s where she and Kieran had their first kiss. Anne smiled warmly at the memory as she sat next to him.

This river bank was different, though. There was more sediment in the soil, which made the ground a bit more uncomfortable to sit on than Anne would have liked. She told herself that it didn’t really matter, since the only thing Anne cared about was being able to have some alone time with Kieran.

Anne put her hand on his. “I’m sorry about earlier. I didn’t mean to act so weird on the train. I was just nervous about keeping our secret, but now, I think we’re in the clear.” 

“Thanks for that, by the way. I didn’t mean to make you do all the talkin’. I just get so nervous.” Kieran said quietly. 

“It’s okay. It worked out. Arthur seemed to believe me.”

“Only cause you told him that I liked Mary-Beth…” Kieran said concerned. “How come you did that?" 

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you. Are you mad that I said it?”

“I don’t know, not really. I guess, I was just wonderin’ why you chose to lie about that of all things.”

“It just seemed like a believable thing to say. Even I believed it. I know she was the one sneaking you food when you were a prisoner, so I just assumed you were interested in her because of it.”

“You also gave me food. Don’t you remember?”

“But she did it first.” 

“Why does that matter?”

“It just does…” Anne said with a shrug.

Kieran looked at Anne skeptically. “Are you…jealous?”

*****************

Kieran felt bold for assuming that Anne would ever be jealous of anyone. She literally had everything going for her, so it felt stupid asking if she was feeling insecure, but Anne’s reaction to his question made him second guess himself. 

“I’m not jealous.” Anne said hesitantly. “But…maybe I was. When we first met. I thought you liked her, and I couldn’t help but feel upset about it.”

Kieran was shocked that Anne felt this way. He never thought of himself as the type of guy who could make someone like Anne jealous. Despite how much Anne made him feel loved and cared for, he still lacked the self-esteem needed to feel confidence.   

Kieran never thought highly of himself. Considering his history of abuse from various authority figures in his life, this wasn’t surprising. Somehow Anne confession made him feel differently. The idea that someone like him could have this effect on her made Kieran smile. Anne noticed Kieran’s reaction and playfully slapped his shoulder. 

“Stop it!” Anne said with a laugh, “Don’t look so smug. I hate it” 

“Sorry, I ain’t doin’ it on purpose. It just made me happy.” Kieran said shyly.

“Why?” Anne asked with a smile.

“I dunno, just made me feel good. I never thought I could ever make someone like you jealous. That’s all.”

“What do you mean? Of course, you can. I wouldn’t want anyone else.”

Kieran looked at Anne lovingly. She always knew what to say. Kieran grabbed Anne’s face and kissed her, with confidence this time.

 


	11. West Coast Smoker

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your eyes are blocking my starlight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for reading! Spoiler warning! There will be some mild spoilers for Chapter 3!
> 
> Smut warning! The end of the chapter will have smut!

Kieran and Anne found themselves spending a lot of their free time at the riverbank near the camp. It offered a semblance of privacy from the rest of the gang, which made it a perfect spot for alone time. Kieran noticed that the river had an abundance of Smallmouth Bass, so Anne bought him a fishing pole from the Rhodes General Store and would often sit by him while he fished. He proved to be a very competent fisherman, which made their visits to the river enjoyable as well as productive.

They were glad they were able to etch out a bit of paradise in this new camp. That is until, Dutch heard about a rivalry between the two most powerful families in the area. He somehow concluded that both families were sitting on huge amounts of wealth and intended to rob both of them blind. This ambitious feat forced Dutch to send off more men than usual to execute his plans. 

The lack of people around the camp forced Kieran and Anne to pick up a lot of the slack the gang members were leaving behind. The work at camp starting piling up, which caused them to work longer hours than usual. This meant that they couldn’t spend as much time by the river as they would have liked and they had to start going less and less as the gang’s work demands increased.

Anne didn’t mind all the extra work, but she was starting to miss spending time with Kieran. She found herself daydreaming frequently about leaving the gang and starting a life with him. Anne could hardly wait until the O’Driscoll gang was gone and Kieran could finally be safe. There was talk of O’Driscoll sightings near Rhodes, which made Anne all the more worried about him. They agreed that it would be too dangerous for Kieran to accompany her on another trip to San Denis and that she would have to make supply runs alone from now on.

With O’Driscolls lingering about and the law hot on their trail, Anne couldn’t help but wonder what Dutch planned to do about it. He didn’t seem too bothered by all of the heat on them, and seemed mostly fixated on his plan to rob the Braithwaite and the Gray families. Anne couldn’t tell if it was her concern for Kieran’s safety or her extended time at camp that was causing her to start questioning Dutch’s capability for leadership. She didn’t dare tell a soul, not even Kieran, that she was starting to wonder if Dutch possessed the wisdom to lead the gang to prosperity. 

Anne had known Dutch for a while now, and she recognized that he could sometimes be shortsighted, but he also had a reputation for keeping his word. This reputation kept Anne believing that he would always do what was best for everyone in the gang. 

It was a rather slow day at camp, when Anne took a seat at a table to catch her breath. She was done with her work relatively early in the day and took a minute to collect her thoughts. She made eye contact with Kieran from across the camp and saw him doing the same. She cocked her eyebrow at him as a way to silently ask if he wanted to sneak away from camp for a few minutes. Kieran nodded subtly in agreement and started to get up from his seat.

Just as they were about to leave, Anne overheard Pearson talking with Dutch, Micah, and Arthur. Person mentioned running into some O’Driscolls on his way into Rhodes and discussed the possibility of having a parley with them. Anne was positive that she misheard him, so she walked over to the men to try and hear what they were saying. She gestured to Kieran to move within earshot of the conversation as well.

Turns out, Anne had heard correctly and the men were indeed discussing the possibility of making peace with the O’Driscolls. She wanted to tell them what a bad idea she thought it was, but didn’t feel like it was her place to share her opinion. Hosea was sitting at a table away from the men and interrupted their conversation. 

“They want a parley?” Hosea said plainly, “It’s a trap.”

Anne was grateful that Hosea took the words right out of her mouth and spoke up. He was always sensible and thus, she valued his opinion above anyone else's. It was unfortunate that Dutch didn’t seem to value it as much as her. He seemed more interested in what Micah had to say and was starting to come around to his side. Anne wanted to strangle Micah for being so dead set on meeting with Colm, but she couldn’t do anything about it. 

Eventually, Dutch decided to bite the bullet and go to meeting. Anne was hoping Hosea would stop him and force him to think on it some more, but he remained quiet. Anne sighed as she watched Micah, Dutch and Arthur ride off to the parley. She looked over at Kieran who seemed to share her concerns about what just happened. Anne shrugged and started to walk towards the riverbank. Kieran followed shortly after. 

Anne was sitting at the edge of the riverbank running her hands in the water when Kieran finally arrived. He sat next to her and leaned into her body. They sat in silence for a few minutes before Anne spoke up. 

“What do you think?” she asked quietly. 

“I dunno. It don’t seem right. Colm ain't the type to do this sort of thing. He hates Dutch, and I mean _hates him_. I doubt this is gonna turn out well.”

“I know. I think he’s making a mistake…but what can we do?”

“How come you didn’t say nothing?” Kieran asked curiously, “Don’t Dutch trust your opinion?”

“God no. Not about things like this. I’m not an outlaw. Even if I think Dutch is wrong, I wouldn't normally say anything. I don't feel like its my place to share my opinion on gang decisions." 

“Dutch ain’t like Colm though. He values the lives of the people here. Maybe he knows what he’s doin’. For all we know, they could be makin’ peace right now and we don’t even know it.” 

“That worries me, too. Just because Dutch and Colm decide they want to have a temporary ceasefire, it doesn’t mean that you’re safe. If they do end up making peace, that would mean Colm could end up living a lot longer than we thought. You may never get a chance to have a life outside the gang.” 

“I know.” Kieran said sadly, “if that happens, what would you do?” 

“What do you mean?”

Kieran looked scared to say what he wanted to say. He hesitated before finally speaking. “If I have to stay with the gang forever…what-what will you…do?”

Anne thought for a minute. She was really banking on the hope that Colm would die someday soon and she could take Kieran away from the outlaw life and build something more stable with him. She felt like he deserved far more than this, and she wanted the chance to give him the life that he should’ve had. Anne sighed. She knew that she wasn’t being realistic and his safety was far more important than her plans. Deep down, she knew she could settle for a permanent life in the gang if she had to.

“I guess I’ll have to be an outlaw then…” Anne said with a smile.

Kieran exhaled when Anne answered, “You mean it?” 

“Of course. No matter what happens I’m going to want to stay by your side.”

Anne moved closer to Kieran and kissed him deeply before putting her arms around him. She started kissing him more passionately as she moved to straddle his lap. Kieran moaned into her mouth when she started unbuttoning his pants. Kieran pulled away from the kiss.

“You s-sure we got time for this?” Kieran asked in almost a whisper.

Anne put her mouth on his neck before moving her lips up to his ear. “We will if you’re quick” she whispered to him. 

“You know that ain’t a problem for me” Kieran said with a laugh.

Anne couldn’t help but laugh with him. She was glad that he was finally getting the confidence to make jokes about his insecurities.

Kieran put his hand under Anne’s skirt and between her legs. He started rubbing his fingers through her folds. It was nice that Kieran was starting to get more comfortable enough to touch her without her telling him to do so. Anne gasped at the sensation and was grateful that he still remembered how she liked to be touched, even without her hand guiding him. 

Anne took Kieran’s erection out of his pants and started to stroke him gently. Kieran was already making her wet so she moved his hand aside and pushed herself onto his cock. Kieran choked out a surprised moan at the sudden sensation. Anne would’ve normally waited until she was a bit closer to her orgasm before she started to ride him, but she was growing impatient and knew that they had limited time.

Anne rode him gently at first, but she wasn’t satisfied with the pace, so she starting going faster and faster to try and fulfill her needs. Kieran moans were getting more erratic, which signaled to Anne that he was getting close. His eyes shut and his breathing was getting heavier. Anne wasn’t even close to her own orgasm, but she knew they didn’t have to luxury to stop and get her closer before continuing.  

“I’m…almost t-there” Kieran said with gasp, “slow down and l-let me t-touch you some more”

Anne kept her pace and put her hands on his cheeks, “It’s okay. Cum for me. I want you to cum for me.”

Kieran looked like he was trying to resist his orgasm, but he wasn’t able to. Anne’s pace was too quick for him and he started to moan loudly. Anne put her hand over his mouth to try and muffle his needy sounds. 

“Shh…we’re not in San Denis anymore. Someone might hear you” Anne said with a smile. 

Kieran worked to catch his breath before he spoke. “Forgot…sorry.” 

Anne laughed and kissed his forehead before getting off of him. She stood up and was straightening out her clothes when Kieran spoke up with concern. “Wait…w-what about you. I didn’t make you…you know…”

“That’s alright. We’re a bit pressed for time. You’ll get me next time.” Anne said as she helped Kieran up from the ground.

They walked back to camp separately and were in high spirts for the rest of the day. The sun was ready to set when Anne heard horses approaching the camp. She quickly stood up and saw Dutch and Micah riding into camp. She kept looking behind them to see where Arthur was. When she realized that he wasn’t with them, she instantly knew something went wrong.

Anne tried to make eye contact with Kieran to see what he was thinking, but he wasn’t looking in her direction. His eyes were locked on Dutch and Micah. Anne cleared her throat to get Kieran’s attention. He looked at her with fear in his eyes.   


	12. Bang the Doldrums

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I cast a spell over the west to make think of me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone for reading! ^_^ 
> 
> Spoiler warning! There will be some light spoilers for Chapter 3!

A small crowd surrounded Dutch and Micah, pelting them with questions about what happened. Dutch didn’t respond to their inquiries and instead pushed past the crowd to stand in front of his tent. He got on top of a small crate and started speaking. 

“Everyone. I know…I know you’re all wondering how the parley went. Colm O’Driscoll and I spoke, and we laid out the terms of the truce. Afterwards, me and Micah went to the rendezvous point where we were supposed to meet Arthur. Now, I regret to inform you that Arthur has failed to show up to said meeting spot…”

A wave of whispered concerns spread through the crowd. Anne couldn’t hide the confusion on her face. Arthur was missing, possibly captured by an enemy gang and all Dutch seemed to care about was making a speech. Anne looked at Kieran to try and gauge his reaction, but wasn’t looking at her. He was too busy staring at Dutch waiting for his next words. Dutch noticed the reaction of the crowd and worked to calm his people. 

“Everyone. Everyone, please listen. I don’t want any of us to jump to conclusions. For all we know, Arthur is off on his own somewhere like he always is. We can’t rush to the assumption that something bad has happened to him. Which means, we can’t go and start pointing fingers at Colm O’Driscoll. If the meeting with Colm was indeed a setup, then me and Micah would not be here right now. So, let’s not panic. Instead, I want all of you to have some faith and to pray for Arthur’s safe return.” 

Anne couldn’t believe what she was hearing. It wasn’t like Arthur to abandon a mission for no reason. Dutch seemed slightly worried about Arthur, but not nearly as much as he should be. Arthur was like a son to Dutch, so it didn’t make sense to her why Dutch wasn’t rounding up his men to send out a search party, just in case. The crowd didn’t seem to share her worry and instead looked satisfied with Dutch’s answer. Dutch got off the crate and went into his tent to talk with Hosea.

The crowd started to disperse but Anne and Kieran remained in their spots. Anne made eye contact with Kieran, who looked just as concerned as she was. Anne causally walked over to Kieran and spoke to him very quietly.

“I’m going to talk to Dutch. Will you meet me at our spot in a few minutes?”

Kieran nodded subtly before walking off. Anne stayed where she was and paced near Dutch’s tent until Hosea left. She had a lot of things she wanted to ask Dutch, and she knew better than to question his logic in front of other people. Anne approached the opening of his tent with an innocent smile.

“Dutch, can we talk?” she asked as calmly as she could. 

Dutch looked tired, but he was kind enough to not show it in his voice. “Of course, Miss Anne. What can I do for you?”

“I was just wondering if you wanted me to prep my area for surgery, like I always do before a big gunfight.”

Dutch looked slightly confused, “Why would you ask that?”

“Just in case. If the O’Driscolls have Arthur, it’s going to take a lot of guns to get him back. I just wanted to prepare for the injuries that go along with a rescue mission of that caliber.”

Dutch looked annoyed at what Anne was saying. “Who said anything about a rescue mission? We don’t know if Colm even has him.”

“You’re right, we don’t…but it doesn’t seem like Arthur to just run off in the middle of a mission. I’m just worried something bad happened.”

“I know. I am too, but we can’t just send good men off searching for someone who most likely doesn’t need saving.”

Anne opened her mouth to say more, but Dutch interrupted her. “Miss Anne, please. I don’t want you to worry. Leave the worrying to me. Okay? If Arthur doesn’t show up soon, we’ll start looking, but until then, let’s not get carried away.” 

This was not the response she was hoping for. She wanted to push the issue further, but it seemed clear that Dutch had made up his mind already. Anne kept her thoughts to herself and instead smiled sweetly at him. “You’re right. I’m sorry Dutch. I didn’t mean to get so worked up.”

“Don’t apologize. It’s quite alright. I appreciate your concern.” 

Anne excused herself from Dutch’s tent. She did her best to try and hide the fury from her face.

Anne made her way over to the riverbank where she told Kieran to meet her. Kieran was already there sitting on the ground when arrived. Anne walked over and sat on the ground next to him. She sighed deeply. 

“What is it?” Kieran asked gently

“It’s Dutch.” Anne said angrily, “He isn’t planning on sending anyone to look for Arthur. I can’t believe him.” 

“Do you think Colm took him?”

“Yes.” Anne said sharply, “It doesn’t seem like Arthur to just run off like that.” 

Anne felt like she wanted to cry.

Kieran put his arm around her to try and comfort her. “I know. I’m sorry. But you know how tough Arthur is. Even if Colm has him, he ain’t gonna give up. He’ll find a way to come home.”

Anne got up from her spot on the ground. “That’s not the point!”

Kieran looked at her with confusion on his face. Anne tried to clarify what she meant, but found herself struggling to express her thoughts “I mean it is…but…I….” she put her hands over her face in frustration. 

Kieran got up to stand next to her. He put his hand on her arm in concern. “What, then?”

“I’m worried about Arthur. I am. But it’s so much more than that. It’s Dutch. One of us is missing and he doesn’t even bother going out to look? That’s not right. That’s something Colm O’Driscoll would do.” Anne said exasperated 

Kieran didn’t respond. Instead he just nodded in agreement.  

Tears started to stream from Anne face. “Arthur is like a son to Dutch, and this is how he reacts to him going missing? What’s gonna happen if you’re ever in danger? Do you think Dutch will do anything, then? I doubt it!” 

“That’s what this is about? You’re worried about me?” Kieran asked gently. 

“Of course it is! The only reason why you’re still with the gang is for protection. What’s the point of staying if the gang isn’t willing to protect you?” Anne asked loudly.

“I ain’t got a choice. You know I can’t just leave.”

“I know that! I just…” Anne breathed deeply to try and compose herself before speaking, “I just always thought that if anything were to happen to you, the gang would somehow find a way to save you. I don’t know why I thought that, but I did. I was sure of it. Now, I don’t know what to believe.”

Kieran put his arms around Anne. “Don’t worry about things like that.”

Anne’s eyes started to well up with tears again. “I can’t help it. I’m so worried. I don’t know what to do. If I can’t rely on the gang to protect you, how am I supposed to keep you safe?”

“I’ll be fine. Ain’t nothing bad is gonna happen to me. I promise.”

Anne looked up at Kieran. He was smiling at her. She smiled back, but inside she was still upset. She was no fool. She knew Kieran couldn’t promise her that. One of the most dangerous gang leaders in the country wanted to kill him, and he was more vulnerable than she had once thought.

Dutch led her to believe that he would raid hell itself to save one of his own, but his inaction towards Arthur’s disappearance made her think twice about that. She now knew that Kieran would ultimately be on his own if Colm ever got his hands on him. Anne felt stupid for believing Dutch in the first place, but resigned to the fact that there was nothing she could do about it now. Kieran was right, there wasn’t anywhere else he could realistically go to and be truly safe. Even though being with the gang was less safe than Anne originally thought, it was still safer than the alternative.

“You can’t promise that nothing bad will ever happen to you.” Anne said sternly, “but you can promise that you’ll try really hard to avoid it.”

“Alright, then. I promise that.”

Anne looked away from Kieran in shame. She started to regret taking Kieran to her apartment in San Denis. Looking back, she realized how much of a risk it really was. “Speaking of avoiding danger…I’m so sorry for taking you to San Denis. I didn’t know it at the time, but I really put you in a lot of danger by doing that.” 

“You’re kiddin’ me, right? Don’t be sorry ‘bout that. I chose to go. Besides, I’ll always risk my life to get between your legs.” 

Anne let out a surprised laugh. She’s never heard Kieran be so forward when talking about intimacy before. He didn’t even look that embarrassed over his joke, which caused Anne to be proud at Kieran’s new found confidence. 

“I love you.” Anne said softly

“I love you, too” Kieran replied with a kiss.

*************

It was almost night when Anne and Kieran made it back to camp. Everyone was still distracted over the fact that Arthur was still missing. Since everyone was so preoccupied, Anne figured it would be safe to sit at the scout fire with Kieran. Still, he didn’t want to risk sitting next to her and instead opted to sit across from her to avoid looking suspicious.

“Thought he would be back by now.” Kieran said quietly. 

“I know. I hope he’s okay.” Anne replied just as quietly.

“I hope so too.”

Kieran could tell that Anne was really worried. She was fidgeting a lot in her seat and she kept looking out at the woods for any signs of Arthur. He wanted to comfort her, but there wasn’t much he could do now that they were back in camp.  

“I saved his life once, you know.” Anne said casually breaking the silence.

“Really? How?”

“Stab wound through the stomach. A bad one. He lost a ton of blood, and everyone was convinced he was going to die. I was only sixteen years old at the time and didn’t have a ton of experience with a wound like that.”

“How did you do it?”

“Luck, mostly. I did my best, but he only managed to pull through by pure chance…” Her voice dropped an octave, “Now I wonder if his luck ran out.”

“That’s not true,” Kieran said in a positive voice, “I also saved his life. Remember? He was real lucky then, too. He’s probably just a lucky feller, which means…he’s probably okay.”

Anne looked at Kieran gratefully. She smiled at him, and Kieran felt proud that he was able to comfort her through his words. He didn’t say it, but he felt closer to Anne now that she showed some of her own vulnerabilities to him. He’d never seen her get so emotional before, and he was glad she felt comfortable enough to reveal that side to him. 

They sat in silence for a while before the sound of a horse approaching camp interrupted his thoughts. Anne jumped out of her seat and instinctively ran towards the sound. Kieran looked out and recognized Arthur’s horse entering the camp. The crowd, including Anne, was relieved that Arthur made it back to them, but a rush of worry started to fill the camp. People seemed unsure if Arthur was going to be able to survive the wounds he sustained while missing. 

Kieran wasn’t worried though. Anne was vastly more intelligent than anyone he had ever met in his life. He knew in his heart that his girl would be able to save him.


	13. Champagne for My Real Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh yeah, you caught me, but I caught you way worse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Spoiler warning! There will be some very mild spoilers for Chapter 3!
> 
> Also smut warning! There will be some light smut at the end of the Chapter!

Arthur was barely conscious when he arrived in camp. A small crowd formed around him as he slumped off his horse. Anne approached Arthur initially to join the crowd in concern, but she stopped as she remembered her duty. There was no room for emotions right now. Arthur was not in good shape. He looked like he was barely clinging on to life and she knew she would need all her wits about her if she was going to save his life. She instructed the group to carry him over to his bed while she ran to grab her bag of medical supplies.

Her medicine stockpile was not as nearly as abundant as she would have liked. Before Dutch became obsessed with the Braithwaite and Gray feud, she actually had quite a large surplus of medicine. This was no longer the case, since Dutch’s plan involved increasingly dangerous objectives for the gang members to complete, it led to an increase of injuries that devoured Anne’s supplies.

Coupled with the fact that she no longer had a lot of time to forge for herbs for crafting, due to her increased chore workload, led to the dismal state of her stockpile. She wanted to blame Dutch for her lack of supplies, since Arthur’s kidnapping and the injuries resulting from his orders were technically his fault, she knew she had no one to blame but herself for this.

Susan Grimshaw wanted Anne to focus on her job as the doctor for the gang, but Anne didn’t comply. She wanted to contribute to the labor shortage around camp and neglected her responsibility to keep the camp well stocked with medicine in favor of doing chores. Anne regretted her decision and instantly felt guilt over her actions, but she knew she had to keep those emotions tamped down in order to narrow her focus on saving Arthur’s life. 

Arthur had a bullet wound in shoulder that Anne did not like the look of. He was smart enough to cauterize the wound to stop it from bleeding, but it was still infected. He was probably also suffering from a concussion based on the bruises on his forehead, but Anne didn’t have time to worry about that. She needed to concentrate on preventing his bullet wound from becoming septic.

Anne worked with the supplies that she had to treat Arthur’s myriad of ailments, but she wished that she had more just in case. She was normally very professional with her medicinal care, but the combination of her guilt, anger at Dutch, and concern for Arthur was starting to put cracks into her demeanor. Her stress must have been showing, since various members of the gang kept offering to help her with anything she needed. If she was being honest, having an assistant right now would be a bit helpful, but there wasn’t anyone she could rely on to properly support her.

Reverend Swanson had experience in medicine before, but his days of being a reliable and trusted professional were long gone, so she didn’t bother asking him for assistance. Anne eventually got Arthur to a stable state, but his recovery was far from certain. Arthur was holding onto life the best he could, but Anne knew she would have to monitor him round-the-clock, since his condition could change at any minute.

She sat by, watching him closely without rest and refused to leave his side. The fatigue of all the work she was doing and the stress of caring for Arthur was taking a toll on mental state as well as he body. Anne felt eyes on her from across the camp and she looked up to see Kieran staring at her. He looked like he was watching her as intently as she was monitoring Arthur. Kieran gave her a small smile, which caused her to quickly break her gaze. She wasn’t sure why, but looking at Kieran increased her stress levels rather than lowered them.

It had something to do with the way he looked at her. His eyes were filled with hope and admiration for her, and she felt underserving of such endearment. She wanted to tell him that there was a very good chance that she could fail and Arthur would die, so he shouldn’t be so confident in her abilities. Anne tried to put Kieran out of her mind and instead only thought of Arthur and his recovery.

**************

It was days since Kieran last spoke to Anne. She barely left Arthur’s side while she treated him and the stress was all over her face. He wanted to comfort her, but he didn’t want to distract her from her work. Anne’s efforts were not for nothing, as Arthur did eventually recover. He still wasn’t at the point where he could start doing missions again, but he was no longer in danger of dying.

Arthur’s recuperation involved him staying at camp while his body continued healing. Kieran could tell Arthur hated being forced to take it easy, so Kieran invited Arthur to go fishing with him to try and sate his boredom. He thought the trip went well and he wanted to tell Anne all about it, but she still didn’t seem interested in sneaking off to get some alone time to talk.

Kieran thought Arthur’s gradual recovery would cause Anne’s emotional state to start getting back to normal, but this wasn’t the case. She still had an anxious and sullen demeanor about her, even days after Arthur was walking around again.

Kieran hated seeing her like this and he sought to make it better. Kieran approached Anne casually and put a gentle hand on her shoulder.

“Will you meet me at our spot?” Kieran asked quietly.

Anne opened her mouth to object, but Kieran quickly interrupted her. 

“Just for bit. It’s real important.”

Kieran didn’t wait for Anne to respond and instead just started making his way towards the river and hoped that she would follow.

Anne did end up following him, but she didn’t look as happy as he would have liked. 

“Everything okay?” Anne asked flatly.

“You tell me. What’s goin’ on with you?” Kieran asked concerned. 

“Me? I’m fine.”

“You don’t seem fine. You hardly been sleepin’ and you avoid me like I got the plague or somethin’. What’s wrong?”

“I think I’m just tired,” Anne said with a shrug.

Kieran eyed her suspiciously, “You sure? It seems like there’s somethin’ else botherin’ you.” 

Anne broke eye contact with Kieran and exhaled deeply, as if she were exhaling all the emotions she was bottling up for the past week.

“I don’t know. I was just really worried, that’s all. I really thought I was going to lose him.” Anne said with a sigh. 

“Who? Arthur?” 

“Yeah.” Anne said quietly. “I tried to hold it in the best I could, but I was really scared.”

Kieran grabbed her hands lovingly. 

“I wasn’t. I knew you could do it. I knew you were gonna save him.”

Anne pulled her hands away. “See, that’s the thing. You didn’t know. Cause even I didn’t know that I was going to save him. Every day I was worried that he might die.”

Kieran was taken aback. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything by it.”

Anne looked back at Kieran. “I-I know you didn’t.” Anne sighed, “I’m sorry for being so intense right now.”

“I know. Don’t apologize. It’s alright.” 

Kieran grabbed Anne and held her close. She melted into his arms. Kieran felt her muscles start to loosen as he wrapped his arms around her.

“It’s just been a lot lately. With Dutch, and almost losing Arthur, I just don’t feel as safe as I used to. Nothing feels certain anymore.” 

“I know.” Kieran said compassionately

Anne looked up at Kieran. “But I have you. That helps. So, I’m sorry if I felt distant lately. I didn’t handle my stress well and I didn’t mean it.”

“It’s alright.” Kieran said quietly. “I love you.”

Anne kissed Kieran deeply. He sighed in relief. He was grateful to feel her touch after so long without contact. Kieran kissed her back roughly and moved his hand between her legs. He knew how much pressure she was under these past few days and he wanted to offer some relief. Kieran guided her to the ground and started to kiss her neck. He trailed his kisses lower and lower, until he got to her legs. He lifted her skirt and put his mouth on the tender skin on her inner thighs. 

He wanted to try and use his mouth to pleasure her, like how she had done to him in the past, but he wasn’t sure how. He had never done it before and he wondered if he would be any good at it. Kieran ignored his feelings of uncertainty and hoped for the best. He figured if he were to do something wrong, Anne would most likely try and correct him. 

Kieran moved his mouth to kiss her between her legs. He felt Anne shudder at his touch, which gave him the confidence to latch his mouth on her. He was surprised by how she tasted. It wasn’t unpleasant by any means, but it just wasn’t what he was expecting. Anne cried out in pleasure before muffling her sounds with her hand. 

“Hey keep it down, will you? We ain’t in San Denis anymore.” Kieran said jokingly before resuming his task.

“Very funny…” Anne said between moans. It sounded like she wanted to say more, but her sounds of ecstasy were stopped her from doing so.

Kieran wasn’t entirely sure what he was doing, but he remembered how she liked to be touched by his hand. He used his mouth like he would if he were using his fingers and put his tongue to her sensitive areas. Anne cried out at his new technique and started jerking her hips towards his face in response. He grabbed her thigh roughly to hold her still before aggressively pushing her legs wider apart so he could get better access.

“Don’t be gentle…” Anne whispered desperately, “Grip me tighter” 

Kieran eagerly complied as he dug his fingers deeper into her thigh, hard enough to leave a mark on her skin. Anne’s breathing was getting more erratic and he knew her end was coming near. He quickened his pace and flicked his tongue with more urgency, until she cried out from her orgasm. 

Kieran kissed her inner thighs as she came down from her pleasure. He moved to lie next to her as she started to regain her breath. He was wiping her wetness from his face with his sleeve when Anne got on top of him. She grabbed his shoulders before she pushed her mouth onto his.

“You’re really good at that” She said whispered as she wrapped her arms around his neck.

Kieran put his mouth back onto hers and started moving his hands down her back. He was glad that the stress of last week was put behind them and Anne was acting more like herself. She started to undo the top button on Kieran’s shirt when a voice interrupted them.

“What the hell?”

Kieran and Anne quickly pulled away from each other and turned to see source of the voice. They spotted Arthur standing the in woods surrounding their riverbank, staring straight at them with a confused look on his face. Kieran wondered how much he saw. He definitely saw them kissing just now and knew they couldn’t lie their way out of this one. They were caught.


	14. Reinventing the Wheel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I could walk this fine line, between elation and success.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! ^_^ 
> 
> This may be a bit out of character for Kieran, since I wrote him to be a bit mindless this chapter, but I thought it worked since its going to lead into what happens at the end of Chapter 3.

“What the hell?” Arthur repeated at Kieran and Anne.

Anne who was straddling Kieran, jumped up and moved to stand as if she wasn’t doing anything suspicious. 

“What do you mean?” she asked innocently. 

Kieran stammered a bit as he got on his feet to stand with her. It sounded like he was trying to say something, but he couldn’t get himself to form the words. 

“What’s the matter with you two?” Arthur said perplexed. “Speak. It ain’t that hard.” 

Anne sucked in air through her teeth. She was normally a lot more articulate than this, but she was so taken aback by Arthur’s presence that it threw her off her game. Anne couldn’t think of any logical reasons for why he would bother coming here. She knew that it was unlikely that he heard them, considering the distance they were from camp and the sound of the river helping to mask their noise. They were also very careful every time they left camp, so it was doubtful that someone had seen them leave together. Anne knew it was irrelevant, but she had to ask.

“Why are you here?” Anne blurted out.

“Fishin’.” Arthur answered as he held up a rod in his hand. 

Anne just now noticed the fishing rod he was carrying. “I see that. But why here?” she asked suspiciously.

“I’ve been here before.” Arthur said as he gestured towards a nervous Kieran. “He brought me fishin’ here the other day.”

Anne shot Kieran a look. She couldn’t believe that he mindlessly brought Arthur to their hiding spot without thinking of the repercussions. Anne turned her eyes back to Arthur.

“Oh.” She said emotionlessly. “So, what did you see?”

“Enough.” Arthur replied.

“And…are you upset?” Anne asked cautiously. 

“Upset? Why should I be?” Arthur asked

“Because we’re hiding something from the gang.” Anne said plainly

“No one else knows about this?”

“No.” 

“How come? Why you guys hiding?”

“Cause everyone still thinks I’m an O’Driscoll” Kieran interjected.  

Arthur and Anne both looked at Kieran. He’d been so quiet this whole time, they almost forgot that he was there. 

“People here still don’t trust me. Bill and Sadie still whisper in my ear all the time, how they’re gonna kill me in my sleep.” Kieran continued, “If people found out about me and Anne… They might start sayin’ the same things to her. I just didn’t want anyone harassin’ her like that, cause of me.” 

Arthur looked at Anne. His expression softened a bit. Anne knew that Arthur always had a soft spot for her. They got along pretty well and she knew how much he valued the work she did for the camp.  

“Are you going to say anything?” Anne asked casually. 

Arthur thought for a minute. “I guess not. But, you two better start being more careful. If word gets out about this, it might upset folks. If that happens, I ain’t gonna intervene.” 

“That’s fair.” Anne said with a nod of understanding, “Thank you, Arthur. We owe you one.” 

Arthur’s expression turned to guilt. “You don’t. If anythin’, I ain’t done owing you, Miss Anne. You saved me more times than I can count.” 

“Kieran, too.” Anne reminded Arthur, “He saved your life as well.”

“Oh, did he? I almost forgot.” Arthur said with a smirk.

“He did.” Anne quipped back. 

“Fine, I guess he did.” Arthur said with a shrug. Anne and Arthur shared a look of amusement before he started making his way back towards camp. “I guess I’ll have to find another fishin’ spot” said Arthur as he walked away. 

Anne waited until Arthur was out of earshot before she turned back to Kieran. “Speaking of which...”

“What?” Kieran asked. 

“Why did you bring Arthur here?” Anne asked with a raised eyebrow. “When did you even show him this place?”

“I dunno. I wasn’t thinkin’,” Kieran said honestly, “It was when he was still recoverin’ from his wounds and I could tell he was itchin’ to leave camp. So, I asked him to come fishin’ with me.” 

“Yeah, but why here?”

“I ain’t got a lot of other places to take him. This is the only fishin’ spot I know of.” Kieran looked away, embarrassed. “It just slipped my mind. I’m real sorry,” 

“I know you are,” Anne put her hand on his arm.

“Are you mad?” 

“No. I was initially. But now that I think about it, maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing, after all. Maybe this was a blessing in disguise.” 

“You think?” 

“Yeah, I think so. I’m actually glad Arthur found out. I know it doesn’t seem like it, but he’s on our side. I know it.”

“How do you know?”

“I just do. In any case, it’ll be good to have someone we can go to for help if we ever need it.”

“I hope we don’t”

“I hope we don’t” Anne said back to him, before pressing a kiss to his lips.

******************

Kieran sat by the riverbank watching the early afternoon sun reflect in the water in front of him. It had been days since Arthur had found out about him and Anne, but Kieran still felt uneasy about letting someone into their secret. He knew it was entirely his fault that Arthur found out about them and he cursed himself for being mindless. 

Anne didn’t seem to share his regret. On the contrary, ever since they confided in Arthur, she seemed happier and much less anxious than she had been before. Her growing concerns over their future and their safety seemed to be put off now that she had someone to rely on to look out for her. 

Kieran couldn’t help but be a little jealous over Anne’s faith in Arthur. He wished that Anne would look to him in times of crises, instead of needing to depend other, stronger men. He knew that it was pointless to wish for such a thing. That would never happen. He could barely look after himself, let alone her. 

Kiernan sighed, before the sound of Anne’s footsteps interrupted his thoughts. Anne sat down next to him and kissed him on the cheek. 

“Sorry it took me so long.” Anne said with a smile, “Arthur’s going off to meet some of the other guys in Rhodes for a mission. I just wanted to make sure he was in perfect health before he goes off and injures himself up again.” 

“What kind of mission?” Kieran asked

“Something to do with the Gray family, I think? I didn’t ask for details.” 

“You worried about him?”

“Of course.” Anne said with a shrug, “I’m always worried. These missions are usually pretty dangerous.” 

“I’m sure he’ll be fine. He knows how to take care of himself” Kieran said in a voice harsher than he anticipated.

Anne gave Kieran a look. “What does that mean?” 

“What?” Kieran said with his voice returning to normal.

“You sounded angry just now. Is everything okay?”

“I guess.” Kieran said evasively

“You guess?” Anne said with a raised eyebrow.

Kieran sighed. “Do you trust me?”

Anne looked confused. “What do you mean? Trust you how?”

“Do you trust me to keep you safe?" 

“What are you talking about? Of course, I do.” 

“Do you? Cause you kept going on about how worried you’ve been ever since you lost your faith in Dutch. Now, you’re all better cause you have Arthur to rely on. I-I just wish…”

“What?” Anne asked gently.

“I just wished you could rely on me. That’s all” 

“I rely on you.” Anne said tenderly.

“Not in that way.” Kieran said face full of shame, “You can’t rely on me to protect you.”

“What do you mean? I don’t need protection. I’m not worried about myself. I’m worried about you. I care about keeping you safe.”

“That’s e-exactly it. You have to worry about me. If-If one of Colm’s boys picked me up, I-I’d be done. I wouldn’t have it in me to escape like how Arthur did. I’d die.” 

“Okay…” Anne said, trying to understand. “Why does that matter?”

“I don’t want you to have to worry about me. I-I just wish, I was more like the other men here. They’re tough. They ain’t got to worry about gettin’ captured or nothing. Cause if they did, they’d be able to escape, save themselves. No problem.” 

“No problem? Do you not remember everything I did to save Arthur’s life? He was very close to dying. Very close. He’s lucky to be here.” 

“But he _is_ here. He made it. I-I wouldn’t be able to do that. Shoot my way out of an O’Driscoll camp? I-I just couldn’t.”

“Okay. So, that’s why you’re with Dutch, right? That’s why you have the gang looking after you. Cause you know what you can and can’t do. I don’t see what the issue is.”

Kieran broke eye contact with Anne. “I just want you to think of me as a real man. Not just some kid who don’t know how to look after himself.” 

“I don’t see you that way. You know that.”

“But you don’t see me like you see Arthur. You see him as a real man.” 

“Being good at killing people isn’t what it means to be a man.”

“I know. But still… Part of me wishes I could. Be strong in that way, I mean.”

“None of that really matters to me. You know that. And for the record, I do happen to think you’re strong. Physically strong, I mean.”

“Do you? I doubt it.” 

“Well…maybe you just haven’t had enough chances to show me.”

Kieran looked up back at Anne. She had a smirk on her face. 

“What do you mean?” 

Anne got closer to him. “I mean…you haven’t had a chance to show me what you’re capable of.” 

Kieran felt his muscles tense up. “I-I don’t understand” 

“You never showed me your strength.” Anne said with a playful shrug, “I usually take the lead. Maybe it’s time we changed that.” 

Kieran felt his heart race. He remembered how he felt in San Denis, how he felt overwhelmed by his emotions and how it caused him to grab her so roughly. He also remembered how aroused she looked at his intensity, before he stopped himself from going any further. Part of him regretted not continuing what he started that day.

Anne narrowed her eyes at him before opening her legs suggestively. “Come on, show me how tough you really are.” 

Kieran looked back at her with a grin. He wasn’t going to stop himself this time.


	15. Young Volcanoes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tonight, the foxes hunt the hounds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> Spoiler warning! Major spoilers for chapter 3 ahead.
> 
> Also, smut warning! The first half is basically all smut!

Kieran quickly closed the gap between him and Anne. She let out a sound of surprise at the sudden contact. He pushed her on her back roughly before throwing himself over her. Anne’s eyes lit up with arousal. Kieran grabbed her by the wrists and pushed them to the ground. He held her tightly so she couldn’t move her arms. He then pressed his mouth onto hers before biting her lip gently. Anne moaned into his mouth as soon as his teeth hit her skin, so he bit her even harder. 

In response, Anne started to move her leg in between his and started to rub her thigh against his growing erection. He broke their kiss to look at her in the eyes.

“Cut it out, will you?” He said in a needy voice, “I ain’t gonna last long if you keep doin’ that.”

Anne put her face closer to his. “Make me.”

Kieran laid his entire body weight onto hers and released his grip from her wrists. He pushed her legs down and wedged his weight over her, so she no longer could rub her leg against his crotch. He put a hand over the base of her throat and put the slightest bit of pressure around her neck before quickly taking his hand off her.

“I’m sorry. Was t-that too far?” He asked nervously.

“No, I liked it.” She with a smile. “I’ll let you know if it gets too much for me." 

“Are you sure? I-I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You won’t. I’ll tell you before things get out of hand. Same way you got to tell me if this is making you uncomfortable. We don’t have to keep doing it this way.”

“No…I-I still want it.”

“Yeah?” Anne said with a coy grin, “You like taking control?”

“Yeah” he whispered back. 

“Then, don’t stop.”

Kieran put his hand back around Anne’s neck. He mostly put it there for show. He had no intention of putting pressure around her throat, he just liked the way she looked trapped under his hand. Kieran kissed her roughly before moving his other hand under her skirt and between her legs. She was already wet, so he didn’t hesitate before plunging his fingers inside of her. She gasped loudly at the sensation, so Kieran took his hand off her neck and used it cover her mouth.

“Be. Quiet.” He said gruffly.

Anne complied with his request and tried to keep the sounds of her pleasure to a minimum. Seeing Anne so aroused and so obedient was overwhelming to him. Kieran’s erection was growing painful at the point, and he was aching for some relief. He stopped touching her, and took his hand off her mouth to undo the buttons on his pants and free his cock. Anne instinctively put her hand on his shaft and started stroking him lightly.

“Don’t…” Kieran murmured

Anne took her hand off him. 

“Sorry…you didn’t want me to do that?” she said with concern in her voice. 

“No…I-I did.” He said softly, “I just wanted to tell you to do it.”

Anne playfully scoffed. “Oh, sorry. Go ahead.”

“Grab my cock.” Kieran said demandingly.

Anne let out a small laugh before putting her hands back onto his shaft. She started stroking him again, this time at a quicker pace. It felt good, but he was craving more. Kieran brushed her hands away and guided her to lay back down on the ground. He lifted her skirt high enough so that he could see her slick entrance.

“Did you like how I used my mouth on you the other day?” Kieran asked 

“Yeah, that was so nice.” Anne said with a smile.

“I’m gonna do it again.”

“You don’t have to” Anne said as she propped herself up on her elbows. “You’re in charge this time. You should do whatever you want.”

“Exactly” Kieran said in hardened voice, “I’m in charge, and I say, I put my mouth on you.”

“Okay.” Anne said with smirk, “Whatever you say.”

That was all the permission Kieran needed to put his mouth on her. He swirled his tongue around her folds and Anne moaned in response. He knew that it wouldn’t take her long to cum at this point, since he already got her close with his hand, so he slowed his pace down a bit to try and savor the moment.

Anne did not seem to agree with what he was doing and instead started to jerk her hips towards his face in impatience. Kieran knew that she was close, but he wanted to hold off her orgasm a bit longer. Anne whined with need at his tortures pace.  Kieran decided it would be best to give her what she wanted since it was clear that she was ready to cum. He used his tongue with more urgency until he heard her cry out in ecstasy. 

She was still reeling from her orgasm when Kieran got up and plunged his cock into her without warning. She let out a sound of surprise as he started thrusting his length into her. She was so wet from the combination of her fluids and his saliva that he felt almost no resistance as he entered her. Kieran was so worked up from all the foreplay that he knew he wouldn’t last long. 

Anne looked at Kieran lovingly before gently putting her hands on his face.

“You make me feel so good.” Anne said breathlessly.

This was all it took for Kieran to reach his climax. Taking control and being dominate was fun and all, but if he was being honest, the most arousing thing for him was watching Anne succumb to her pleasure. It was his favorite part of intimacy with her and it was all he needed to reach his end. He put his mouth onto Anne’s before he spilled his load into her with a final thrust. He pressed his forehead against hers as he worked to catch his breath. 

They stayed like this for a while until Anne broke the silence.

“So…did you like that?”

“Course. I always like it,” said Kieran.

“I meant, did you like taking the lead?” 

“Yeah. Did you?”

“Oh man, I loved it.” Anne said slightly embarrassed. “We have to do it like that more often.”

“Whatever you want,” Kieran said as he pressed a light kiss to her cheek.

Kieran moved off her to try and clean himself off a bit. Anne removed the rest of her clothing before walking straight into the river. 

“Best way to clean up” Anne said with a shrug.

He couldn’t argue with that. He took off the remainder of his clothes and joined her in the water.

**************

It was late in the afternoon when they finished drying up from their bath in the river. They were probably needed at camp, but Anne didn’t want to head back yet. Her hair was still damp from the water, and she wanted to let it dry a little longer before leaving. She was combing her hair with her fingers when the sound of a scream interrupted her. Anne froze in place while Kieran instinctively put a hand on the gun in his holster. The scream then turned into sounds of wailing and crying. Kieran and Anne shared a concerned look.

“It sounds like it’s coming from camp.” Anne said quietly, “We should go.”

“No.” Kieran said with worry in his voice, “I’ll go. You stay here, just in case.”

“In case of what?”

“In case of danger. There might be somethin’ goin’ on.”

“It sounds like crying. I think it’s fine. Let’s go.”

Kieran was about to object, but Anne was already on her feet and hurrying towards camp. He sighed. He loved how independent she was, but he couldn’t help but wish she would take a second to listen to his concerns over her safety. It was no use, since she was practically halfway to camp by the time he got on his feet. All he could do now is try and catch up to her.

Anne was surprisingly fast and made it to camp extremely quickly. Kieran was almost out of breath trying to keep up with her pace. As they entered camp, they saw the source of the crying. It was Karen. She was on the ground sobbing over another person. Kieran looked closer and realized that she wasn’t clutching a person at all, but instead a corpse. Anne grabbed Kieran’s wrist and squeezed it tightly.

“It’s Sean…” Anne whispered with a shaky voice.

Kieran wasn’t sure how she could recognize the body, as it was covered in blood and missing half of its face. It was only when he noticed the unmistakable red hue of Sean’s hair reflecting against the sun that Kieran realized that Anne was right and the body did indeed belong to the young Irishman. 

People were gathered around Karen trying to convince her to let of Sean’s body, so that they could bury him properly, but she steadfastly refused to let anyone take him from her. Anne slowly walked over to Karen and knelt down next to her. She put a gentle hand on her back before speaking softly in her ear. He couldn’t hear what Anne said, but it must’ve been convincing as it got Karen to finally get up and leave Sean’s body behind, without looking back. 

Sean was then moved to Anne’s medical area and placed on the bed where she puts her patients. Anne was staring at Sean’s body mournfully as her eyes started to fill with tears. Kieran walked over and fought the urge to put his arm around her.

 “He was so young.” Anne said quietly. 

“He was.” Kieran replied. 

“Poor Karen.” Anne said fighting back tears.

“What did you say to her? To get her to let of him, I mean.”

“Huh? Oh, I just asked her to give him to me. I promised I’d fix him up and make him look more like himself before we buried him." 

“Can you do that?” 

“I’m going to try. I’ve met people who work in morgues, who fix up the dead for a living. If they can do it, maybe I can too.” Anne’s voice dropped slightly as she put her hand on Sean’s head. “This wound is something else though…it’s going to be tough.” 

“What even happened to him?” 

“I don’t know. Nobody said anything, but it must’ve happened during that Gray mission he went on today. I’m not entirely sure.” Anne took her hand off Sean’s head.

“In any case, it don’t seem like a good time to ask.” 

“That’s true, I guess it doesn’t really matter. All that matters is that I make him look good.” 

Kieran nodded in agreement.

“Do you mind giving some time alone to work on this?” Anne said as she gestured to Sean’s massive face wound.

“Course. Whatever you need.” He said understandingly.

Kieran was about to walk away, when Anne stopped him. “You know that if anything like this ever happened to you, I-I’d be…” 

“Like Karen?” 

“Worse. So much worse.”

“I wouldn’t want you crying over me like that, though. It breaks my heart just thinking about it.”

“I wouldn’t do that.” Anne said casually, “I’d burn this entire camp to the ground. I wouldn’t even think twice.” 

Kieran looked at Anne to see if she was joking, but the intensity in her eyes made it clear that she wasn’t. As he walked away, he silently hoped that nothing bad ever happens to him, not only for his sake, but for the sake of everyone else at camp.


	16. Golden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And I saw God cry in the reflection of my enemies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has stuck with the story so far! Spoiler Warning! Major spoilers for chapter 3 are ahead!
> 
> In the cutscene for the mission, Blood Feuds, Ancient and Modern (the one where we find out Jack is missing) Hosea mentions that Kieran was the one who saw Braithwaites in the camp. That's why the gang suspects that the Braithwaite woman took Jack. That line is what I used to base the end of the chapter on!

It was late in the day, and everyone was getting anxious to bury Sean while there was still some light remaining in the sky. Anne felt the pressure to hurry up and prepare Sean’s body for burial, but she could only do so much. Fixing up dead people was far more difficult than Anne anticipated and any attempts she made at putting Sean’s face back together was hopeless. Since she was short on time, as well as skill, she was forced to make do with what she could. Since his face wound was so massive, she just ended up wiping away all the blood and dirt from his body and placing bandages over the bullet hole in his head. It wasn’t perfect, but he didn’t look nearly half as bad as he did before.

Kieran came by to check on Anne. She was cleaning up her hands and her work area when he approached her.

“Hey.” Kieran said quietly, “You doing good? I don’t wanna rush you or nothing, but I think everyone is gettin’ real anxious to bury him. You need any help?”

“I’m done.” Anne said sheepishly. 

Kieran looked at the bandages around Sean’s head. “Oh. Oh, alright.” 

“You don’t have to pretend. I know he doesn’t look great. But it was the best I could do.”

Kieran rubbed his neck. “Nah, I wasn’t gonna say that. I just… I don’t get it. You bandaged him up?”

“Yeah, I figured it was the best way to try and cover the wound. Reconstructing his face did not work as well as I hoped. Does it look bad?” 

“I think it looks fine. But, maybe we should ask Karen? See what she thinks?”

“We could, but I don’t really know how much more I can do. This is out of my skill level, I’m afraid.”

“Then it’s fine. I’ll get some of the other fellers to help carry his body. Grave’s all dug, we just need to put him in it.” 

“Okay, thanks.” Anne said solemnly.

“You guys gonna have a funeral or somethin’? Do folks here usually do things like that? Or do you just bury your dead and move on?” 

“I’m not really sure. This is the first gang member death that I’ve been here for. I wasn’t in camp the last few times we lost somebody.” Anne sniffled. “I think that’s why I’m getting so emotional. I’ve seen plenty of people die before, but this is the first time that I’ve seen a dead body of someone I knew.”

“I’m sure that’s why.” Kieran said empathetically. 

There wasn’t a funeral for Sean in the traditional sense. The gang found a shady spot near some trees to bury him and marked the spot with a crude cross made from some old pieces of wood, to serve as a headstone. Reverend Swanson put coins over what was left of Sean’s eye lids before saying a prayer over his body.

Nobody said any words or made a speech for him. Everyone just stood around the grave silently while they watched Bill shovel dirt over the body. Anne wasn’t surprised, since it was rare for the gang to reveal their vulnerabilities so publically. Everyone here usually internalized their pain and chose to only express their emotions to specific people, in more private settings.

Anne understood how they felt. She wouldn’t be comfortable making some grand speech over how she felt about what happened. The only one she felt truly comfortable sharing her innermost thoughts to was Kieran. Anne wished Kieran was here with her while they buried Sean, but he didn’t feel comfortable being present at such an intimate event. He still felt like an outcast, and he didn’t want to intrude on such a private moment for the gang.

Kieran stayed in the heart of the camp by himself, while everyone else went off to say their last goodbyes to Sean. Anne knew how Kieran felt, since even she felt a bit awkward being there. It was mostly due to her shame about how little she could do to fix up his body before they buried him. Thankfully, nobody said anything negative and the burial went rather uneventfully.

When it was over, Anne stuck around to try and look for some wild flowers to pick for Sean. She wanted to try and make his grave look as nice as possible to try and make up for her shortcomings when it came to his body. It was almost dark when Anne finally gathered an acceptable handful of attractive flowers to display around the headstone. She must have been taking a long time, since Kieran made his over to the gravesite to try and look for her.

She was kneeling in the dirt arranging the flowers when Kieran put a hand on her shoulder. She jumped up in surprise at his touch, before relaxing when she realized it was him. 

“It’s okay, it’s just me.” Kieran kneeled in the dirt next to her. “You need some help?”

“If you want. I’m almost done.” Anne said as she handed Kieran a few flowers for him to place.

“It looks nice.”

“I guess so.” Anne said with shrug. “At the very least, it looks better than it did before.”

Kieran finished placing the few flowers Anne gave him, so he got up from his spot on the ground. He extended a hand out to Anne, and helped her on her feet as well. They started walking around the perimeter of the camp, near the gravesite, trying to stall their return to camp.

“Were you okay? Being by yourself, earlier?” Anne asked gently. “You weren’t lonely?” 

“You mean when you all went off to the funeral?” 

“Yeah.”

“It was fine. It was better for me to stay behind. I wouldn’t feel comfortable being there. I didn’t know Sean for too long, and I ain’t too sure if he even liked me or not.” 

“I guess that makes sense.” Anne said awkwardly, “Well, I just wanted to make sure you were okay. I was sad thinking about you being all alone at camp, while we all went off to have a moment together. I didn’t want you to feel left out.”

“I appreciate it. But I was alright. Plus, I wasn’t completely alone. There was those Braithwaite fellers around.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“While you guys were off burying Sean, I saw some fellers walking around near the camp.”

Anne stopped in her tracks. “Wait, you saw people near the camp? Around here?”

“Yeah. It’s okay though, they looked like them Braithwaite folks.” 

Anne put a hand over her mouth. “Did you tell anyone?”

“Just you. Why?”

“Kieran, you have to say something if you see things like that. This is serious.” Anne said as calmly as she could.

“What are you talkin’ about? They were here for a business matter, right? Don’t Arthur and Hosea have dealings with ‘em?” Kieran asked innocently. 

“We never bring anyone to camp, under any circumstances. If they had business with them, there is no way they would’ve done it here.” Anne said sternly. She started to nervously fidget with her hands. “This is bad.” 

“How do you know it’s somethin’ bad? Ain’t the gang on good terms with them two families?”

“No, they’re not. Not anymore at least. The Gray family were the ones who killed Sean. The meeting they were supposed to have in Rhodes was a set up. Which means, I’m guessing the Braithwaite family must be planning something similar.”

The gravity of the situation started to show on Kieran’s face. “Well, nobody told me! If I knew that, I-I would have said somethin’ e-earlier.”

“I just found out myself.” Anne said trying to calm him, “Someone mentioned it at the funeral… about Sean getting shot by the Grays.”

Kieran’s expression turned to panic. “I-I had no idea. It didn’t seem serious. They didn’t do nothin’. Just mainly looked around and stuff.”

“Where did they go when they were done?” 

“I ain’t too sure. I wasn’t paying too much attention to them.” Kieran said embarrassed.

Anne exhaled uneasily. “We have to tell someone. They might be planning something. Maybe an attack?” 

“An attack?” Kieran said with alarm in his voice. 

“I don’t know, maybe? They didn’t come here for nothing. They had a reason.” Anne paced around a bit before nervously speaking. “We have to tell Dutch. He needs to know that the Braithwaites know where our camp is.” 

“Okay, I’ll tell him.” Kieran said as he turned towards camp with urgency. 

“Wait!” Anne said quickly. “Maybe I should be the one to tell him.”

Kieran turned back to look at Anne. “Why?”

“To save you some grief. I don’t know what Dutch is going to do when you tell him. He might get really upset.” Anne’s voice was full of concern. “I think it would sound better…if I said it was me who saw them, not you. That way, you won’t get in trouble or anything.” 

“Anne….” Kieran looked touched that Anne was willing to take the fall for his mistake. “I can’t let you do that. It was my fault. I need to own up to it. If he’s gonna punish me for it, then so be it. I’m used to it. Colm used to beat me somethin’ fierce when he was angry with me. I’m sure I can handle Dutch.” 

Anne recoiled at the idea that Kieran used to get beaten regularly by his old leader. She wanted to save him from a similar fate this time around, but she was touched that he refused to let her fall on her sword for him. Despite how much she wanted to, she respected his wishes and didn’t push the issue further. 

“Okay. If that’s what you want.” Anne exhaled before quickly perking up with an idea, “You know what? Don’t tell Dutch. Tell Hosea instead. It’ll be better that way, he’s much more reasonable.”

“You think?” 

“Definitely. Just be honest with him and apologetic. He’ll understand.” 

“Won’t he tell Dutch, though?” 

“Probably. But he knows how to talk to Dutch, he’ll stop him from overreacting.”

“He will?” 

“I’m sure of it. Plus, how mad can everyone get? It’s not like anything happened or anybody got hurt. It was just an honest mistake.”

“You’re right.” Kieran said turning towards camp, “I’m going.” 

Anne followed behind him, but she didn’t go with him when he went to tell Hosea. She could tell that Kieran was ashamed by his mistake and he wanted to handle his mess on his own. Anne could understand why he felt this way, but she wished that he wouldn’t dwell on the issue so much. Like she said, it wasn’t a big deal in the grand scheme of things. Nothing bad has happened yet, and now that he was letting everyone know, the gang had time to get prepared for an attack.

Anne sat a table by herself, waiting for Kieran to finish talking to Hosea, when a worried Abigail came up to her.

“Anne?” Abigail said urgently. “You haven’t seen Jack, have you?”

Anne thought for a minute. “I think the last time I saw him was before we went and buried Sean.”

Abigail made a worried sound. “Shoot. That’s the last time I saw him, too. I told him to stay behind at camp while we went and I haven’t seen him since.” 

“He was at camp, while we at the funeral?” Anne felt dread creep up her spine. “Do you think he ran off, while we were gone?” 

“No. He ain’t the type to do that. I’m just so worried that something happened to him.” 

Anne’s eyes widened in fear, she cleared her throat before she spoke to try and mask the concern in her voice. “I-I’m sure he’s fine. But, maybe you should tell Hosea that you can’t find him. He’ll know what to do.” 

Abigail looked like she was about to cry. She nodded, before quickly running over to Hosea.

Anne felt her chest tighten. She had a bad feeling about this. She closed her eyes in frustration, and realized why the Braithwaites haven’t come to attack the camp yet. They didn’t need to, because they already did something much worse. They kidnapped Jack Marston. 


	17. Sophomore Slump

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> 'Cause I swear, I'd burn this city down to show you the light.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for not uploading as frequently as before! I will try to upload more regularly going forward! Thank you for reading! 
> 
> Spoiler Warning! Spoilers for chapter 3!

Abigail ran off to Hosea in a hurried panic. Anne wanted to tell her that there was a possibility that Jack might have gotten kidnapped by the Braithwaite men who were hanging around the camp earlier, but she felt like it was be best if Hosea would be the one to tell her. He had an ability to set minds at ease and his presence was far more calming than Anne’s. Unfortunately, it seemed as if Hosea’s soothing demeanor had no effect on Abigail. As soon as she learned about the possibility of Jack being kidnapped, she quickly stormed over to Dutch and started angrily pelting him with questions about Jack’s location. 

“Where is he? Where is my son? They took him, didn’t they? They took my son!” Abigail shouted at Dutch. 

Hosea, who came up right behind Abigail, was out of breath as he spoke, “We think the Braithwaite woman took him. That Kieran, saw a couple of fellers…sound like Braithwaite boys.” 

Abigail put her hands on her head, “Where’s my son, if anything…where is my son, Dutch van der Linde?”

Dutch responded by giving Abigail one of his classic reassuring speeches that he was famous for. Anne couldn’t deny that Dutch was a great speaker. Even though Dutch handled Arthur’s kidnapping with gross incompetence, the passionate way he spoke almost made Anne want to forget about that and instead believe that he would do better this time. This was the danger of Dutch van der Linde. His charisma was undeniable, and it was enough to make even the biggest skeptics overlook his flaws.

To Anne’s surprise, Dutch immediately gathered every man in camp to ride with him to storm the Braithwaite family estate and find Jack. This wasn’t what she was expecting from Dutch, considering his previous apathy towards Arthur’s kidnapping. But she was presently surprised that he finally decided to show some leadership this time around. Anne paused to consider that maybe she misjudged him after all.

Dutch left Micah and Kieran behind and ordered them to guard the camp, while the rest of the men went to find Jack. Anne was glad that Dutch still trusted Kieran enough to depend on him to protect the remaining members of the gang. She initially wondered if Kieran would get blamed for Jack’s disappearance, but so far this didn’t seem to be the case.

After the men rode off to Braithwaite estate, the camp felt eerily quiet. Everyone was still reeling from the aftermath of Sean’s death and now they had to grapple with the anxiety of a missing child. Anne initially went over to Abigail to try and comfort her, but it was clear that she wanted to be alone. 

Anne instead turned her attention to Kieran. She wanted to see how he was doing after everything that happened today. Kieran was standing at one of the guard posts holding a rifle, ready to shoot anyone who approached the camp. It was strange seeing him like this, as he was never assigned guard duty, nor did he ever carry a rifle. Anne loudly walked over to him, to make sure her presence was known, long before she even got close. She knew how jumpy he could get, and the way he was intently gripping the rifle made her worry that if she accidently startled him, he might shoot her by mistake. 

Kieran turned to look at her briefly before quickly turning back around to resume his watch. “Need somethin’?” 

Anne was surprised at his terse greeting, but didn’t show it in her voice, “Just came by to check on you. How are you doing?”

“Just tryin’ to keep watch,” Kieran said stiffly.

“I see that. You want some company?” Anne asked sweetly. 

“No thanks.”

Anne was taken aback by Kieran’s coldness, “Are you alright?”

Kieran turned and looked at her in disbelief, “Why would you ask me somethin’ like that?” 

“What do you mean? I was just making sure you’re okay.”

“A child is missing. Jack is missing. Course, I’m not okay.”

Anne cocked her head slightly. She had no idea he would be so bothered by Jack’s disappearance. He was very calm and optimistic when Arthur went missing, so she assumed he would react similarly this time around. Then again, a child is missing this time, rather than a full-grown adult, so it would be natural to be more concerned than usual.

“You’re right. I’m sorry. That was a stupid thing to ask. I know we’re all worried about Jack. But, we have to stay positive. We have to believe Dutch is going to bring him home.”

“What if he don’t? What if something bad happened to Jack? Or-or what if he never finds him? What then?”

“Kieran…we can’t think way.” Anne said gently 

“I can’t help it. That’s all I-I can think of. I can’t stop thinkin’ about that poor boy, probably scared half to death right now, and how it’s all my fault,” Kieran said in a guilt-stricken tone.

“Your fault? Kieran, it’s not your- “

“Yes, it is!” He said harshly, “It is my fault. I saw them Braithwaite folks in our camp and I did nothing. I-I could have stopped them, but I didn’t.  If anything happens to Jack…I-I couldn’t live with myself. I-I…”

Anne put a hand on Kieran’s shoulder and took the rifle out of his hands. He was gripping it so tightly that his fingers were getting white. Anne slung the gun around her shoulder and put her lips close to his ear. This was a visibly intimate act and they weren’t exactly hidden from view, so there was a chance that someone from camp could have seen them, but Anne didn’t care. Kieran was unraveling, and taking care of him was far more important than keeping up appearances. 

“I know.” Anne said soothingly, “But what’s done is done. You can’t go back and change what happened. All we can do is hope for the best. For all we know, Jack could be on his way home right now. We just have to stay positive.” 

Kieran turned his body away from Anne’s.

“I hear what you’re sayin’. I do.” Kieran said before flashing Anne a curt smile. “But I’ll only be good, once Jack’s back home. Till then…”

He grabbed his gun from her shoulder and turned to resume his guard position without even a glance in her direction. Anne had nothing to say. She completely understood where he was coming from. She was not good at handling guilt and it was becoming clear that Kieran didn’t either. She left him without another word and walked back to camp. All she could do was take her own advice and wait and hope for the best.

**************

Anne sat alone in her medical area trying to clean up the best she could. There was still a fair bit of Sean’s blood coating her supplies, and since she waited too long to clean it up, the blood had dried into a cakey mess and made it much more difficult for her to clean. Anne sighed deeply at the situation the gang was in. Sean’s body was barely cold before they were thrown another terrible ordeal to face.

She wondered how long she could keep living in a state constant turmoil. Before, when the gang’s drama got too hectic for her, she would just take some time away from the gang and only came back when she was ready. Living the outlaw life full-time, was starting to take its toll on her. She felt like she lacked the right temperament to be an outlaw, too emotional for a life of constant death and danger, and she wondered if Kieran felt the same.

The sound of horses riding into camp broke her concentration. She immediately ran towards the noise without any thought of her own safety. The horses could've easily been Braithwaites coming to attack the camp and she would've stupidly put herself in the direct sight of the enemy.

Luckily, this wasn’t the case and she was instead greeted by the sight of the gang members returning from their rescue mission. 

Unfortunately, the looks on their faces were not promising. She didn’t see Jack with them, and Dutch didn’t look nearly as triumphant and she was hoping. Before she could even open her mouth to inquire about Jack, Abigail ran towards the men in a sheer panic. It was clear that she also didn’t see her son and couldn’t help but think the worst. 

Dutch got off his horse and ran up to Abigail. He put and arm around her and spoke softly in her ear. Anne couldn’t hear what he was telling her, but she figured the news couldn’t be that bad, since Abigail’s reaction was more angry than anguished. Anne was hoping that Dutch would inform the rest of the gang about what’s going on, but he didn’t this time. To Dutch’s credit, he had enough decorum to keep matters about Jack mostly between his mother and father.

Dutch ordered Kieran to remain on guard for the rest of the night, since the rest of usual watchmen were exhausted from storming the Braithwaite estate. Almost everyone else went to bed shortly after. This was to be expected, considering the traumatic events that had just transpired.

Since most of the camp was asleep, Anne was tempted to try and see how Kieran was doing, but she remembered how cold he was to her earlier. She understood that he needed time to work through what he was feeling and it was obvious that he wanted to deal with this alone. Anne respected his wishes and didn’t bother him. Despite how tired she felt, she stayed up the rest of the night and kept an eye on Kieran from afar, to make sure he made it through the night okay.

Night passed uneventfully, and as the morning sun was threating to break into the darkness, Charles came up to Kieran to relieve him from his guard duty. Anne was barely awake when Kieran stepped down from his post. Only when she saw him get into his bedroll, she felt comfortable falling asleep.

**************

Kieran only had a few hours of sleep before the light of the bright morning sun started to bother his sleeping eyes. He felt emotionally exhausted, as well as physically, considering how late he stayed up last night. The camp was relatively quiet, as people weren’t doing their usual assigned work, save those on guard duty. He figured everyone needed some time off of work  to cope with the loss of Sean as well as Jack. 

As much as Kieran wanted to sleep, he knew that he couldn’t. He would do all his usual work assignments, as well as try and do extra to compensate for the others taking time off. Jack still hasn’t been rescued yet, and Kieran couldn’t help but blame himself for his kidnapping. He wasn’t sure how doing extra camp chores would help right this huge wrong, but he knew that it couldn’t hurt. Plus, it was good for him to stay as busy as possible. It was the only way to keep him sane. The guilt was already intrusive in his thoughts and he knew that if Jack wasn’t rescued soon, it would start to consume him. He looked across camp to see Anne still sleeping her bedroll. As he watched Anne sleep, he made a small promise to himself. He swore that he wouldn’t give himself a moment’s peace until they find Jack. If it meant keeping him from the woman he loved, so be it. Nothing would stop him from keeping his promise.


	18. Don't You Know Who I Think I Am

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They say quitters never win, but we walk the plank on a sinking ship.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Spoiler warning! Spoilers for the end of chapter 3! 
> 
> This whole chapter is based on a bit of dialogue I got in my playthrough, that had Kieran apologize to Abigail over Jack kidnapping. He basically blamed himself for Jack going missing and expresses to her the guilt he felt over his loss. It was a random encounter, and I'm not sure how to trigger it, but I thought it added a lot of character development for him.

Anne woke up later in the day and stretched comfortably in her bedroll. She glanced around camp to try and see where Kieran was, when she shot up and recalled what happened the previous day. The image of Sean’s dead body flashed before her eyes, as she remembered that Jack was still missing. Anne rubbed her face in frustration before getting out of bed. 

She got up to get some coffee and wondered how things could possibility get any worse. As she was pouring the hot beverage into a cup, she looked up and got her answer. 

“Hey Dutch. We got a problem.” Lenny said calmly to their gang leader. 

“Not a problem…visitors…a solution.”

Anne looked up to see two Pinkerton agents casually strolling into the camp.

“Good day, fine people.” One of the agents continued.

Anne dropped her cup at the sight of the two men. She always knew in the back of her mind that the law was always a threat. She even remembered hearing about Pinkertons being spotted at their last camp, near Valentine. But, hearing about them and seeing them were two completely different things. Plus, she had no idea how they managed to find them in this new location. She thought once they moved, they would be safe. She was wrong.

Anne felt her knees buckle in fear and couldn’t focus on what the agent was saying. She imagined nooses around the necks of every single person in the gang, including herself. They wouldn’t hang her. Would they? She wasn’t really an outlaw, but associating with gang members was technically illegal, so maybe in the eyes of the Pinkertons, she was. Her ears started ringing and the sounds of the world around her were beginning to fade.

In her fear, her legs started to fail her and she was about to lose her balance. A hand instinctively grabbed her tightly and stopped her from falling. She looked and saw that the hand belonged to Kieran. He steadied her with his grip on her arm and kept her upright.

He cocked an eyebrow at her, to silently ask if she was okay. Anne stood up straight and brushed his hand off her arm before nodding at him. She didn’t even realize Kieran was standing next to her before she fell, but nevertheless she was grateful that he was there to catch her.

“All of you will die. Run away from this place, you fools. Run!” The agent concluded.

Anne could tell that the rest of the gang, including Kieran, was unfazed by the Pinkerton’s warning. Anne didn’t share their apathy. The agents were openly threating the gang, and Anne believed they would make good on their promise. She looked at Kieran, who was staring at the men intently, with a hand on his gun. She sighed disappointedly at the sight of his pistol and was surprised by his reaction to agents. She thought he would be just as scared as she was, but this was clearly not the case. Kieran looked ready to fight and die for Dutch’s convictions.

When the agents finally made their exit, Anne let out a sigh of relief. Dutch sent out Arthur and John to go and find a new location for the camp to move to. Anne didn’t see the purpose of moving camp at this point. The law had found them twice already, what’s stopping them from finding the gang a third time? 

Miss Grimshaw sent everyone off to pack up their things in preparation for the big move. There was talk that the next camp location was most likely going to be further East, close to San Denis. Anne was grateful that they were moving closer to her apartment in city. It was comforting for her to know that she had somewhere nearby to flee to, if she ever needed. 

She wanted to try and talk to Kieran about her concerns about the law showing up, but he was busy helping to prepare for the move. Not only that, he had been so cold to her the previous night, she wondered if he would even be interested in speaking to her right now. After all, Jack was still missing. 

Anne grit her teeth in frustration before swallowing her emotions. There was nothing she could do, but go along with the gang to their new location in silence. Sitting down and having a serious conversation with Kieran would have to come later.

 *************

Arthur and John found a place called Shady Belle, near San Denis to move the camp. Being closer to the city was the best move for them, since that’s where Jack Marston had been taken. Kieran did his best to try and assist with the move, but he was distracted by the agonizing look on Abigail’s face. He hated how much she was suffering without her son, and he couldn’t help but feel responsible. 

As the gang finished settling into their new camp, Kieran saw that Anne was making a beeline towards him from across the way. He instinctively tried to turn away and avoid talking her. He wasn’t sure why, but the look on her face was making him feel anxious. She lightly grabbed his shoulder and turned him around so that he was facing her.

“Can we talk?” she whispered. 

“Where? It ain’t really safe to be wandering around outside the camp. With the gators, and all.” Kieran whispered back. 

That wasn’t exactly a lie. The wildlife around this new camp was much less forgiving and far more dangerous than the areas around the previous two camps. But Kieran was mostly saying this because he wanted to an excuse to not talk to Anne right now. She seemed to sense his hesitation and shot him an unconvinced look in return.

“I found a spot.” She said flatly. “Don’t worry, I already checked it for danger. Nothing’s going to attack you.”

“Alright.” Kieran said defeated.  “Lead the way.” 

He followed Anne as she took him to a spot past the old rundown mansion some of the gang members took residence in. There were a few shacks behind the mansion that weren’t being used so Anne took him behind one to shield them from the view of the camp. Anne didn’t waste any time before starting.

“What are we going to do?” she asked urgently. 

“What do you mean?” he replied just as urgent. 

“About the…the Pinkertons in our camp. They know where we are. They’re going to be back.”

“The Pinkertons? That’s what this is about? You’re worried ‘bout the law?” 

“Of course, I am!” Anne snapped back. “Do want to be arrested? Do you want to get shot?”

Kieran scoffed at her. “I can’t believe you.” 

“What?” 

“Jack is still missin’. We ain’t found him yet, and all you care about is them Pinkertons?”

“That’s not fair. I’m plenty worried about Jack, but I’m also worried about those agents. They’re a threat. You can’t deny that.” 

“The law is always a threat. We’re outlaws.” 

“Not like this, Kieran. Not like this.” Anne said anxiously, “I’ve known this gang for a long time, and they never, not ever, had government agents stroll through the camp like that.” 

“They ain’t government agents. They’re detectives or somethin’.” 

“That’s not the point.” Anne said in a slightly raised tone, “I’m scared of them. I’m scared they’re going to kill everyone here.”

Anne had tears starting to form in her eyes. Kieran softened a bit. 

“It’s okay. Anne, relax.” Kieran put a hand on her shoulder, “We’ll figure it out. Once Jack is back, we can talk about what to do.” 

“Why then? Why can’t we talk about it now?” 

“Cause…it don’t seem right for us to be worrying so much about ourselves right now. Not when a child is missing.” 

“I hear what you’re saying, but Arthur and Dutch are already out looking around San Denis. They know who has him and they’re not worried. They’ll bring him back soon.” 

“Alright then, we can talk about it soon.” 

“No. Not soon. I want to talk about it now.”

“And I just told you. Not until they bring him back.”

“Why do we need to wait? What does that accomplish? It’s not like we can do anything personally to speed up Jack’s rescue. I don’t see why we can’t worry about the law, and Jack at the same time.”

“Maybe you can, but I can’t. All I can think about is Jack. What happened to him…i-it’s all my fault…” 

“Kieran, it’s not your-“

“Stop sayin’ that! It is my fault. Don’t deny it.”

Anne tone softened. “Alright. Sorry. If you feel like it’s your fault, then…fine. But that doesn’t change our current situation. The law is coming. You know they are. They found us at Horseshoe Overlook, they found us at Clemens Point, they’ll find us here. We have to figure out something out.”

“Like what? Leave? Anne, you know that I can’t. Colm is still around. He’ll kill me.”

“You don’t think the Pinkertons are the killing type?”

“Honestly, I’d rather take my chances with them. A quick bullet to the head is nothing compared to the slow death I’d get from Colm. He’d make me suffer. Make you suffer, if he ever got his hands on you.”

“So what, then? What do we do? It’s not safe here. It’s not safe out there. It’s not safe anywhere! God, Kieran…I don’t know what to do.” Anne said as tears streamed down her face.

Kieran felt his throat tighten up. He was so worked up over his guilt over Jack that he didn’t realize how much Anne truly feared the law. He didn’t quite understand why the agents scared her so much. To him, the law was never really a cause for concern. He had a low standing in every single gang he was a part of, and he knew the agents couldn’t care less about those at the bottom rung of the ladder. In his experience, the law almost never wasted their energy tracking down doctors or stable workers and he was confident that these men would be no exception. They made it clear that they wanted Dutch and Dutch, alone. He wasn’t worried, and he strongly felt like Anne shouldn’t be either.

“I don’t want you to worry anymore. Alright? But, if you’re really that scared, maybe you should go back to San Denis. Stay there for a while.” Kieran said casually.

“You want me to leave?” Anne asked with a slightly hurt tone.

“Yeah, if you’re so afraid of the law, you should go.” Kieran said in a tone harsher than he expected. He didn’t know if it was the stress or the guilt he felt about Jack, but he wasn’t feeling like his usual gentle self.

“I’m not leaving. If you’re staying, then so am I. Someone needs to look out for you.” 

Kieran looked away shamefully. He didn’t want her to care about him right now. His guilt was gnawing at his core and he didn’t want her to feel scared on his behalf. Instead, he wanted her to be thinking about Jack, the innocent child who truly deserved her concern, not him.

“Don’t. I don’t want you worryin’ ‘bout me. Not now.” 

“I can’t help it.” Anne said as she put a hand on Kieran’s arm. “I care about you too much.”

Kieran moved his arm away from her touch. “Maybe you shouldn’t.”

Anne looked stunned at what he said. Kieran could tell she was hurt, and before he could stop himself, he turned and walked away from her. He didn’t want to leave, but he couldn’t stand being there for a second longer. He couldn’t bear seeing the pain in her eyes and knowing he was the cause of it. 

Kieran instantly felt regret for saying what he did, but in that moment, he felt utterly undeserving of her affection and the words just slipped out. He wanted to go back and apologize, but his feet he kept walking further and further away from her. Deep down, he knew that he couldn’t take back what he said, and decided to live with the consequences, come what may.


	19. Calm Before the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The calm before the storm, set it off and the sun burnt out tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! We have finally moved to Chapter 4 of the story! So, spoiler warning for Chapter 4 from here on out! 
> 
> By the way, the dialog between Kieran and Abigail is based on a random encounter I triggered in my playthrough. It was the dialog that made me totally fall in love with him!

Anne was speechless. She was too stunned to form a response or stop him as he walked away from her. Kieran’s words still lingered in her head, long after he said them. Despite her shock, she forced her feet to move, and started heading back to camp. She keep her head down to avoid showing the distress on her face to those around her. She sat in her medical area and pretended to look at her supplies. 

She understood why Kieran said what he did. She was aware of how much the guilt was weighing on him, and she empathized with his pain. But it didn’t make what he said hurt any less. She wanted to be there to comfort him during this difficult time and she hated how much he pushed her away. Anne was so lost in her thoughts, she didn’t notice Arthur was standing behind her. When she finally became aware of his presence she shot up to her feet in embarrassment. 

“I’m sorry.” Anne said while straightening out her clothes, “I didn’t see you there.” 

Arthur shrugged, “I wasn’t standing here long. You seem distracted, everything okay?”

“I’m fine.” Anne said casually. “Did you need something?”

“I was just letting you know that we found the guy who has Jack. We’re going to get him now. I don’t think he’s hurt or anythin’ like that, but I wanted to make sure you’re prepared in case he is.” 

“Yeah, I’m well stocked. I appreciate the advanced notice…” Anne’s voice trailed off.

“Miss Anne?” Arthur put a hand on Anne’s arm to get her attention. 

“Huh? Oh sorry. I lost my train of thought.” Anne shook her head slightly, “Yes, thank you for the notice.” 

“Alright, what is? What’s bothering you? Go on, tell me.”

Anne looked at Arthur sheepishly. “Everything’s fine. It’s just, Kieran…”

“The O’Driscoll boy? You two still seeing each other?” Arthur interrupted.

“Sort of, I think he wants some space from me…” 

“Wait. He wants space from _you_? I’m sorry, that don’t make sense to me.” Arthur interrupted again. 

“Whether or not it makes sense…that’s how he feels. He wants space.”

“That ain’t right. He should know how lucky he is that you’re even willing to give him the time of day. No, that don’t sit right with me. I’ll talk to him. Set him straight.”

Anne grabbed Arthur’s arm. “No, please don’t. It isn’t like that.”

“Well, what’s it like then?”

Anne explained everything Kieran was feeling about Jack and the guilt he’s been wrestling with these past few days. As Anne spoke, sympathy grew on Arthur’s face, but it quickly faded and was replaced with a hardened look.

“Look, I get it. I do. But that don’t mean he should be taking it out on you. If really you want my advice…I’d say cut him loose. He’s really not worth the hassle.”

Anne looked at the ground. Arthur put his hand on Anne’s chin and forced her to make eye contact with him. “I mean it. He’s not worth it. Nobody here is. You could do much better than this lot.” 

Anne gently brushed Arthur’s hand away from her face. “Maybe.”

“No, not maybe. You can, and you should. More than likely, he’s gonna die, and not of old age. He’s gonna die violent. You don’t want to go through all that mess. Losing someone you love, like that.” Arthur broke eye contact to hide the emotion building in his eyes.

Anne empathetically put a hand on Arthur’s arm. “I know. You bring up some valid points, and I appreciate you saying that. You’re always looking out for me.” 

“Course. You’re a valuable asset. We got to protect you. Especially from them O’Driscolls.” Arthur said as he pointed at Kieran from across the camp. Kieran was feeding the horses and oblivious to Arthur’s obvious gesture at him “They’re bad men. Real bad.” 

Anne quickly grabbed Arthur’s arm and pushed it down. “Alright! I get it!” She said with a laugh, before clearing her throat. “You should go.”

“I should.”

“Bring him back safely.”

“I ain’t got a choice. Abigail will kill us all, if I don’t.”

“I wouldn’t expect anything less.” Anne said as she waved goodbye to Arthur.

Anne sat back down in her medical area and prayed for Jack’s safe return. She sat there for a while, thinking about what Arthur said. Deep down, she knew he was right. Staying with the gang wasn’t a choice for Kieran, it was his only option. For a while, Anne had accepted this reality, but that all changed once she realized how close the law was from closing in on them.

Just as she finished her thought, she noticed Kieran walking over to Abigail. Abigail was sitting at a table with Karen, when he approached. 

“Miss Abigail…I just wanna say something…I’m sorry…I’m sorry about Jack…now I saw some of those Braithwaite fellers…I had no idea… I thought it was a business matter, I know Arthur and Hosea had-had dealings with them…didn’t seem serious…and I don’t know anybody who would kidnap a boy.” Kieran told her nervously. Abigail didn’t show any emotion on her face as he spoke. 

“I feel like a fool… I would gladly give my life for his…not that it matters, or that it works that way…but I’m sorry… I just wanted to say that.” Kieran concluded. Abigail didn’t respond, so he just awkwardly walked away from her when he was finished talking. 

Anne bit the inside of her cheek. She didn’t know that Kieran was even planning on saying anything to Abigail. She wanted to go over and praise him for what he did, but things were still a bit awkward between the two of them. He had yet to make an effort to come and talk to her, and every time she tried to speak to him, he shut her down.

She figured it would be best to give him space. She hoped that Jack would be home soon and things would start to get back to normal. Anne slumped back in her chair and realized how much she missed talking to him. Watching him apologize to Abigail, reminded her why she fell in love with him in the first place.

He wasn’t like the others in the gang. He was a gentle soul, who was wasn’t afraid of being vulnerable, or apologetic. Traits like those weren’t common in most people she had met before and were even rarer amongst people in places like this. She knew his temperament wasn’t ideal for living the outlaw life but she knew there wasn’t anything she could do to make things better for him.

For Kieran, every choice was a bad one and in every scenario she could think of, his life would always somehow be in danger. Anne knew she would eventually go crazy if she kept focusing on the hopelessness of his situation and decided to try and take her mind off of it. She instead did what Kieran wanted her to do all along and focus all her worrying on Jack. It didn’t make her feel any better, but it at least got her mind off of Kieran.

**************

It was late at night, when the sound of horses were making its way into camp. Dutch, John and Arthur returned from their mission and it appeared that the gang’s luck was starting to turn around. They were successful in their endeavor and they finally brought Jack Marston home, safe and sound. Abigail was overjoyed by the sight of her son, and Anne couldn’t help but feel the same. It was the dead of night, and the sky was pitch black, which made seeing the facial expressions of those around her a bit difficult.

She couldn’t see Kieran’s reaction to Jack’s safe return, but she had to imagine that he was feeling more than relieved. The gang started to crack open crates of booze to celebrate the return of Jack. Anne rolled her eyes at the sight. She wasn’t a huge fan of alcohol, mostly because she felt like it would be irresponsible for someone in her position to consume any. 

She quite enjoyed drinking when she lived in the city, but out here, where the nearest hospital was hours away, she knew she would have to maintain her wits at all times, in case of an emergency. She would never forgive herself if someone died because they weren’t able to get proper medical care in camp, because the only doctor around was too drunk to operate.

Everyone in camp knew this about her and respectfully never tried to persuade her to drink against her wishes. She couldn’t say the same for Kieran, as she noticed that Karen was pressuring him to get drunk with the rest of them. At first he seemed hesitant, but eventually he started drinking enough to satisfy Karen’s encouragement. 

Anne smiled to herself at the sight. She’s never seen Kieran drunk before and she couldn’t help but laugh at his slurred speech and loose tongue. She wished things weren’t still weird between the two of them. A night like this, would’ve been a perfect opportunity to get some alone time with him. Since everyone was so drunk, it would be easy for them to slip away without anyone noticing. 

Anne refused to let this opportunity to go to waste. She boldly walked over to a drunk Kieran, and put her hands on his shoulders to steady his balance. 

“Hey.” She said quietly.

“Anne!” Kieran shouted.

Anne quickly put a hand over his mouth to prevent him from accidently saying anything dubious within earshot of the whole gang.

“You’re drunk, aren’t you?” She asked in a joking matter.

“I-I don’t think…so. Maybe. Maybe a little.” Kieran said drunkenly.

“I think you are. You can barely stand. Here, come with me.” Anne took Kieran by the hand and led him to a secluded area in the forests surrounding the camp. Anne leaned him against a tree so he kept his balance. “This okay?” 

“Yeah… Sure is nice out here.” Kieran said slurring his words.

“It is.” Anne hesitated before shyly speaking, “I…um…I missed you.”

Kieran’s face looked like it was starting to sober up. “I missed you. I-I’m sorry.” He said trying to form his words the best he could. He looked a little nauseous, and it seemed like it was having an effect on his speech.

“You okay?”

“Not sure, I think I might of overdid it.”

“I can see that.” Anne said with a smirk.

“I’m guess I ain’t the drinkin’ type.” Kieran said sleepily. 

“Come with me to the medical wagon, I have stuff to settle your stomach.”

Kieran barely took one step forward before he started to stumble. “You know what? Maybe I’ll stay here, I can’t really walk so good.”

“That’s fine,” Anne said as she leaned him against the tree, “Stay here, and I’ll bring it over to you. I won’t be long, I promise.”

Kieran shot her a shy look. “Thank you…” He looked like he wanted to say more, but his embarrassment got the better of him.

Anne gave him a small nod of understanding before she left to get the medicine. When Anne entered the heart of the camp, she saw that most of the gang was either passed out or very inebriated. She knew that they would definitely be feeling the effects of their drinking in the morning, so Anne took the time to craft some extra tonics so that she would be well stocked to treat their symptoms. 

The extra bit of crafting took longer than Anne expected, but she knew Kieran didn’t mind waiting, especially if she doing something to benefit the gang. When she was finished, she grabbed the tonics and headed back to the spot she left Kieran just moments ago. However, when she arrived, she saw that he was no longer leaning against the tree. She looked around for him, but there was no sign of him anywhere. 

“Kieran!” Anne shouted into the forest, but there was no response.  

This was odd, considering he was barely able to walk competently in his drunken state, so it was unlikely he would’ve been able to wander off somewhere far. She wondered if he was attacked by an animal, considering the all new predatory creatures that lurked near the campsite, but if that happened, she would have heard him scream or call out for help. Instead, it was like he vanished without a trace.

Anne pulled out a match from her pocket and struck it, to offer her some light to help her see in the darkness. She held the small flame up to the tree that she left him at, and noticed there were several muddy footprints around the base of the tree. She looked closer and realized that these footprints were made recently and based on the sheer amount, she assumed that it must’ve taken several men to leave that many indentations behind in the mud. 

Anne took a closer look at the tree and noticed a small amount of blood stained on the bark. She wondered if the blood belonged to Kieran. Anne almost collapsed at the thought, and started to hyperventilate as she realized the likelihood that he simply wandered off was growing slimmer and slimmer. Instead, she had to come to terms with possibility that Kieran might be in danger.

In her head, Arthur’s words from earlier wouldn’t stop ringing in her ears. “He’s gonna die, and not of old age. He’s gonna die violent.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is speculation on my part, but did Kieran go missing the night the gang celebrated Jack's return? Because, in my playthrough the last time I saw Kieran in the camp was the night Jack was returned to the group. So, that's why I chose to make Kieran go missing that night, but I'm not exactly sure when it happened in the game.


	20. Where Did The Party Go?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So let's fade away together one dream at a time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for keeping with the story! It means a lot to me! Spoiler Warnings from Chapter 4 inbound!

Anne ran back to camp to try and get some help once she realized that there was a possibility that Kieran was taken. She initially wondered if the Pinkertons were responsible for Kieran’s disappearance, but quickly dismissed that theory, when she realized that sweeping people up in the middle of the night didn’t seem like their style. If they were going to arrest members of the gang, they would do it in one fell swoop, rather than slowly take people one at a time.

That’s when a pit started to grow in her stomach. She wondered if this wasn’t a random attack at all, but rather a calculated act of revenge. Anne considered the possibility that the O’Driscolls somehow found the location of their camp, and targeted Kieran specifically. This would be the absolute worst case scenario, and Anne started to panic at the thought of Kieran in the hands of Colm O’Driscoll.

As Anne entered the camp, she was hit with a second horrible realization. She saw that almost  everyone was either passed out in random spots on the ground or slumped over in chairs. It was then that Anne remembered that everyone was up late celebrating Jack’s return, with copious amounts of alcohol. As far as she could remember, everyone had been drinking that night, and there wasn’t anyone sober enough she could ask for help.

Anne almost collapsed in despair, until she caught sight of Charles sleeping in his bedroll. She ran over to him and started to impulsively shake him awake. Since he was asleep in his tent, she concluded that he was the most sober one there, since he actually managed to sleep somewhere appropriate, rather than pass out in the dirt like the rest of his fellow gang members.

Charles woke up in a groggy state and started to rub his eyes.“Wh-what is it?” Charles said with alarm, until he realized it was Anne shaking him awake. The concern on his face quickly turned into a look of confusion and surprise. “Anne? Is that you?”

“Yes, Charles. I’m sorry to wake you, but I really need your help.” Anne said quickly.

“Me? You need my help? With what?” Charles said as he started to get out of his bedroll.

Anne figured Charles must’ve been surprised to see her waking him up. They haven’t really spoken to each other before, save for the times she provided him with medical attention. Anne always liked Charles, but he wasn’t a very sociable man. He usually kept to himself and wasn’t a fan of small talk. Because of this, she didn’t really know anything about him, except for the fact that he was a skilled tracker and the one the gang calls on if they ever need someone found. 

“I know we don’t really know each other well enough for me to ask this of you, but I need your help. It’s Kieran. I think something happened to him. I think he was taken.” 

“What makes you say that?”

“Please, come with me.”

Anne led Charles out to the spot where she saw Kieran last. She explained why she believed he’s been kidnapped and showed him the evidence to support her claims. Charles agreed that the footprints were a bad sign and the blood on the tree bark basically confirmed her fears. 

“These footprints are still fresh. I should be able to track them.” said Charles.  

Anne let out a sigh of relief. “Please, will you try and find him? I’m begging you.” 

Anne took out an impressive stack of cash from her billfold and put it into Charles’ hand.

“Here. Take this. I know we don’t really know each other that well, which is why I don’t feel comfortable asking a favor from you without giving you something in return. This is all I have right now, but I can get more if you need.” Anne said quickly.

Charles didn’t react to the gesture, but he almost immediately put the bills back into her hand. “I don’t want your money. I’ll find him for you, but you don’t have to pay me.”

“What? No, please. I’m asking a lot from you. It wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t pay you something for your trouble.”

“You already have. You’ve treated a lot of wounds for me in the past without ever asking for anything in return.”

“Yes, but those times weren’t favors. I was just doing my job.” 

“And this is _my_ job.” Charles said gesturing to footprints, “I track things, I fight, and I help people if they need it. This isn’t a favor, I’d do it for anyone here.” 

“Oh really? You’d do something like this for Micah if he asked?” 

“I didn’t say that.” Charles said with a small smirk. 

Anne briefly smiled at him in return, before concern started to creep back on her face.

“Right.” Charles said with nod. “I should go, before the trail goes cold.”

Charles took a rifle and a lantern with him, and got on his horse before heading off in the direction of the footprints. Anne watched as Charles rode off into the darkness of night. 

After Charles left, Anne started to pace around camp nervously. She was so concerned for Kieran’s safety she felt like she was going to be sick. Anne hated that things had been awkward between her and Kieran these last few days and wondered if those weird moments between the two of them would be that last moments they would ever have together.  

No. Anne refused to think that way. She trusted Charles and she was confident in his abilities. She knew that if there was anyone here who could get Kieran back safely, it would be him. 

******** 

Charles returned to camp a few hours later. Anne saw him ride in, but her heart sank when she realized he was riding in alone. She did her best to hide the panic on her face as she braced herself for the worst. Charles walked up to her with a grim look and gestured for her to sit down. They sat a table and Anne looked at him expectantly. Charles took a pause before speaking.

“I found him. I followed the trail and you were right, he was taken. Colm O’Driscoll has him.” 

“Oh god, is he…” Anne couldn’t say the words. She swallowed hard and forced herself to speak. “Dead? Is he dead?”

“I don’t think so, he’s tied up in the middle of the O’Driscoll camp. He doesn’t look good, but I think he’s alive.” 

Anne felt a mix of relief and fear wash over her. On one hand, she was glad that Kieran was alive, but on the other she couldn’t help but worry about what the O’Driscolls have planned for him. “So what now? What do we do?”

“Nothing. There’s nothing I can do right now. He’s in the middle of an enemy camp surrounded by guards and there was no way for me to rescue him. I can’t shoot out an entire army of men by myself.” Charles said plainly.

“No…no of course not. I understand. So, that’s it then? He can’t be saved?” Anne said in shaky voice.

“Not exactly. I just can’t do it alone. If I can get some of the others to come with me, we could probably get him out of there. You need to let Dutch know what’s going on, he’ll be the one to round up the men I need.” 

Anne looked around at the passed out gang members. “Look at them, they all drank way too much tonight. Even if Dutch orders them to go, they’re in no position to go off on some rescue mission. They probably wouldn’t even be able to make it on their horses.”

“I know.” Charles said compassionately. “I’m sorry.”

Anne started to openly weep. She was trying to hold back her tears, but she couldn’t control herself. She felt helpless and wanted Kieran back so badly. She kept thinking of all the horrible things Colm O’Driscoll was going to do to him. Part of her wanted to beg Charles to put his life in danger to try and rescue Kieran, but she knew it would be selfish of her to ask. Not only that, knowing Kieran, the last thing he would want would be for someone to get hurt for his sake.

Charles tried not to show it, but he looked somewhat confused over how emotional Anne was getting. She remembered that nobody besides Arthur knew the relationship she had Kieran, so she figured her reaction to his kidnapping probably looked odd.

“I’m sorry. I don’t mean to cry like this. It’s just…me and Kieran. You probably guessed by now, but we were, together. Romantically.”

“Oh. No, I-I didn’t know. I had no idea.” 

“That’s why I was desperate for you to help me find him. It’s because I’m in love with him.” 

“I can see that.” Charles stood up from his seat. “Look, I’m gonna go. I’ll try and get him back on my own. I can’t make any promises, but I’ll try and rescue him.”

Anne grabbed Charles by the arm to stop him, “No, stop! I can’t let you do that.”

“I want to, I didn’t know you two…were…like that. That changes things. I want to try and bring him back to you.” 

“Charles…you probably hear this all the time, but you really are _such_ a good person. Which is why I don’t want you to go. Going up against all those O’Driscolls would be suicide. I can’t let you do it. It would be a sin against my conscious, and I know Kieran would feel the same.”

“So, you don’t want me to do anything?”

Anne exhaled hard. She closed her eyes and thought hard about the ramifications of what she was about to say. “I do, but I don’t want you to go alone. I think we should wait until morning and have Dutch round everyone up then. Hopefully, there will be at least someone around who’ll be well enough to help you fight.” 

“I don’t know. We shouldn’t wait that long, he might not make it till morning.”

Anne swallowed hard. “No, I think he will. Kieran told me a lot about Colm O’Driscoll, the type of man he is. In his eyes, Kieran is a traitor. He’s going to give him a traitor’s death. A slow and painful one. He’s probably not going to die for a least a few more days.”

“What if you’re wrong, and he dies? Would that not be a sin against your conscious?”

“It would, but I have to take that chance. Charles, I can’t let you risk your life.” Anne said in a steady voice.

Charles looked convinced and nodded in agreement. Her words sounded confident, but in reality she was internally on her knees and praying to every god she could think of that she was making the right choice.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P.S. I love Charles so much. He's so great, I couldn't resist making him and ally to Anne.


	21. What a Catch, Donnie

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've got troubled thoughts and a self-esteem to match

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoy the chapter! ^_^
> 
> Spoiler alert! I wrestled with idea of keeping my story in canon to the game, but in the end I couldn't bring myself to do it! So, it's official! Canon divergence begins here!

Anne convinced Charles to head back to sleep, so he would be well rested for Kieran’s rescue mission in the morning. Anne chose to stay up to try and wait for a good time to ask Dutch for help with the Kieran situation. Charles offered to be the one to stay up instead, since Anne hadn’t slept in quite a while, but she insisted that she be the one to remain awake. Besides, it’s not like she could realistically manage to fall asleep under the circumstances, anyways.

Anne and Charles both agreed that asking favors from Dutch was a delicate matter. Some days, he was quite easy going and in other times he could be rather unsympathetic. Anne felt like it was better to play it safe and ask Dutch for help after he got a full night sleep. It was agonizing waiting for him to wake up, but she wanted to make sure he was in the best frame of mind before even thinking of bothering him. But, Anne was starting to get impatient waiting for him and even considered throwing caution to the wind and waking up Dutch prematurely.

As that thought crossed her mind, she noticed a faint flicker of lamplight go on in the mansion. Anne shot up at the sign that someone was awake, and she quickly ran inside and hoped that it was Dutch making the light. When she ran inside, she was greeted by the sight of a half-awake Dutch van der Linde rubbing his face. He looked surprised to see Anne, as it was rare for her to spend time in the house, especially so early in the morning. 

“Miss Anne, you’re up early.” Said Dutch.

“I’m not. I’m up late.” Anne replied. “You’re up early, though. You didn’t drink last night?”

“I did, but I know my limits. You won’t catch me passed out on the ground like those fools out there.” Dutch said with a friendly tone.  

Anne shot him a friendly look back, but she wasn’t thrilled at having to appeal to Dutch for help right now. She was furious at him by the way he handled Arthur’s kidnapping, but she was also pleasantly surprised at the way he handled Jack’s. So, she felt like asking him for help could go either way. Nevertheless, she didn’t have much of a choice, so she swallowed her pride and began to speak.

“Of course. You’ve always been smart about things like that.” Anne said in an attempt try and stroke his ego.

“I’d like to think so.” Dutch said with amusement, before looking back at Anne. “Anyways, was there something you needed?" 

“Dutch, I think we have a problem. You know that Kieran? The O’Driscoll? Well, he’s been kidnapped by Colm. They took him from here and they’re keeping him prisoner at a camp nearby.”

“What?” 

“Colm O’Driscoll, took Kieran. He has him.” Anne said, trying to act calm. 

“How do you know all this?” 

“Charles told me. He found a trail the O’Driscolls left behind and followed it. He knows where they’re holed up. He can show you.” 

Dutch though for a moment before speaking. “Alright, well thank you for letting me know. I’ll be sure to ask him about it.” 

“Ask him now. I can go get him. He can take you there, right now.”

“I appreciate the offer, but don’t trouble yourself. In fact, we don’t really have time to be worried about that old rivalry. We got a lot of things cooking in San Denis at the moment, and once we get the money from that town, we’ll never see Colm again. Cause we’ll be gone. Far, far away from here.”

“What about Kieran? Colm has him.”

“Yes, that is unfortunate. But I can’t be sending men off on any missions like that, right now. We’re already stretched thin enough with all the jobs in San Denis. We don’t have the resources. Besides, how do you know Kieran got taken at all? Maybe he left with the O’Driscolls willingly?”

Anne almost screamed at Dutch for accusing Kieran of something so heinous. She felt her blood boiling at Dutch’s accusation and was in danger of raising her voice at him. Anne was grateful she had enough self-control that she was able to stop herself from doing so. Anne choked back her anger and softened her voice.

“I don’t believe that’s the case. Charles saw the camp with his own eyes. He said that Kieran was tied up and obviously a prisoner.” 

“Still, might be a trap. We can’t have men going off and running into traps, when they need to be out making money.”

_Running into traps? Oh, like that parley you insisted on going to? Do you mean traps like those?_ Anne thought to herself in irritation.

“We need money, lots of it. We can’t focus on anything else right now. I’m sorry Anne, but the answer is no.” Dutch concluded.

“You need money? I’ll give you some. My family has plenty. If I pay you, will you do It then?” Anne blurted out in desperation. 

Dutch’s eyes narrowed in curiosity. “How much are we talking?” 

Anne instantly regretted saying what she did. It’s true, her family was very wealthy and to some extent, so was she, but the last thing she wanted was for Dutch to know that about her. She never fully trusted Dutch when it came to her family and their money. A small part of her always feared that if he ever learned how well off her family truly was, he would try and rob her parents or somehow use her to try and swindle them. 

Unfortunately because of what she said, it seemed like Dutch was started to suspect her wealth. Anne knew that if she wanted to keep her secret, she would have to try and backpedal her statement. She quickly came up with a lie to try and throw him off the scent.

Anne took off the necklace she was wearing and held it out to Dutch. “This is the most expensive thing I own. It’s a family heirloom. I’ll give it to you, if you go and rescue Kieran.”

Dutch’s held the necklace in his hand. As he examined it, his steadfast expression immediately changed to one of amusement. “Oh, sweet Anne. I don’t doubt that necklace is worth a lot to you, but the jobs we’re planning in San Denis are going to pay out at least four times what this is worth.” 

Dutch spoke in the same tone you would speak to a child trying to buy something from a store with pretend money. As condescending as he was being, Anne was relieved by his reaction. She pretended like her necklace was the most valued thing she owned, when in reality, it was a cheap gift that an old boyfriend gave her in grade school. But it seemed like a good enough lie to convince him that she wasn’t as wealthy as she actually was.

“You’re right.” Anne said taking the necklace back. “Still, I can’t help but worry about Kieran. Charles is worried too. If I have your permission, I’ll be asking around camp for help with this situation, if you don’t mind.”

“Oh, I don’t mind, I’m just not sure how much luck you’ll have finding help.”

“I know, but I have to try. With your permission, of course.”

“You’re free to do as you like. Just don’t come back asking for me to order any of my men to help you. They have to do it voluntarily.”

“That’s fair. Thank you Dutch.”

“Always a pleasure, Miss Anne.”

Anne exited the house in frustration. She was angry that Dutch wasn’t willing to help Kieran, but she also wasn’t surprised, considering how he failed to help Arthur when he was in the same situation. Speaking of Arthur, Anne wondered where he was. He wasn’t passed out on the ground anymore, so she wondered if he had woken up. She quickly scanned the camp and saw him pouring himself a cup of coffee. Anne ran over to him at alarming speed. 

“Arthur! Arthur, I need your help.” 

Arthur almost dropped his coffee in surprise. “Settle down, Miss Anne. What is it?” 

Anne explained to Arthur everything that happened the night before and her plans with Charles. Arthur seemed willing to help for the most part, despite the fact that it was painfully obvious that he was suffering from a massive hangover from the night before. Anne made him sit down and drink a tonic while she went to wake up Charles to bring him into their conversation. 

Charles sat with them and explained to Arthur the setup of the O’Driscoll camp and what the guard situation was like. Based on the amount of O’Driscolls on watch, they strategized on the best ways to minimize the danger to Kieran. They eventually agreed on a plan that involves one of them creating some kind of distraction while the other sneakily grabs Kieran and makes a run for it.

“That’s it? You only need two people? You guys sure?” Anne asked cautiously.

“I ain’t sure we got much of a choice. Most people ain’t willing to stick their necks out for an O’Driscoll, especially if the O’Driscoll ain’t been a part of the gang for very long.” Arthur said as he poured a headache tonic into his coffee.

“He’s right. Folks here listen to Dutch, and If Dutch isn’t willing to give the order, we’re on our own. Besides, we don’t have time to wait around trying to convince more to join us. We should leave, as soon possible.” Charles said getting up from his chair.

“I ain’t done with my coffee, yet.” Arthur said gruffly.

“Hey, take it easy with that stuff. My tonics are potent. You should try and pace yourself.” Anne said sternly.

Arthur looked at her blankly before quickly downing the entire cup in one gulp. “I tried.”

Anne rolled her eyes, but gave him a bottle to take with him for the road anyways. “Here. Just in case you start feeling sick on the way.” 

Arthur nodded approvingly at the bottle before he and Charles left on their mission to go get Kieran back. Almost immediately after they left, Anne felt exhaustion start to kick in. She was long overdue for some rest, but she was too worried to sleep. Anne got in her bedroll anyways since she knew that the responsible thing to do would be to try and sleep. If Kieran… No. _When_ Kieran makes it back to camp, who knows what shape he’s going to be in. He might require hours of treatment and her body would need to be well rested for her to be able to perform her duties properly.

Anne came to regret falling asleep. As she slept, she kept having a recurring nightmare of Kieran’s mangled body riding into camp on his horse. In some dreams his body was horribly disfigured and in others, his rode in without his head. Her dreams were so vivid, that when she felt someone trying to wake her, she screamed in horror at the sensation of being touched.

Anne eyes shot open and she looked up to see that it was Mary-Beth who woke her up.

“Anne! Anne, we need you!” Mary-Beth said in a panic. 

“What is it, Mary-Beth?” Anne said trying to adjust her eyes to the sunlight. 

“It’s Kieran!” 

Anne jumped out of her bedroll. “Oh god. Kieran… is-is he alive?” 

“Yes. He’s alive, but…”

“But what?” Anne almost screamed back.

Mary-Beth shook her head. “It's not good.”

Anne shot out of her bedroll and barreled past Mary-Beth to try and make her way to Kieran. She saw Arthur and Charles carrying what looked like Kieran over to her medical area. She saw that Arthur was bleeding from his arm and Charles had a cut on his face. Anne’s mind started racing at all the injuries that needed her attention. Part of her wanted to start treating Charles and Arthur’s needs first, since they were the ones who put their lives in danger for her at a huge personal cost.

But once she took one look at Kieran, she knew that paying her debt back to Arthur and Charles would have to come later. Mary-Beth was right, it was not good.


	22. The Phoenix

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know time crawls on when you're waiting for the song to start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I'm sorry for not uploading chapters in a while! I didn't mean to take so long in between uploads, so I apologize! Thank you for being patient! <3

When Anne first started learning about medicine, she realized that she had a natural gift for holding back her emotions when she had to. She was a naturally passionate and sometimes emotional person, but when she worked, she was always able to keep her focus narrow on her task at hand. This made her such an effective doctor, since she found it easy to keep sentiment aside and bury her emotions while she worked through difficult treatments and surgeries. This is also why she was so good at holding her tongue in times when she questioned Dutch’s leadership. 

Unfortunately, for everyone around her, this was not one of those times. After taking just one look at Kieran, Anne instantly fell to her knees in despair. She studied every single injury on his body and vividly imagined the trauma it caused him. 

Kieran was unconscious and barely clinging to life. He had blood pouring out of one of his eyes, cigarette burns all over his body, knife wounds, broken ribs, missing teeth and probably a myriad of other injuries that she couldn’t yet see. Seeing him like this, and knowing that she prolonged his captivity because she refused to give Dutch her money to fund his rescue, made her want to die. 

Anne’s sobbing caused onlookers to grow confused over what was happening. As far as they knew, their doctor was on her knees openly weeping for a guy that she barely even spoke to, let alone cared for. Arthur swiftly grabbed her by the arm and forced her onto her feet.

“Get up. You hear me?” He said through gritted teeth. 

“I did this. This was me. I did this.” Anne kept repeating through tears.

“Stop that. You ain’t done this. But you’re going to do something much worse if you don’t stop this right now. He’s gonna die. He needs you. Now.”

“He needed me, but I didn’t help him, because I was being selfish. I was being so selfish,” Anne stammered.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, but it don’t matter right now. What matters is you got to start workin’. Cause he’ll die if you don’t do something, quick.”

Anne looked back at Arthur and started to calm herself. He was right, and she needed put her head back on straight. The initial shock of seeing Kieran, was starting to fade and clarity started to set back in. Anne wiped away her tears and gestured to the crowd that gathered around her. “Get them out of here.” 

Arthur released his grip on her arm and instantly started shooing away the crowd. “Go on, get. All of you. Let her work in peace.”

Anne turned around and started to feel her focus narrow on Kieran’s injuries. She sat by his side and started to work. She felt Charles and Arthur behind her, watching her, presumably in case she falls apart again. “You two stay here, I’ll work on your injuries in between treating him. Okay?” Anne said without looking up.

“Don’t worry about us. Just focus on him.” Said Charles. 

“I appreciate it.” Anne said almost in a whisper, “And if you guys don’t mind, will you two stay put for a while? Just in case I…how do I put this? Start acting less than professional. I don’t think I will, but…you know?”

“That’s fine.” Arthur said as he took a seat on the ground. “I ain’t got nowhere to be.” 

“Yes you do. We need to tell Dutch what happened.” Charles reminded Arthur.

“What happened?” Anne asked as she worked.

“Our plan didn’t work as well as we hoped. After Charles set the distraction, I got caught trying to rescue Kieran and they saw me take him.” Arthur said casually. 

“They saw you?” Anne asked. 

“Yeah, shot at me too. That’s how I ended up with this.” Arthur said as she gestured to the wound on his arm. “I killed the folk who shot at us, but once the others they see Kieran gone, their gonna realize it was us.” 

“You think they’re on their way now? To retaliate?” Anne asked with slight concern.

“Don’t know. Maybe.” Charles said calmly, “Just want everyone to be prepared in case.”

“Go. Tell Dutch, then.” Arthur said nudging Charles. 

Charles hesitated, but he eventually got up and started walking over to the mansion. Shortly after Charles left, Anne turned her attention Kieran’s eye. She peeled open his eyelid to get a better look at the wound. 

“What happened here? Kieran’s eye is looking pretty bad.” Anne said as she opened a bottle of antiseptic.

“They were in the process of cutting it out when Charles set off the distraction. I ain’t too sure how far they got with it.”

“Not too far it seems. Thank god. He may lose his sight in this eye, though. I’m not sure. It’s too early to tell.” Anne said as she started to disinfect his wounded eye. 

Progress on his treatment was going smoothly and Anne was pleased on the strides she was able to make. He wasn’t out of the woods yet, but she was feeling good that she was able to make an effective start on treatment. That good feeling soon faded as heard footsteps approaching her. 

“Kieran, my boy. Oh, what have they done to you?” Dutch said as he stood over Anne as he worked, “What do you think, Miss Anne? Will he be alright?” 

_I don’t know. He might not. He might die tonight, and if he does, I don’t know if I’ll be able to live with myself._ Anne thought to herself bleakly. She blamed herself for everything that’s happened, but she couldn’t help but also feel angry at Dutch as well. He let Arthur get kidnapped by these people before and now they’ve gone and hurt Kieran too. Part of her was hoping Dutch would apologize and take some responsibility for Kieran’s injuries, but it was becoming clear that wasn’t going to happen.

“Miss Anne, will he be alright?” Dutch repeated to her.

Anne looked up at Dutch and gave him a somber look, “I sure hope so.” 

“Well, I leave it to your capable hands.” Dutch said before walking off.

As soon as Dutch was gone, Anne exhaled a breath she didn’t realize she was holding in. Arthur gave her a look as if he could sense the conflict inside of her. She didn’t say anything, and instead kept on working on Kieran’s injuries as if nothing was wrong. 

Part of her wanted to reach out to Arthur, and ask him what he thought about all of this. After all, it wasn’t that long ago, Arthur was the one bleeding on her medical bed due to the inaction of Dutch. Not only that, but the way that Arthur looked at her, made her think that he was interested in her thoughts on the matter, but neither of them dared to say a word about it.

*************

Anne worked for countless hours treating each and every one of Kieran’s injuries, and even somehow managed to find time to extract the bullet from Arthur’s arm and to stitch up the wound on Charles’ face. 

She was grateful that she forced herself to get some sleep earlier, or else she probably would have collapsed from exhaustion. Anne eventually got Kieran to a stable state and knew that it was out of her hands if he was going to survive or not. Arthur graciously offered Kieran his bed to rest since it would be much warmer than sleeping in Anne’s medical cot outside in the cold.

Anne normally would have refused such a gesture, but she agreed with Arthur that he would need the warmth of the indoors tonight. Plus, Anne wanted a peaceful environment for him to wake up in, when he eventually regains consciousness. Anne sat by Kieran’s side and watched him as he slept. Slept was a generous word as he wasn’t sleeping so much as he was unconscious from his injuries. She planted a kiss on his forehead and was somewhat grateful that he wasn’t awake to feel the full extent of his wounds. 

He would probably be in a lot of pain right now if he was awake, since Anne knew that she would have to limit how much medicine she could give him to dull his suffering. He was fighting a lot of potential infections from his wounds, and Anne couldn’t overload his body with too much medication as he worked to fight the sepsis. 

Arthur came in the room not shortly after. “You should get some sleep. I can watch him for you if you want.”

“No, thank you.” Anne said as she brushed hair from Kieran’s forehead. 

“Why not? You ain’t been doing anything, ‘cept for watching him. I don’t see why I can’t be the one to do it. If something don’t look right, I’ll be sure to wake you.“

“Thank you, but you and Charles have already done so much, and besides, this my fault. I need to be the one who makes it right.”

“There you go again, sayin’ this is your fault. How exactly are you responsible for this?” Arthur asked sternly.

Anne looked Arthur in the eyes. “I delayed his rescue. I can’t exactly explain how, but I think I could’ve found a way to bribe Dutch into giving the order for Kieran’s rescue. But I didn’t do it. Instead, I selfishly asked you and Charles to risk your lives for me, all because I was too afraid to give Dutch what he wanted.” 

“That’s not on you. That was Dutch’s choice. It’s his fault that this happened to the poor kid. Kieran’s one of us now, and we’re supposed to look out for each other. That what Dutch always taught us, but now… I don’t know if he still believes that. Hell, when Colm took me Dutch didn’t even…” 

Anne eyed Arthur curiously and in response he quickly stopped taking when he realized what he was implying. A pregnant pause filled the room as it was growing more and more obvious that both of them had a lot on their mind in regard to Dutch’s leadership. Anne desperately wanted to express her concerns about Dutch and she sensed that he did as well, but neither of them had the courage to air the first grievance. 

A faint moan eventually broke the silence. They both turned to look at the source of the sound and saw Kieran rousing from his unconsciousness. Anne immediately went to his side and sighed in relief that there was still life in him.

“Kieran!” Anne said crouched down by Kieran’s bedside. “Can you hear me?” 

Kieran mumbled a bit but couldn’t form any words. His face was still very swollen from all the beatings he received while in captivity and it was likely affecting his speech. 

“Don’t try to talk. Your jaw and lips are still really bruised. Talking will bring you a lot of pain right now. Only speak if it’s absolutely necessary.” Anne said as she grabbed Kieran’s hand and held it tightly.

She pressed his hand to her lips and planted a kiss on his fingers. Kieran squeezed her hand in response.

“I love you.” Kieran said hoarsely. 

Anne smiled as tears filled her eyes. “I love you. I love you so much, but you’re still recovering. You need to save your strength. Only talk if it’s an emergency.”

“That was an emergency.” Kieran said with a small smile.


	23. Grenade Jumper

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They'll say it's not worth it, so we'll leave this town in ruins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I'm sorry for not having any smut for a while, but there will be some soon!

Anne knew that Kieran’s journey to recovery was going to be a long one. She was mentally prepared for the ordeal, but still lacked the emotional resolve to see Kieran in such agony. He was in constant pain from his injuries and he still couldn’t properly speak to Anne without feeling the full pain of his damaged mouth and jaw.

Anne felt that it would be best for Kieran to be unconscious as much as possible, so he could avoid feeling his injuries. She gave him sedatives to help him sleep for longer than normal and to prevent him waking up at night from all the pain. The first few nights were tough, but Anne was grateful that Arthur offered his room to Kieran for as long as she needed. She couldn’t imagine the discomfort Kieran would be in if he had to endure his injuries while also fighting the cold of the outdoors. 

Part of her felt guilty that Arthur gave up his room in the mansion for Kieran, but she also knew that having a bed for him to rest on instead of her hard medical cot would be a tremendous help in keeping Kieran as comfortable as possible. Plus, the room did offer some privacy to her and Kieran, and kept them safe from all the watchful eyes in camp. Though, Anne wasn’t sure how important privacy was at this point, since she was almost certain everyone in camp likely knew about her and Kieran, by now. 

Her reaction to Kieran’s injuries likely left little to the imagination, and she figured there was no sense in hiding anymore. Arthur and Charles proved to be unfazed by the news of their secret relationship, so she knew the rest of gang would likely feel similarly.

************** 

Kieran woke from his sleep and instantly felt pain. He was growing tired of the constant state of discomfort and longed for moments of consciousness that weren’t burdened by his injuries. Anne kept him sedated, so he could avoid pain as much as he could, but he hated spending so much time asleep and unable to talk to Anne. He desperately wanted to talk to her about everything that had happened, and wanted to know if she had any new thoughts about their future plans.

But, Anne wasn’t joking. His mouth and jaw were in so much pain and moving them even slightly felt agonizing. He was grateful that he managed to tell Anne that he loved her the other day, but he couldn’t imagine saying anything more than that. He would need to wait until he healed a bit more before he could say what he wanted to say. 

Being unable to speak wasn’t as bad as he thought it would be. He didn’t know if it was Anne’s natural medical instinct or their romantic connection, but Anne tended to his needs as if she could read his mind. Anytime he had even the smallest inclination, she was always right there with whatever he wanted before he could even finish his thought.

Anne presence was comforting to him, as he was worried that there would be some residual awkwardness between the two of them from when before he was kidnapped. The way he acted towards Anne when he was dealing with his guilt over Jack Marston felt like a lifetime ago. In a lot of ways, it was.

When Colm got his hands on him that night of Jack’s return, Kieran didn’t even bother begging for his life. He was convinced that his life was long gone at that point and he came to terms with his death rather peacefully. What he wasn’t prepared for, was the pain and all the torture Colm and his boys put him through. He would like to say that he had a steady resolve the whole time he was held prisoner, but that simply wasn’t true. They hurt him, badly and without mercy. It was enough to make anyone, even the strongest, desperate for a reprieve.  

When he was a prisoner in the van der Linde gang, he did all he could to fight for his life. He tried begging other members of the gang for sympathy, he divulged secrets of the O’Driscoll gang and turned on his own men, to save his life. This time around, when he was a prisoner of Colm O’Driscoll, he didn’t do any of those things. He just wanted to die. He just wanted the pain to stop.

It was shameful looking back on it now, since he truly wanted to be strong and hold on for as long as he could for Anne’s sake, but in reality, he wanted nothing more than to end his life, and his suffering. That’s why he was so shocked to see Arthur and Charles at the O’Driscoll camp to rescue him. He was so content with dying, that seeing a chance to live didn’t bring him joy initially. He had to force himself to change his mindset, right then and there, in order to gather the strength to save himself.  

Kieran has tried to bury those thoughts in the past, now that he’s back in the arms of the woman he loves. He was grateful that his will to live has returned to him, but this time it felt different. He still feared the O’Driscolls, even more so than he did before, but he also feared losing Anne. Not just Anne in general, but more specifically, he feared missing out on the chance to give Anne the life he always felt like she deserved.

He spent so much of his time with her, wishing he was a stronger, braver person, but in reality he was never going to truly change unless life forced him to. Indeed, life has forced him to do so and now he knew that protecting Anne and protecting the life they have together would have to come first, no matter what.

************** 

Another week went by without much change to Kieran’s recovery. His was gradually getting better, but progress was slow, as expected. On the upside, Kieran mouth and jaw had healed up nicely and he was finally speak without being in agony.

Anne was sitting on the floor next him, changing the bandages on some of his wounds when Kieran grabbed Anne’s attention.

“Anne? Can we talk?”

Anne looked at Kieran with surprise. She wasn’t quite used to hearing Kieran’s voice, as he still used sedatives regularly to help cope with the pain, which usually made him too tired to talk. But in this moment, he sounded fully coherent and it seemed like he had something on his mind. Anne stopped what she was doing and gave him her full attention. 

“Yes?”

“Why did Charles and Arthur come and save me? Did Dutch ask them to?” Kieran asked flatly, as if he already knew the answer before he even asked.

Anne gave Kieran a look. “What do you think?”

Kieran sighed. “Yeah, I figured. I didn’t think Dutch was gonna save me, not after what happened with Arthur. And we all know Dutch likes Arthur a whole lot more than me.”

“Still, I had to try. When Charles gave me the news that Colm had you, I asked Dutch for help. I didn’t think he would, but I figured there was no harm in asking. Turns out there was harm in asking.”

“What do you mean?”

Anne took a deep breath. “I…I think, I could have gotten Dutch to go after you. But I didn’t do it. I…I was scared.”

“Scared of what?” Kieran asked with concern.

“Scared of Dutch and what he might do.” Anne said shamefully, “I considered offering Dutch money, a lot of money, to go and send the gang off to rescue you. But, I didn’t. I didn’t want him to know that I had that kind of money to give away.”

“Why? You think he would try and rob you?”

“I-I don’t know. Probably not. Not now, at least. But maybe in the future? His plans haven’t been panning out lately, and I’m worried that he’s going to get more desperate for money if things don’t start changing soon. Maybe then, he’ll…”

“He’ll turn on you.” 

“Yeah.” Anne said quietly. 

“Well good. I’m glad he don’t know about your money. I don’t want him gettin’ any ideas. You’re family, their innocent. They ain’t part of this.”

“That’s true, but because I wasn’t willing to give him anything, he didn’t rescue you. You could’ve died. Violently. And I would have felt horrible. I know, it wasn’t entirely my fault, but if you hadn’t made it back, I would have blamed myself.”

Anne felt herself on the verge of tears. 

Kieran noticed her change in expression and grabbed her by the arm. “Hey. C’mere.” 

Anne laid her head near Kieran’s chest, taking extra precautions not to lean on any of his wounds.

“Don’t cry.” Kieran said as he put a hand on Anne’s head. “This ain’t your fault. Don’t worry ‘bout things like that.” 

“I can’t help it.”

“I know. But that’s not right. I don’t blame you for what happened. I never did.” 

Anne kissed Kieran on the lips gently, taking care not to accidently touch his any of his wounds. Anne felt her body light up at the contact. She’d forgotten what it was like to kiss him. It had been so long since she was able to show him any affection, and she didn’t realize how much she missed it.

Anne pulled away from the kiss at gave Kieran a sly look. “I missed that.”

“You did?”

“So much.”

“Really?” Kieran asked with a smile. 

“Of course.” Anne said with a smirk, “You know, I can show you how much I’ve missed you…when you’re better.” 

Kieran looked like he wasn’t quite understanding what she was implying, but then his eyes lit up in realization.

“Oh.” Kieran said shyly. “Yeah, let’s do that.” 

“When you’re better.” Anne reminded him.

“When I’m better.” Kieran repeated back. 

“That’s right.”

Kieran looked back at her and gave her a boyish grin. “So you best hurry on fixin’ me up, then. I don’t want to wait much longer.”

Anne rolled her eyes in amusement, before continuing to change Kieran’s bandages. She was glad that he was starting to seem more like himself, and now that the burden of having to save his life was beginning to lift off her shoulders, she was feeling more like herself as well. She looked back at Kieran and was grateful that he was smiling again.


	24. I'm Like a Lawyer

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We're the new face of failure, prettier and younger, but not any better off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to upload this chapter! 
> 
> Also, smut warning! Major smut ahead!

A few weeks had passed since Kieran’s kidnapping, and he was finally starting to make serious progress on his healing. He was finally able to walk again, but he was limited to short distances due to his pain or fatigue. Still, Anne was glad that Kieran’s recovery was going well, and she was even more glad that Kieran didn’t end up losing his eye. He did lose most of his vision in that eye, and Anne predicted that it would likely be impaired for the rest of his life, but she was still glad that he didn’t end up losing it all together.

Despite all of the strides he was making, Kieran was starting to get restless. He missed being able to do his usual work and he missed being around the horses. Anne didn’t blame him for feeling that way, but she also cautioned him not to overexert himself. She worried that his recovery progress would ultimately get compromised if he kept pushing himself unnecessarily.

Kieran didn’t fight her, and followed her recommendations obediently. She appreciated his willingness to listen to her, but she still empathized with his plight. It was almost night, when Anne came to see Kieran. She had a busy day, and she wasn’t able to keep him company as much as she would have liked.

She wasn’t sure what Kieran did all day when she wasn’t around to spend time with him. She knew that Kieran didn’t know how to read, so she couldn’t bring him books to read to help pass the time. Mary-Beth, was supposed to teach him at some point, but she never got around to it. There was always so much happening in camp lately, that leisure time wasn’t as prevalent as before.

Kieran was staring at the ceiling when Anne entered the room. “Hey.”

Kieran’s face lit up when he saw her, “Hey. You finally done for the night?”

“Yes, finally done. I’m sorry I wasn’t around to keep you company.”

“It’s alright. How were the horses?”

“They’re fine. I think. To be honest, they always look the same to me. I guess I don’t know enough about them to give you an answer.” 

Kieran nodded in slight disappointment. “Do you think maybe I could take a look at them tomorrow? Just a quick walk down, and then straight back to bed. What do you think?”

Anne shrugged. She hated having to deny him what he wanted, but she really wanted him to rest as much as possible. “Maybe. I’ll see how you’re doing tomorrow, and we can talk about it then.”

Kieran’s expression deflated slightly. “Alright.”

“Hey, don’t look at me like that. You know that I only want what’s best for you.” Anne said as she sat on the bed.

“I know.” Kieran said grabbing Anne’s hand, “I just miss being around them. I miss doing a lot of things. I’m getting restless.”

“I can tell.”

“I guess there ain’t much I can do about it.”

Anne leaned over and put her face closer to Kieran’s. “That’s not true. You have a lot of pent up energy, maybe I can help you relieve some of it.”

“What? Here?” Kieran said looking around the room. “In Arthur’s room? That ain’t right. He let me stay here as a favor. I don’t want to do that to him.” 

“He’s not even in camp. He went to San Denis for the night, I think he and some of the other guys are working a job over there. They won’t even be back until morning.”

“Still, it don’t feel right.”

“Well, we just won’t tell him.” Anne said as she straddled Kieran’s lap. “If you really feel bad about it, I’ll find a way to make it up to him. I’ll buy him something expensive." 

“You promise?”

“Of course.” Anne said before putting her lips on Kieran’s neck. 

Kieran reacted instantly to the sensation and Anne quickly put her hand over his mouth. She pulled herself up from his neck to look him in the eye. “We have to be extra quiet. Absolutely silent. The Marstons are right down the hall. I don’t want them to hear anything.”

Kieran nodded. 

“Not a sound” Anne said sternly as she took her hand off his mouth.

Kieran nodded again.

Anne placed her mouth on his lip and kissed him gently. She carefully moved her hands down his body, until her hands made contact with his groin. Anne pulled back from the kiss so she could see his expression as she touched him. His face was needy and desperate. She could tell how much he wanted this, since it had been a really long time since she was able to be intimate with him. Anne unfastened his pants and freed his growing erection.

She stroked his cock gently, and shot him a demanding look to remind him to be quiet. Kieran tried his best to obey, but she could tell how good she was making him feel.

“You like that?” Anne whispered to him.

Kieran nodded weakly as he tried to hold back moans. “Yeah…” 

“Good” Anne said quietly. “You think you can handle more?” 

“In a bit.” Kieran shut his eyes tightly, “Lemme get used to this first.”

“Okay. Let me know when you’re ready.”

Anne kept stroking his cock with one hand, and used her other hand to slowly undress herself. She removed most of her clothes, and then started to do the same for Kieran. She put a hand on his shirt hem and lifted it slowly. Kieran quickly grabbed her hand to stop her.

“Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” Anne asked quietly.

“Take it off.” 

“Okay,” Anne said removing her hand from his shirt. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be sorry. I just ain’t ready yet. For you to see all them wounds.” 

“What do you mean? Your scars?”

Kieran nodded.

Anne quietly scoffed, “What are you talking about? I’ve already seen them. I’m the one who stitched them up.”

“Yeah, but that was different. Seeing them like this…when we’re doing…this. It makes me nervous. I just ain’t ready for you to see all them scars when we’re…you know.”

Anne gave him a confused look. She didn’t understand why he would be embarrassed for her to see his body. After all the work she’s done on him, she felt like she knew his body better than he did, at this point. But if his injuries were making him feel unattractive, she didn’t want to fight the issue. This is the first time they’ve been intimate in a while and the last thing she wanted for him to feel uncomfortable in any way. 

“Alright.” Anne said empathetically, “We can leave it on. But I want you to know, I don’t care about that. It doesn’t bother me at all. You’ll always be handsome, no matter what.” 

Kieran gave her a shy smile, so Anne leaned down to kiss him. They stayed like that for a while before he pulled back to look at her. “I’m ready. I want you.”

Anne gave him an eager look and quickly moved to line his cock up with her entrance. She was about to sink down on his length, before she stopped herself. “Put your hand over your mouth.”  

“Good idea.” Kieran said before placing both hands tightly over his mouth.

Once Anne saw that he was ready, she slowly descended onto his throbbing erection. She was glad that she had to foresight to remind Kieran to be quiet, because even with his hands covering his mouth, she could still hear desperate sounds of pleasure coming from him. She couldn’t imagine how loud he would be if he wasn’t trying to muffle his sounds.

“I forgot how good this was” Anne said with a quiet moan, as she slowly rode his cock. She looked at him for a response, but it looked like he could hardly breathe, let alone talk. “You okay?”

Kieran didn’t respond, but instead nodded quickly as she rode him. Sweat was building on his brow, and she could tell he was trying to hold back his pleasure. Anne stopped moving on top of him, to give him a chance to catch his breath. 

“Keep goin’. Don’t stop.” Kieran said in a strained voice. “I’m so close.”

Anne pulled herself off his erection and put her face close to his. She slipped a hand in between her legs and started touching herself. “Give me a second to catch up.” She whispered to him.

Kieran brushed her fingers aside and put his hand in between her legs, instead. “Lemme do it.”

Kieran rubbed his fingers through her wet folds before placing two fingers inside of her. Anne sucking in air through her teeth and buried her face into Kieran’s neck. Now she was the one in danger of making too much noise. Even though it’s been a while since they’ve done this, Kieran still knew exactly how she liked to be touched and what she needed to bring her to her end. She pushed her face deeper into his skin as she was reached closer and closer to her climax. 

Anne was on the verge of finishing, before she pulled his hand away from her. She then immediately slipped back onto his cock without warning. Before Kieran could even react, Anne pressed her hand over his mouth to muffle the sounds she knew he was going to make. She rode him a steady pace, before quickly picking up speed as she felt her climax approaching, once again.

Anne choked down a moan as she came. Her breathing increased as waves of pleasure moved throughout her body. “Kieran…” she whispered. “I love you.” 

As soon as the words left her mouth, Kieran cried out in ecstasy. He moved Anne’s hand off his mouth and instead pulled her lips down onto his. He moaned into her mouth as she rode him to completion. As Kieran came down from his orgasm, Anne deepened their kiss. She put her hands on his face and pulled away from the kiss.

“That was amazing.” Anne said in a hushed tone. “I missed this so much.”

“I did, too” Kieran replied.

Anne’s eyes started to well up with tears.

“Hey. What’s wrong?” Kieran asked with concern.

“Nothing. I just…” Anne said wiping her eyes, “I’m just so glad that you’re okay. I was so scared that I was going to lose you.” 

“I know. I was scared, too.” Kieran said emotionally, “But that doesn’t matter anymore. Cause I’m here now. I’m here cause you saved me. I would have died from these wounds if it weren’t for you.”

“That’s not true. I’m good at what I do, but I’m not necessarily more talented than others. Anyone could have healed you the way I did.”

“That ain’t what I meant.” Kieran said as he pressed his forehead against Anne’s. “I meant that if it weren’t for you, I don’t know if I would’ve wanted to live. Cause of you, I was reminded why I needed to fight for my life.”


End file.
